Having one parent be home with the kids often means living on a pretty tight budget. Even when the at home parent works, it’s often not enough to really ease the budget crunch. But being frugal all the time isn’t much fun.

Some of the problem can come from having to think about practically every purchase, no matter how necessary. It’s skipping your favorite treats. It’s telling the kids “no” all too often when they want a treat. It’s seeing friends and family be so much freer about how they spend money, and knowing you can’t do it.

Do You Have Any Options?

Some people say that you always have options. That’s true to a degree, but you can’t always exercise them right away. There aren’t many times that you can suddenly earn more money because you want to do more fun stuff. And you can’t just decide to splurge if you’re living paycheck to paycheck… at least not if you want a roof over your family’s head, working utilities and enough food to eat.

But you do have the option to try to bring in more money, if what you really want is an overall lifestyle change. You won’t be able to get it right away most likely, even if you were to start working outside the home, but you can set goals.

But I Want It Nooooooow!

Sometimes you can work in the small splurges. It’s wonderful when things work out that way. If you can afford to indulge yourself or your family just a little while being frugal, do so. It can really help ease some of the strain caused by being so careful with your finances.

If you can’t, it may be wiser to go over why you’re trying to save money in the first place. To an appropriate extent, this can be discussed with children. They shouldn’t be burdened too much with their parents’ financial problems, but knowing why they can’t have everything they want isn’t going to hurt them.

Especially if they watch a lot of television, kids want things. Lots of things. It often seems like they want everything they see.

Frugal or not, that’s not going to happen, right?

With that in mind, even as you say no because money is tight, think about how often you’d be saying no even if it weren’t. “No” is a great word for kids to hear when they’re trying to get you to buy stuff they don’t need. “Save your own money” isn’t a bad choice either.

When it’s stuff you want, think about what you want most. Do you want the shiny whatsit or do you want to meet your financial goals more? As a grownup, you should be able to decide sensibly whether or not you should indulge… even when you aren’t feeling like being sensible.

Get Support

No, not money. Find friends, family members, your spouse or significant other, and make sure you have emotional support for your choices. It’s particularly helpful to have the support of others who also need to be frugal. It can be a bit of a competition to see who can keep being frugal, save the most money, stick best to the budget, whatever.

Being frugal is much easier if you don’t feel alone in it.

And yes, it can still be exhausting. But you can get past that and keep working towards your goals.

I earn some pretty decent money from home most months (well, except last month, which was pathetic, ouch!). A fair bit of it comes from Google AdSense, which can be a pretty good program or a really lousy earner, depending on a lot of factors. That’s why all these ads proclaiming “Google Pays Me $(large amount of money) Per Day/Week/Whatever” drive me nuts.

I know it’s not that simple. But I had to look at the program’s page, just to see what’s going on with it.

Nope, not going to buy it. I really don’t like the looks of it.

First of all, make sure you look at lots of these ads and the sites they lead to. Yes, sites, plural, as each ad will lead to a different site. They’re all the same, just with different names and your city automatically entered into it by a script. Sometimes you’ll even see the same photos appear under different names. There are hundreds of these sites out there, apparently.

Some details they have flat wrong. They’re talking about checks from Google, then they say pay is weekly. Wrong. Google pays monthly. Then they even say the first check should be on its way within 48 hours. Someone is seriously mixed up here.

Google isn’t paying you as such for the links you post either. You’re getting paid when people click on those links, and you’d better not expect $5-$30 per click. Individual ads may eventually add up to that, but getting paid that high on a single click is quite rare.

They’re promoting two programs. Nope, not going to link them. Both are what are called forced continuity programs.

They may offer their products on either a free trial basis or for a small fee, say $3. However, you have 7 days from the time you order to cancel, or you get hit with a larger fee, which recurs monthly. They do have this listed in the Terms and Conditions, which is why it always pays to read these things. They’re sending a physical product by mail in this case, so 7 days after you place your order is hardly any time at all.

Their sites also mention being talked about on various news sources.

Know what? I never trust that if you haven’t linked to the story about your business so I can read it for myself. If a major news site referenced my business in a positive way, you’d better believe I’d be linking.

The “blog” pages promoting this have a variety of comments at the end, but if you take a look at least some of the comments will be the same. Comments are disabled due to spam. I guess the poor folks never heard of Akismet.

They also show all these wonderful pictures and tell a great story of rapid progress to amazing earnings.

I don’t care if it’s the best system on the planet. Most people will not be able to achieve such earnings. Doubly so in such a short time. It’s an ugly truth that most home businesses fail. Some people will do amazingly well, more will do adequately, but for a wide range of reasons many people just won’t succeed at all.

Not to mention, most are nearly impossible to cancel. They don’t want you to be able to cancel easily, after all.

These sites that call themselves “Google (something or other)” are almost exclusively scams. It takes time to take them down, but almost nothing to put one up, which is why they will likely continue to pop up under a variety of names.

Yes, they will give you some information on how to start a home business earning money through AdSense. But with the quality of information on the sales page, I have a lot of doubts as to the quality of the rest of it.

These sites are so common right now that Google has even seen fit to comment on it in the AdSense blog, noting that they aren’t associated and you don’t have to pay anyone to join AdSense.

There’s a fascinating and very long thread on Scam.com about a very, very similar offer. Make sure you read the last few pages as well as the early parts. Things were good for a while, with an employee making sure people got their refunds and then… kaBOOM!

All this is just a part of why you should never assume that because an opportunity uses Google’s name or any other big company’s name that it is in any way legitimate or associated with that company. It’s easy to get a domain name with some other company’s name in it. Doesn’t mean anything, other than that the company is willing to risk having their domain taken for trademark infringement.

These are also the kinds of “opportunities” that the FTC is most likely to be watching out for. Fake blogs, hugely exaggerated earnings… they’re practically begging for trouble. Nothing of what their sites say is remotely likely for the usual buyer, no matter how hard they try.

I’m not exactly what one would call a fitness buff or utterly crazed about fitting into a particular size. If I don’t get back into my pre-third-pregnancy clothes, so be it. I never did make it back into my pre-first-pregnancy clothes. Something about a change in hip size, a rather common issue, I believe.

Well that, and an extra 10 pounds at that point. More than that after this baby.

I really don’t stress much about my weight, though. I don’t even own a scale. If you want to quit obsessing about weight, keeping scales out of the house really helps. It makes it hard to obsess over a number you can only rarely see.

Having low energy because I’m out of shape, on the other hand, drives me nuts.

I’ve started trying to remember to exercise a bit more every day. I’ve always walked daily to my daughter’s school to pick her up, but a half mile total really only does so much for fitness.

Fortunately, babies make really cute exercise equipment.

I’ve always thought that one of the best things about postpartum exercise is that you can use the baby as a steadily increasing weight. Selene’s at the point now where she laughs just a little as I work out with her, which is motivation not only to work out but to take a break while working at home. 3 months old is a really cute age.

I can’t hold her for every exercise, of course. But when it works, it works.

Besides, she did this to me. Surely she should help me get fit again, right?

The worst for me has to be stomach muscles. It’s not just the 3 pregnancies. It’s the dratted two C-sections that I think really pulled a number on them. Everyone I’ve ever talked to about it says C-sections just make it that much worse. I can believe it.

I know I’m not doing badly. At the Mother’s Day picnic I heard a relative commenting on how thin I am for having had a third baby. She also noted that I’d always been thin, which is certainly true enough. Not thin like models are supposed to be (yuck!), but thin for regular people.

That kind of thing is why I do my best to keep this about being in decent shape, rather than worrying about the numbers. It’s better for me and I don’t doubt a better example in the long run for my kids, especially my daughters.

My daughter is so sweet. Like a lot of families, we’re cutting back this Christmas, and we have been very upfront with the kids about this. They may not really understand what all the money talk is, but they need to understand that some things need to be simplified.

But kids do so hate to hear that around Christmas time.

My daughter’s response to my husband telling her that this would be a simpler Christmas due to lack of money was “Don’t worry. Santa will take care of the rest.”

Too bad that doesn’t work.

I did tell my husband that there are some things “Santa” can do. There are some clothes the kids will need anyhow, and he can take credit for those. I want credit for the fun gifts to go where it belongs!

The simplification of Christmas in my family has gone pretty broad in its effects. It was agreed this year that even between families hand me down or thrift store finds were fair game. This is really helpful when there are so many cousins that can hand things down to one another.

Let’s face it, though. If things are tight for your family, spending a ton of money on Christmas just is not a smart move. It’s far smarter to take things easy financially and enjoy the meaning of the holiday and the time with your family.

Even Santa would agree, don’t you think?

For so many years, the gift card has been the gift of last resort… or sometimes first when you just want an easy solution. But they have disadvantages that are present every year… and potentially more than usual this year.

Gift Card Negatives

1. Companies going under.

If a company files for bankruptcy, they may or may not have to continue honoring their gift cards. It depends on what the court says. Once they close, of course, the card is no good anyhow.

You can try to get around this by only shopping with companies that aren’t currently having going out of business sales, but it’s hard to predict who will be next. The numbers are pretty scary.

2. Some states allow them to expire.

This isn’t allowed in California and several other states, but many states allow companies to put an expiration date on their gift card. Not fair when you think about it, since the company has your money in exchange for a little piece of plastic, but it’s something to be aware of.

3. Fees.

Depending on the rules of the state the card is purchased in, there can be fees as well. Fees for using the card, checking the balance, or even for failing to use the card over a certain time period. Sometimes there’s even a fee for the purchaser in order to activate the card.

4. They can limit options.

If you give someone a gift card, be very sure they can and do enjoy shopping at that particular store. There’s nothing like finding out you have a gift card for a company that doesn’t even exist in your city and doesn’t have an online option.

Then there’s the “sure I can get there, but I hate the selection” problem. Not everyone likes every store.

5. Some people aren’t sure how to handle the balance.

When the card gets down to just a couple of dollars, a lot of people don’t know how to finish it off. It’s easy, but many aren’t comfortable with it.

All you have to do in most stores is give it to the cashier first. They apply the balance to the purchase, then you pay the rest normally. However, many companies count on customers feeling a reluctance to do so, as they get to keep any unspent balances.

6. Some card balances are easily stolen.

Sometimes gift cards on display give away too much of their information. Thieves note this down, then check balances online regularly. When one appears, they spend it online. Make sure the cards you buy hide at least part of the information needed to activate and spend the card.

Gift Card Positives

1. You know the hobby, but not what’s needed.

A gift card can be a great, personal choice if you know someone’s hobby, but not what supplies they need. If you know where they shop, you can get a gift card to that store and they’ll probably be delighted.

2. Easy to send in the mail.

No outrageous shipping fees to send a gift card across the country. On the other hand, you do have to worry about theft. But checks face the same problem in the mail.

3. No waiting for recipient to cash your check.

There’s nothing like finding out that someone took two months or more to cash their holiday gift check. It can really mess up your personal bookkeeping.

4. You can give “experience” gifts.

Very nice when you don’t want to give things. Memberships work in some cases, but if they’re too expensive or unavailable, a gift card for it can work well.

Things to Know Before Buying a Gift Card

1. What state laws apply?

Can the card expire? What about fees?

2. What are the terms and conditions?

Some of these will contradict state law because the same card is sold in many states. You’ll still want to know, so you can figure out what applies.

3. What happens when the purchase is less than the card amount?

Many stores just leave the balance on the card, but a few will give cash back.

4. What happens if the purchase is more than the card amount?

Sometimes this is harder for the store to handle than other times. Some stores will want the gift card first, while others will want it second. If it’s too confusing, the card may be difficult to use.

5. How is the card registered?

This can protect you from gift card thieves who note the information on unsold cards, then try to use them before the legitimate purchaser. If too much of the card information is freely available before purchase, you may end up giving a worthless gift.

This year there are a lot of stores shutting down. That means lots of liquidation sales and great bargains, right?

Maybe. Then again, maybe not.

My mother called me the other evening about a story she’d seen on the news on the liquidation sale at one company going out of business. It seems that they just put higher prices on over the usual prices, so the discount really wasn’t as good as it seemed. The people from the news station easily peeled back the new tags to see the old prices.

In some ways this doesn’t surprise me. I worked for a company once when it was going through a liquidation. I can’t recall offhand if they changed the price tags, perhaps they did. They would have been more subtle about it, as it was as jewelry store and the tags were small. To change the prices they would have had to recall each piece back to the main office and retag. Can’t recall now if that happened or no.

But there’s another common thing that happens, and this I do remember well. More merchandise than the store usually carries is brought in. The liquidators do this because they buy up the inventories of the stores they are liquidating. Anything that doesn’t sell in one liquidation sale can be sent to another.

Obviously, this stuff is easy to mark up.

The best thing you can do before going to a liquidation sale is to check out the prices for the same items as seen online or in other local stores. This can quickly give you a feel for if the price has been raised to make it look like you’re getting a great discount.

Sometimes you are, sometimes you aren’t.

As with any other kind of bargain hunting, it’s up to you to know exactly what is and is not a good deal for you. Don’t get sucked in by the need to shop while there’s still a decent selection. You need to be saving enough to make shopping at a store that won’t be there if there’s a problem with the merchandise worthwhile.

The holiday shopping will be kicking into high gear very soon. But if your family is like many others, times are tighter than usual. But even if they aren’t, could this be a good time to simplify your Christmas gift giving?

My family has long kept our gift giving pretty simple. My sisters and I draw names to shop for, with definite budgets for everyone. It allows for smaller budgets all around. Even so, we’re looking at simplifying further yet as most of us are facing financial challenges of one sort or another.

Ways to Simplify While Still Giving Great Gifts

Visit Thrift Stores and Consignment Shops

A great gift doesn’t have to be new. It’s amazing sometimes what you can find at thrift and consignment shops. There may be a lot of stuff that is just too worn down to give as a gift, but other times you will find beautiful items to give.

This also allows you to be more creative. You probably aren’t going to find the latest and greatest anything at one of these stores, but you probably will find something you wouldn’t have thought to give otherwise.

Give Experiences

A family day out, tickets to movies or the theater, play time on a miniature golf course. You can make it memorable and avoid the clutter of unneeded stuff.

Agree to Skip the Adults

How often do you get frustrated with buying for the adults in your family because they don’t need anything? Talk it out and consider just giving to the kids instead.

Do Favors

My sisters and I have done things such as painted my mother’s house for her rather than buying gifts. It’s great to be able to help her get something done that was being put off.

Babysitting, painting, massages, house cleaning, organizing… follow your skills.

The beauty of simplifying is that it lets you focus on the real reasons why you are celebrating at this time of year. It’s not all about the gifts. It’s about the meaning your family puts into the holiday season, no matter which holiday you’re celebrating.

I’m not much of a coupon user – too disorganized and I know it. It’s a round and round kind of thing where I might be interested if I were more organized but I’m not organized so I’m not interested…

But for those of you who are more organized, have you tried the Couponizer? It’s a system that helps you to organize your coupons, keep you shopping list, keep track of your savings and so forth. It looks like a possible good investment for those who do enjoy using coupons… or maybe even a Christmas present for people you know who use a lot of coupons.

There’s even a consultant opportunity if you decide you really enjoy the system.

We’re still on a really tight budget here. There’s just so much to recover from after my husband was out of work for so long. I don’t exactly trust to the stability of his new job either, as it’s in the travel industry. Not exactly prime for this kind of economy.

One thing I do right now is to buy whole chicken, rather than just boneless or bone-in parts. The initial cooking can take a bit of extra effort, but the savings makes it well worthwhile. Sale prices on the whole chickens are less than sale prices on the various parts.

Thank goodness whole doesn’t include head or feet, though! Not quite ready to deal with that much.

One chicken means several meals. The first one is your basic roasted chicken. My favorite is a slow roasted variety that takes about 5 hours in the oven. Not something to do on a really hot day, even though the temperature is low. The chicken is rubbed all over with seasonings, stuffed with garlic and/or onions, and cooked at 250 degrees F. Comes out very tender.

The leftovers are currently sufficient for dinner a second night, although I don’t expect that trend to last much longer, as the kids are getting bigger. But they can also be used for lunches. Leftover chicken goes great in salads, for example.

Next comes the homemade chicken soup. I don’t necessarily make this right away; the leftovers go just fine in the freezer so I can save them for when the weather is right for chicken soup.

These meals come out to be very inexpensive. They also taste really great. The amount of chicken soup I make in each batch lasts for several meals, and my daughter has often enjoyed it in a Thermos at school. Sometimes I even freeze excess.

I came across an article today on CNN on living paycheck to paycheck. So far as I can see, the tips it gives are pretty typical. Give up the luxuries such as eating out or cutting back on transportation costs. Great ideas if you have those expenses, but what if you don’t?

I’ve written in the past on cutting back further yet when you’ve already cut your budget way back. Sometimes you face tough decisions when you’re trying to get by financially.

There are even more painful cuts you can make that sometimes come up necessary. I know how close my husband and I came to having to move in with his parents when he lost his job, for example. Moving in with someone else or taking on a roommate is a terrible cut to have to make, but sometimes it’s what you have to do. Thank goodness we scraped by.

I am of course a fan of finding ways to earn more money. That’s why I work from home, after all. It’s something you can do without giving up your current job. The start is tough but if you can stick it out, it may turn out to be very worthwhile.

If not, you’ve at least given it a try rather than insisting on being stuck in the same old rut.

There’s no one tip that will work for every situation. You may not be able to move in with family for one reason or another, for example. Or you may not have the space to rent to a roommate. You might even be unable to move to a more affordable place. That’s just reality.

But that doesn’t mean give up. “I can’t do it” isn’t a good enough excuse. Better is to try, even if you fail, even if you risk making things slightly worse. Don’t take so much risk working at home that you make things extremely much worse if you fail, but if you’ve only made things slightly worse by losing some time and money, you’ve still gained in experience. You might just succeed the next time.