I signed Ariel up for some summer classes recently, which got me to thinking about how many activities some parents sign their kids up for. She’s signed up for two swimming classes - vital, as my in-laws have a swimming pool that is not fenced off from the rest of their back yard, and an acting class.

My basic goal is just to have something special for her to do when school is not in session. There are a variety of classes I want her to take as she gets older, such as some sort of self defense, but mostly I want it to be things she chooses to take.

However, you always hear about parents who complain that they have no time for themselves because they’re spending so much time running from activity to activity with their kids. That can be a symptom of overparenting.

Take a look at what your kids do. Do they have time for themselves or are they always in some sort of formal activity? Think back to your own childhood. Maybe that was how you were raised or maybe you had lots of free time to be yourself.

Free time to themselves is one of the gifts you can give your children. They need to know how to entertain themselves. There is nothing wrong with letting your kids play in the backyard or even in the front yard if they’re old enough and the neighborhood is appropriate.

Remember that if your kids are used to being entertained by other activities, they won’t be able to come up with their own ideas for something to do so easily. That means when they are between activities, you are a lot more likely to get the “Mom, I’m bored!” complaint. A child who is used to playing games, being creative or even just sitting and reading doesn’t get bored quite as easily. Yes, you will still hear the classic complaint, but your child will be more ready to handle quieter time themselves.

Don’t protect them too much from failure either. Let them suffer consequences as neccessary. Kids really aren’t as fragile as many parents think. My daughter gets so mad at me when I tell her to do something herself when she’s insisting that she cant’. I’m not talking about tying her shoes… she’s only 4, after all, and it will be time soon enough for that one. I’m talking about days when she wants me to draw a circle for her because she doesn’t think she can, or rather, doesn’t want to. The frustration is very good for her. How fast would she learn to draw circles if I did all of them for her?

Let your children suffer frustration, fail at tasks they are trying to learn. Let them be embarrassed sometimes. Children get over these problems more easily if they are familiar. You know that as an adult you fail sometimes, get frustrated and even get embarrasses. You learned to deal with that as a child. Do your children the same favor. Don’t make their lives too easy or overly managed.