A lot of people think that kids these days are spoiled. And it’s easy to see why. Kids often have tons of toys, electronics and family life can seem to center around them.

Heck, the Navy even compared the current generation reaching recruitment age to aliens! Basically they feel that kids these days speak such strange jargon with their abbreviations (LOL), and that they are excessively used to being praised.

Well, we can argue that one back and forth all the time. Certainly a lot of parents have been told to do everything they can for their child’s self esteem, and many take that to mean praise every little thing. But I still have faith that most parents do the best they can and try not to overdo it.

I agree with the experts over on WebMD. They have a great list on how to raise a spoiled child.

One of the easiest mistakes to make in my opinion is not enforcing rules consistently. I suspect we all do this to some degree. The challenge is to not do it too much, and most especially to keep it consistent on the most important rules.

I love the idea of knowing how to praise a child properly. In a lot of ways I don’t think it’s so much what you praise as how you praise it. It’s been shown that telling your child that they’re smart is not as effective as telling they you’re proud of how hard they worked. It’s just more motivating.

I do know my kids have a lot more toys than they need. We have a plan to go through them hopefully soon and get rid of at least half. That will take care of a lot of the clutter. And you know what? My daughter is looking forward to it. We just did a smaller cleanout of her clothes, and she was delighted and very proud to have worked so hard on that kind of a project.

I don’t think my kids are too spoiled. I work hard at making sure they know they are a part of my life, but not the only thing. They help around the house. They have rules to follow. It seems to work pretty well.

[tags]spoiled kids,navy aliens,children,family,rules[/tags]

It’s been a busy morning. Getting ready to dog-sit two very sweet dogs. One’s diabetic and he’ll be a bit of extra work, but absolutely the mellowest dog I’ve ever met.

1. Made daughter’s lunch for school.
2. Walked my daughter to school.
3. 1 load laundry because 2-1/2 year old son wet his bed.
4. Emptied dishwasher.
5. Put dirty dishes in dishwasher.
6. Cleaned countertops.
7. Watched Sesame Street with my son (he insists on this one, hates to watch it alone).
8. Put son down for nap.
9. Swept kitchen floor.
10. Mopped kitchen floor.
11. Swept office floor.
12. Mopped office floor.
13. Posted my Thursday Thirteen.

Nope, the day’s not done yet by a long shot. Going to be mixing housework with working online all day, making sure the house is reasonably dog-proof. Can’t have the younger dog thinking the kids’ toys are dog toys. She probably won’t but you know how it is. Why risk it?

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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I am so glad we haven’t had to move these past two years. It hardly seems that long but I am so glad that I haven’t had to go through that stress again. Moving has to be one of my least favorite things to do, although whenever we can afford to buy our own home, I will move quite cheerfully.

When we moved into this house a bit over two years ago it was my first time using professional movers. I am so glad we did. This was just after Gage had had his surgery, and was our third move in about seven months. Yes, we moved twice while I was pregnant with him. Talk about stress.

We really should have made it easier on ourselves by the second time, but we didn’t. The third move we were just sick of calling on family members to help us, which is why we chose to hire movers that time.

But it might have been a bit less stressful if we had known about sitse such as www.homebulletin.net that help you find movers. Calling movers was really, really tedious, not something I wanted to deal with at the time (you try it with an infant recovering from surgery!). Their site has a simple form you can fill out to have movers call you. Very simple. They also have useful moving tips such as a moving checklist.

I know I’ll have to move again someday; I don’t intend to rent forever, after all, but I think I’m definitely sticking with professional movers. It was just such a stress saver.

I’ve been working for a while now on a new section for this site on being a virtual assistant. It’s one of the great areas for people to work at home.

The section is still being developed, but the pages that are complete so far I hope will be very useful, so I decided to post them now. I expect to keep adding pages as I go through my research.

[tags]work at home,home business,virtual assistants[/tags]

[tags]wordless wednesday[/tags]

Not all elementary schools have recess anymore. Most schools have come to realize that recess is necessary to children, but a few still don’t.

We’re lucky in my area. My daughter’s school not only has recess, but they have the kids go out and run the track once a day. I guess they’re pretty firm believers in keeping the kids active.

That’s a really nice thing to read in light of this article on WebMD. It says kids do better in school when they have time to play outside, and it also recommends that adults get involved in organizing things a little.

I find reports like this interesting. Schools have had to go through so many changes in recent years. There’s so much emphasis on academic achievement, and sometimes schools aren’t sure how to get enough time to do everything they need to do.

Then there are all the health things they’re trying to load onto the schools. They’re expected to take major steps to help with preventing childhood obesity. Some are even getting picky about the treats brought in for children’s birthdays.

All this makes me glad that my daughter’s school does seem to be coping well. They get recess, candy isn’t allowed in lunches brought from home, but there’s nothing said about birthday treats. It seems like a good balance to me, especially since there will generally be only 1-3 birthdays in a given month. That’s really not that bad in terms of getting treats.

How do the schools in your area cope? Do the kids get recess? What about restrictions on snacks or lunches?

[tags]elementary school,recess[/tags]

I was listening to the radio the other day after dropping my husband off at work (I needed the car, for once). I didn’t get to catch a lot of the show, but they were talking about how parents are overly concerned with their children’s self esteem.

We all know how true that is these days. Parents want to tell their children they are the best at whatever it is they want to do. And, as the show pointed out, it leaves children with inflated egos rather than a realistic assessment of their own abilities.

One caller pointed out that there’s a problem with just telling parents they need to give their children a realistic view of their own abilities. You tell a child that he or she is just average, and that’s all they’ll ever expect of themselves.

But I also felt that caller was missing some of the point. The trouble has much to do with telling kids they did great no matter what. Not every child is a sports star, top student, etc. Praising every effort a child makes without concern for how well he or she really did means it’s harder to learn from experience.

I think one of the best bits of advice I read was not to praise your child’s inherent ability. Rather, praise the effort. “You worked hard on that assignment” can be much better for your child to hear than “You’re so smart.”

I think there’s a balance that we as parents need to strike. Praise your children as you help them to understand where they can improve. Allow them to understand that it takes hard work to acheive their dreams, but also that not everyone will be a CEO or sports star.

This can be a difficult point to make. You want your child to believe anything is possible. But helping them to understand just how hard it can be to reach their highest goals can help them to realize how much work they’ll have to do.

There was also a very good point that you cannot give self esteem. Self esteem comes from doing. If everyone gets a trophy, suddenly it’s not special anymore.

I do believe that every child has something that he or she is good at. He or she may not be good at the things he or she would rather be good at, but you can use the skill in another area as an example to encourage improvement.

I always like to remind my daughter when she talks about something being “too hard” that another skill she has was once “too hard.” It takes time to develop a new skill, and few come about without effort. Once she learns how to do something, she has something to be legitimately proud of.

Sometimes being a good parent means letting your child fail. Failure is a lesson we all have to learn, and what better time than when you have a loving parent to help you look at what happened? Stop worrying about self esteem and start looking at what your child does well, and what he or she wants to do better at. Those are much better sources of solid self esteem.

[tags]children,family,kids,self esteem[/tags]

[tags]wordless wednesday[/tags]

Working at home has always been a major time commitment for me, and I’ll readily admit that sometimes I struggle with balancing it with family time. How do you make sure you have enough of it?

A part of it comes from planning. If you don’t have a schedule it can be very easy to overdo, to feel that you have to keep working, even when your family needs you.

Your day to day routine can help you keep in touch with your family. You should always be taking time to be there with your family.

It can start with dinner. Eat together regularly. Daily is ideal, with the television off. Prepare dinner together. I got my kids started in the kitchen very young. They don’t have to be very old to tear lettuce, after all, and how they help changes as they grow.

That’s one of the important things to remember about family time, in my opinion. It is not just about having fun. It’s about living together and helping each other.

But I do try to get out with my family. We try to have family outings regularly. Our ideal is once a week, but other parts of life often get in the way of that.

A simple thing to do is pick a place and go hiking. It’s free and good for all of you.

Of course, at times you do have to cope with your work getting out of hand. Business picks up and you really need to work extra hours. Getting enough family time is tough.

In part you will need to decide how much work you should be taking on. Sometimes you have to just deal with it, but other times it’s a matter of knowing how to say no.

If it’s getting really tough, it may be time to consider a little childcare help. That may not be the reason you work at home, but it can be of great assistance at those times when you just really need to get things done without interruption.

If you’re one of the lucky ones, you’ll have family or friends who can help much of the time. In my case, that would be my inlaws. Retired, local grandparents are really amazing.

Other times you’ll have to pay for help. If that’s what it takes, you may have to be resigned to it.

Once you’re done with the busy times, make sure you commit to some good family time again. You do not want overwork to become a habit.

[tags]family time,working at home,wahm,sahm[/tags]

Yes folks, I’m joining the crowd and adding the new BlogRush widget to this blog. I already have it on my Aspects of Home Business blog, and I decided it was time already to put it here, just to see how it performs.

This is the latest brainchild of John Reese. The idea is that for every exposure your blog gives, you get exposure on other blogs. Plus you get exposures due to your downline.

No guarantee that anyone will click anything, of course, and the widget is JavaScript, so it’s not about search engines. But the widget is quite plainly visible in the sidebar, so hopefully people will find interesting blogs through these.

One of the really great parts is that you can add keyword and URL keyword filters to keep out blogs and topics you do not want on your site. Combine that with your choice of category, and this could be pretty good.

Blogs also go through automatic and human reviews, so they should be able to do a fair job of keeping splogs out.

I’m looking forward to seeing how BlogRush works. How about you? Are you joining or no? Do you foresee any problems for it?

[tags]blogrush,blog rush[/tags]