I came across this on Discovery News and it was too cute to resist sharing here. The cat is just too sweet and demanding of attention, making it incredibly difficult for the officer to do his job.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l7prksbcDo&feature=player_embedded]

I know a cat almost that sweet in my neighborhood, except she doesn’t climb people. But she doescome running for attention every time she sees people walking, even across the street. Drives her owners nuts because she’s not so bright about cars.

Have you ever wondered what some of the more common phrases in work at home ads really mean? If you took most of them literally, you’d expect the entire world to be rich, just from the sheer lack of effort made in various home businesses.

Here are some common phrases and their probable true meanings… or at least my own interpretation of them.

No selling required!

It’s not selling if you just tell everyone you meet that it’s a great product, right? Your family, friends, acquaintances, coworkers, random people you meet on the street, kids, neighbor’s dog and so forth should be grateful that you take the time to tell them about these wonderful products. They will beat a path to your door if you do so.

No experience required

That’s right, no experience required, and you’re not going to get much in the way of experience here. Unless you count the life experience of losing money to a scam. That’s worth something, right?

Free money making website

Free website that we sell to all our suckers… err, members. Hope you don’t mind that it looks like every other member’s website.

Earn money in your sleep

Not going to happen until you’ve put in a ton of effort. You might even lose some sleep over it.

Free trial

Just give us your credit card information. Your trial will be up before you get the information you’re asking for in the mail. E-mail isn’t good enough for our information.

Get paid to type

All you have to do is type in ads to convince other people to fall for the same scam! It’s easy and you deserve to make the money you lost to us back somehow right? Bueller? Bueller?

Act now! Only x y slots open!

We don’t care that we can allow as many people as we want to download our electronic product. Matter of fact, we’ve done that already. But if you think we’re limiting our sales you might forget to do your due diligence. So hurry up, will ya?

Earn money on autopilot

Rather like earning money while you sleep. It can happen, but it’s not going to be as fast or as easy for most people as the ad claims… and it might not happen at all.

(Google) (Twitter) (other popular site) will pay you $x,xxx per month!

If you follow our instructions, you might manage to waste a lot of time, lose some money advertising, not to mention paying us, and have next to nothing for it. Sometimes we don’t even know who we’re pretending will be paying you. We trust you not to notice the mixups.

As seen on…

We bought an ad there once. We’re not exactly welcome back.

Never let it be said my daughter isn’t imaginative. She’s working on her Christmas wish list already, and it was really hard keeping a straight face as she asked me how to spell various things.

Here’s what she wants so far:

1. Goldfish with everything I need to take care of it.
2. Harp
3. Baby Alive Girl
4. Cat
5. Dog
6. Lizard
7. Dress
8. Swing set
9. 2 mice in a cage
10. 2 bunnies
11. Horse
12. 200 pearls
13. Candy
14. Fairies

There’s a story behind that last one, and she means she wants real fairies, not dolls. At a Renaissance Faire back when my daughter was 4 a troll gave her an iridescent marble and told her it was a fairy egg, and to take good care of it so that it would hatch.

Obviously, it never has.

My daughter has decided that she needs some real fairies to come help her with it, so that maybe it will finally hatch. Since she can’t find any on her own, she wants them for Christmas.

Some nights getting the kids to bed isn’t easy. They’re bright eyed and bushy tailed when you’re ready for them to get to bed. This has lead to me and my husband joking about a drinking game for getting the kids to bed.

Standard drinking game rules, except you can’t take a drink until the kids are actually asleep.

Child gets up for drink – Take one drink.

Asks for other parent – Take one drink.

Gets up to go potty – Take one drink.

Gets up to go potty but doesn’t do anything there – Take 2 drinks.

Asks for an extra story – Take one drink.

Asks for same story as the night before – Take 2 drinks.

Complains: “I’m too hot!” – Take one drink.

Complains: “I’m too cold!” – Take one drink.

One child is too hot and the other is too cold – Take 2 drinks.

Wants to watch television with you – Take one drink.

The show you’re watching isn’t age appropriate – Take one drink.

The show you’re watching isn’t age appropriate and your child wakes you with nightmares that night – Take 2 drinks.

Mysterious owie appears. It hurts a lot. Needs kisses – Take one drink.

Mysterious owie must, must I say, have a bandage put on it – Take 2 drinks.

Child throws up – Take 2 drinks.

Gets up crying that favorite bedtime toy is missing – Take one drink.

Missing toy is at foot of the bed – Take one drink.

Missing toy is right by pillow, where it had been when you put child to bed – Take 2 drinks.

And of course, kids go to bed with no trouble at all… take a drink if you feel like it. You probably deserve it.

My mom gave my son a new toy the other day. It’s pretty cute, an inflatable remote control dump truck. He loves it, especially since he can use it in the house and not worry much about bumping into walls.

But one part of it comes with a warning to not let children use it. Care to guess which part?

That’s the truck, remote and foot pump. He’s bumped it into walls enough already that I think it has a small leak somewhere. He doesn’t seem to mind.

So…

Which part is too dangerous for children?

Did you guess:

If so, you’re correct! The foot pump is apparently the most dangerous part of this toy! See?

If you can’t read that, it says:

Warning:
This is not a toy and must only be operated by an adult. Keep out of reach of children.

I’m sitting here trying to figure out the danger. I don’t think the accordion folds of it could give so much as a nasty pinch. I don’t think fingers could get badly stuck in it.

About the only danger I can see is a kid toppling over while stomping on it. Maybe I’m a mean mom, but I don’t see that as a problem.