When you really need to work, it can be enough to make you want to scream. What does it take to get a little peace and quiet to get your work done?

You could always tell them you’re going to play hide and go seek, and see how long they hide for, but that’s just asking for trouble when they figure out that you’re really trying to work. Although one of my nieces did keep hiding for a long time at a family gathering once, content so long as someone called out a number like they were counting once in a while. It was pretty funny.

But for regular use you’re going to have to come up with routines to minimize the times that they are demanding your attention, and find ways to keep them busy so that you can work.

Get the Kids Out of the House

Getting the kids safely out of the house is a favorite method of mine. The best is when they can go play at a friend’s house. It may be necessary to reciprocate and have the friend over at a later date, but that’s usually not a bad deal, as having friends over can keep your kids almost as willing to leave you alone as having them at the friend’s house.

If no friends are available, having them play in the front or backyard, as safe and appropriate, is a great choice. Your ability to do this depends on the ages of your children and where you live, naturally. Having a sandbox, swingset and other activities available is a big help when sending the kids out to play.

Is This Job Really Necessary This Minute?

Ir you’re stressing about it, possibly it is something you need to handle right away. But if it isn’t, calm down and take care of the kids for a little. Enjoy being a parent.

How Long Do You Need?

If the job won’t take long, or you can afford to take a break soon, set a timer. Short times are necessary with younger children, who certainly won’t understand that the job is going to take you only another hour or so. That’s long for little kids. A timer gives the kids something to look at to know that you will be available soon.

Who Else Can Handle the Kids?

If you aren’t home alone with the kids, who else can help with them? Your spouse? Can one of the older kids be responsible just for a little while?

When you’re working at home, teaching your family to respect your work hours is vital. If they don’t respect when you’re working they’re always going to be distracting you.

This is particularly important for spouses and partners. If they work outside the home, they get a set time where you probably aren’t contacting them much with problems with things going on at home. Ask the same of them and close your home office door.

Haul Out the Laptop

If you have a laptop, make the most of it! Pack it and the kids up and go to the playground, assuming they’re old enough to not need your help on the apparatus. They’ll burn off some energy and have fun while you keep a light eye on them. This only works if your kids are good about how they play. Otherwise, skip the laptop and just head to the playground. It’s amazing what a half hour can do.

You can also use your laptop to work in other rooms of the house. I’ve found this particularly useful with my kids, as I can be there to watch them play or do crafts, and talk to them, but still get a little bit of work done. My laptop has been quite the help in being more productive.

Declare a Quiet Reading Time

This is for kids old enough to read. Tell them they can sit down and read for a time. Don’t stress about which books they read, let them enjoy their favorites.

Get a Sitter

Whether you have a regular daycare provider available or have to call a babysitter, paying for help is sometimes the only way to be productive and fair to your children. Spend the money and try to earn more than it’s costing you.

A mother’s helper is a good option too. They don’t even need to be able to handle all the duties of a babysitter if they’re just good at playing with your kids and letting you know if there’s a real need for your presence.

Talk About Your Work While You Work

Kids love to know how their parents earn money. Show them what you’re doing. If there’s something they can help with, have them help.

Work Nights

It may not be fun to need to work nights, but if that’s what it takes to get things done without distractions, do it! I work more in the evenings after my kids are in bed than I do most days because that’s my quietest time… aside from any distractions my husband can cook up.

Nap times are useful also as long as they last, even if only one child is taking a nap. Declare it quiet play time for all other children or let them play on the computer or watch a show.

Eat as a Family

As much as possible, eat all your meals together. It’s a simple time to be together as a family and talk about what’s going on in everyone’s lives. This gives the kids some of the attention they need at a time you couldn’t work productively anyhow. No TV, no computers, no cell phones, no regular phones, no video games, etc.

Take Breaks

So many people who work at home don’t take enough breaks at all. Just think about how often you’d take a break in an office job.

Getting away from the computer at least once an hour is good for you. It lets your eyes adjust at different distances. It gives your arms, wrists and hands a break. It gives your mind a break. It gets your body moving.

Use your breaks to enjoy being with your kids.

Have Quick, Healthy Snacks Readily Available

My kids know what they’re allowed to have as snacks without having to ask for permission. This is a huge help. Best are chopped up vegetables and fresh fruits, but you can also have crackers and such available. Set up basic rules on snacking, and the “I’m hungry” complaints will be less of a problem.

Lots of Craft Supplies

Encourage your kids to be creative by having supplies ready for them. Better have a special place where they can make a mess, because spilled paints and other messes happen.

Let Them Use the Other Computer

If you have a second computer, let the kids go play. There are tons of great sites out there for children to enjoy. My kids like BellaSara (beware the card collecting habit this may induce!), Nick Jr., Playhouse Disney, Starfall, PBS Kids and Yahoo Kids.

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It doesn’t take a lot of time to yourself to feel better. Even a short break can work wonders at decreasing your stress level. You may not even need to leave the house to take a break… although getting out on your own feels really good!

1. Get enough sleep.

This is really hard if you have a baby who still wakes up in the night. You can’t always do anything about getting enough sleep. But try.

Don’t get caught up in making everything perfectly set up for the next morning. Prepare what must be ready before the next day, but make sure you’re giving appropriate responsibilities to your husband and to your children. Having things go smoothly in the morning helps them too!

2. Get some exercise.

This doesn’t have to be strenuous. A walk is a good excuse to get out of the house on your own, and is a nice, light form of exercise that fits in all budgets. Or you can take advantage of your gym membership if you have one.

3. Go do something you enjoy.

Once in a while, get out to do something on your own that you enjoy. Go to the spa, a movie, the library, get out with friends, just do something!

4. Read a book.

Take some time for that novel you’ve been meaning to read. A bit of time reading something you want to read just for pleasure is good for you and a good example for your kids.

5. Take a relaxing bath.

Add some bubbles to the water or your favorite bath bombs and just relax. Maybe give yourself a facial if that’s your style. This is easiest after the kids are in bed if you don’t want them pounding on the door. I make no promises as to the behavior of your husband. He’s your problem.

6. Work on your hobbies.

What do you like to do? Motherhood is no excuse to give up all of your hobbies, even if it limits the time you have available. You’re still a woman with interests outside of your beautiful, charming, fascinating children, and you should take time to indulge that side of yourself often.

7. Take a class.

You know how good it is for children to take classes on topics they love, why not do the same for yourself? Community colleges offer a good range, and most areas have a community center you can also find short class offerings for a wide range of interests.

8. Take some time with your husband.

If you’re married, making time for your husband is a part of making time for yourself. Who else makes you feel like he does? Go have fun together without the kids.

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This is something to discuss with your husband. You should have a plan agreed upon for the many issues that can happen to a family that relies upon a single income, such as the loss of a job, death or injury of either spouse. These aren’t fun things to think about but that means only that it’s all the more important to have a plan in place.

The stay at home mom or dad gives up a lot. It’s years of work lost, which has a major impact on one’s career. It’s less money for retirement. It’s falling behind in the field that you used to work in.

Stay at home parents should take the time to limit their financial vulnerability.

Stay at home parents should take the time to limit their financial vulnerability. It’s not all about finding a work at home job either, although that can help.

Continue Your Education

Keeping up with your field is important if you want to go back to work someday, especially if you worked in an industry that changes a lot. Take classes online, through a community college or technical school.

You don’t have to stick with whatever you have experience with, of course. You can use your time to study for the career you’ve always wanted.

Pick a course that will give you the flexibility to be there for your family. You don’t want your school time to take as much time away from your family as a career would if your goal was to raise your kids on your own.

Set Up a Retirement Account

Your long term well being is important to your family.

You don’t have to rely on an employer to have a retirement account. Include this as one of your needs when you’re a stay at home mom. Your long term well being is important to your family too.

This isn’t easy in many cases. It’s incredibly easy to neglect. Do your best.

Ideally this should be a part of your monthly budget. Have a certain part of your family’s income go into your retirement fund. Your spouse probably has one through work – don’t you deserve one too?

Start Working from Home

Yes, I said it’s not all about working from home, but we’re talking about not being financially vulnerable, not only for your own sake, but for the sake of your family. Even having a small home-based income is protection against bad times.

Even having a small home-based income is protection against bad times.

How dedicated you are to earning money from home depends on your needs. If your family needs the money now, you’re going to have to be very dedicated. If it’s more to keep your work skills up, you may not need to work so very hard at it.

Even if your at home income doesn’t equal what your family needs to get by, it’s going to be a help if times get rough. It’s something you may be able to build upon if your family suddenly needs that income.

If you’re planning on working outside the home as your children get older, take that into consideration when you work at home. Do things that will look good on your future resume.

If you’re planning on staying home longer than that, find something to do that you will love doing from home for the long run. Building a home business can be a lot of fun and you never know if it will take you somewhere.

With any luck at all, you’ll never need your financial backup plans. But wouldn’t you rather have them ready?

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This naturally leads to wanting to live a frugal life. But just what is a frugal lifestyle, and how important should it be to you?

Just what is a frugal lifestyle?

How Do You Define Frugal?

Everyone has a slightly different idea as to just what constitutes a frugal lifestyle. Most people don’t mean a lifestyle where they go to extremes, denying themselves all extras and most simple comforts in life. It’s also not about living as though you’re poor or completely broke.

A healthy frugal lifestyle will be comfortable for your family.

A healthy frugal lifestyle will be comfortable for your family. You shouldn’t feel completely deprived all the time. You should have different things that are priorities for you, such as preferring to take a family walk to spending $50 or more for a family night at the movie theater.

Frugal Isn’t the Same as Cheap

It’s easy to think of frugality and cheapness as the same thing. They do have similar motivations in some respects. But when you really look at them, they are not the same thing at all. I consider frugality to be more deliberate.

When you’re being cheap, quality isn’t a consideration, as a general rule. You buy the cheapest. You decline to spend money even where you should.

When you’re frugal, you’re making more deliberate decisions about how you will spend your money. Sometimes you’ll pay more for quality, because it will cost you less in the long run. You’ll have thought out your priorities.

Frugality for Stay at Home Moms

How frugal you need to be when you’re staying at home depends on the needs of your family and what your family’s income is like. Some will need to take extreme steps. For others, simpler steps will be enough.

The advantage you have is time.

The advantage you have is time. You have the time to do frugal basics such as cooking nearly all meals at home. You have the time to do coupon clipping. These simple frugal activites can make a big difference.

Whatever choices you make when it comes to living your frugal lifestyle, there are a few basics you should always include:

• Living within your means
• Bringing down any existing debt
• Limiting waste
• Knowing your priorities and sticking to them.

There’s no simple frugal path that leads to comfort with a change in your lifestyle. It’s quite likely that some of the changes you make will be a little uncomfortable for you at first. If they’re important enough to you, you will become comfortable with the changes in a short time. It’s much easier to be frugal if you don’t feel as though you’re denying a lot of wants.

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Mostly that’s due to having three young children. Kids just love to play, and that means messes happen. It just takes a moment to forget to ask that they clean up after themselves and the mess just increases from there.

Keeping the house clean is one of the challenges work at home moms deal with. They’re at home, and that means that right or wrong there’s this expectation that they have the time for housework too, and so their house should be nearly spotless. If only it were that simple!

I don’t keep a perfect house. Matter of fact sometimes the mess comes close to driving me crazy because no one cleans without me reminding them, or so it seems much of the time. But I do have some tips to keep things up at least somewhat respectably.

1. Don’t Stress the Mess

Some mess isn’t so bad. If the house is clean enough that you won’t be too embarrassed to let the kids have a friend over, it’s probably not that bad. Depending on how easily you embarrass about house clutter and chaos, that is.

So often my oldest has had a friend over and I’ll feel a bit bad about how the house looks, but their mom comments that her house is about the same or doesn’t say anything. That many people don’t keep a perfect house is something you can learn by visiting your children’s friend’s parents when the kids go to play.

You want things clean enough to be healthy and safe. That doesn’t take perfect, dust free surfaces and constant scrubbing.

2. Get the Kids Cleaning

Kids can start cleaning pretty young. My oldest two are regularly assigned to empty the dishwasher, clear the table, sweep and mop the kitchen floor, clean two of the bathrooms and their own rooms. Plus toy general pickup, of course. Laundry assistance will soon be added to the oldest’s list

It takes time to teach kids to do a new chore correctly, and it’s harder than doing it yourself. I often have to help them get the sweeping or mopping done correctly, but they improve over time and eventually they won’t need help at all.

All other adults living in the home should be helping to clean as well.

3. Quick Cleaning Spurts

You may not have time to really get into the details of cleaning your home every day, but you can probably spare 5-15 minutes here and there to get some work done. That’s time enough to load and unload the dishwasher. Time to sweep or vacuum one room. Time to pick up some clutter.

4. Declutter

One of the biggest sources of messy homes after children is clutter. If you have a lot of stuff, it’s harder to keep it all clean. Simple as that. Take some time and get rid of the stuff you don’t need, and organize the rest.

5. Decide If You Can Afford a Cleaning Service

A cleaning service can work wonders for getting all the cleaning done that is so hard to get to. You still have to have your house generally tidy for them, but they’ll take care of cleaning surfaces, sweeping, mopping, dusting, vacuuming, stuff like that. It can be really nice to have someone else scrub down your bathroom for you.

You don’t need to keep your home absolutely perfect. Most of us don’t manage that. Clean enough to be healthy, messy enough to be happy is more fun than perfection.

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1. The toddler chase.

Take toddler outside. Let him or her get a few steps ahead, then try to catch up.

This works particularly well with really adventurous toddlers. My youngest would gladly get 2-3 houses away from me, in the middle of the street, if I let her.

If your toddler isn’t a runner, it can at least be a nice walk.

2. Sit-ups.

Go ahead. Try to do a sit-up with a toddler around. You’ll probably get a toddler on your tummy. Too bad sit-ups don’t work too well that way.

But you can change up the exercise. Stay in the sit-up position, get that toddler on your shins and start lifting your legs. You will get a workout.

3. What’s in his/her mouth?

Be preoccupied for roughly 0.05 seconds. Realize toddler has put something in his or her mouth and is gagging on it. Remove it from toddlers tightly closed mouth.

4. Kitchen cabinet clear out.

Let toddler into your kitchen. Let him or her clear out the plastic container cabinet and any other cabinet that they can safely play in.

Put everything back as toddler clears out each cabinet over again when you walk off. Repeat.

5. Computer keyboard rescue.

Realize toddler has started pounding on your keyboard, starting random programs and doing things you didn’t realize were possible with just the keyboard.

Whisk toddler away. Spin toddler around in your arms to stop the tears.

6. Crayon on the walls scrub.

Leave just one crayon in reach. When you’re expecting company, discover that toddler has drawn all over the walls with the crayon. Start scrubbing, hoping that this was one of the washable crayons, not the regular sort.

Check to see if toddler also chewed the crayon up. You might be scrubbing the carpet too.

7. Toddler catch.

Discover just barely in time that your toddler can climb the furniture or stairs… sort of. Catch toddler before he or she hits the ground and really starts screaming. Repeat anywhere from daily to several times an hour until toddler gets bored with climbing, gets good at it or is finally ready for a nap.

8. Liquid soap slip-up.

Find out that toddler has used new climbing skills to reach liquid soap dispenser and has now fingerpainted the entire bathroom floor, walls, cabinet and counter. Please note that this exercise is best not done in the middle of the night.

As your toddler keeps you running, just remember that these times go by really fast. Don’t think of all the trouble as trouble. See it as one more way you’re being active.

And don’t worry. Not all of these have happened to me… yet. Selene, don’t get any ideas. Please?

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Some mothers may see the constant load of laundry coming from the dryer as just another everyday chore. A task that gets hard and harder, especially when balancing the needs of a screaming 10-month-old baby, a 7-year-old and a list of household chores beginning with a sink filled with dishes to wash, dinner to make and floors to clean. As if that were not enough, you have a husband who is ready to eat when he steps through the front door. But don’t let your mind play tricks on you. It is easy to feel overwhelmed unless tasks are broken down into manageable chucks and sometimes tasks are delegated. Try to fix child-friendly recipes and let the 7-seven-year-old help in the kitchen. Have your husband aid in clearing the dining room table.

Delegation Is Key To Success For Stay-At-Home Moms!

This will help you be able to accomplish tasks more quickly and let your child learn how to be responsible. Delegate some tasks. There is no reason why your husband cannot help change a diaper, help with your child’s homework assignment, take the baby awhile so you can have a few minutes of quiet or offer to help with the baby. Plus, delegation can have extra benefits. It can help strengthen a marriage. If your spouse comes home, eats dinner and plots down in the recliner to watch television and leaves you with dishes to wash, a son who needs help completing his homework assignment and a baby who needs feed every few hours, you are quickly going to succumb to exhaustion, be overwhelmed, depressed and constantly feel like a maid instead of a wife and stay-at-mother. Tasks must be split up so that one spouse isn’t doing 96 percent of the workload.

What Tasks Can Be Delegated?

Here are lists of tasks that may be delegated. Others can be added. Use imagination. This will help one discover what works for them, so they can restore order to their sometimes chaotic schedule.

• Washing the dishes
• Walking the dog (if you have a pet)
• Caring for the baby (even if it is for short intervals at a time a spouse can assist in this task or even a friend who doesn’t mind lending a helping hand)
• Making dinner
• Doing the grocery shopping
• Picking up around the house/dusting
• Vacuum the floors
• Sort and/or fold laundry
• Change the bed sheets
• Take out the garbage

You Can Make It Work!

Be realistic. There may be some items that you may not be able to afford on one salary. They may require your spouse to save up money longer. Are there still wrinkles in the freshly made bed? Does it matter? Be sure to delegate tasks. If delegating some tasks are not possible and you are feeling overwhelmed, ask for support. If your spouse isn’t willing to help in the tasks you need delegated, see if there are other friends or people around who can support you and help with certain tasks. If you are still feeling overwhelmed, confide in a friend you can trust or talk to a counselor. A counselor may be able to offer suggestions to help make everyday tasks less overwhelming, help deal with depression or loneliness and the task of staying home with children more enjoyable and rewarding.

Banish Those Regrets, Please!

Every few mothers would ever say “I wished I worked more when my children were little!” There may be days, yes, but very few mothers would trade getting to see their child’s smile every day, their first steps, or hearing their first word spoken - just to work outside the home. Don’t regret your decision to stay home. That time with your children cannot be replaced once it is gone. And, mothers with full-time jobs often see their children less than their daycare provider. In a 2003 study conducted by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development and another by the Institute of Child Development of the University of Minnesota, researchers found that children who spent all day in a daycare center were likely to be exposed to more stress and more aggression than children being cared for at home. This is because stay-at-home moms have the opportunity to supervise their child’s care in a nurturing relaxed environment.

Don’t Apologize, Mother!

Being a mother is a job. Don’t apologize for not having a business title, such as Customer Service Manager or Product Development System Researcher or Industrial Engineer. Being a mother is a job title and it is yours! Moms can benefit from avoiding the stress of having an unsatisfactory job. Plus, they get to spend time with their children and help shape their development and see the “firsts” that happen in their child’s life.

Make Time for Fun!

Sometimes mothers who spend hours each day with children can miss out on having adult interaction. In order to not feel overwhelmed or swamped by responsibilities at home, take time and make time for fun. Plan a night out once a month with your spouse. This will give you something fun to look forward to each month. If this keeps both partners from feeling like they have nothing in common, do it. This is to keep both spouses from feeling as though they hardly talk. It will also give stay-at-home moms an opportunity to have some adult interaction. This will ensure tasks keep running smoothly in a stay-at-home mom’s household and both spouses can enjoy a healthy balance between “mommy needs” and wifely wishes. If this requires a babysitter for a night, hire one. Don’t apologize for wanting to spend an evening alone and out with your sweetheart!

Your Family Will Benefit!

Children benefit from Mom’s decision to stay at home. Delegating tasks is crucial for stay-at-home moms to be successful. Make a list of what tasks can be delegated and be sure to delegate those tasks to others. Don’t ever regret your decision to become a stay-at-home mom and don’t apologize to others because you are “just” a stay-at-home mom and not a manager or CEO in the “real” world. Schedule some time in your day to do fun activities for yourself, your children and your spouse so that no one in the family is overwhelmed or stressed by all the tasks that simply need to be completed. Make time for fun! Realize the whole family can take advantage of Mom staying home!

About the Author:  Angela Lytle is a self-employed mother of four and publisher of Swim Team Mom, a website for swim parents that features swim team gear with competitive swimsuits and quality brands like the speedo speedo fastskin swimsuit and much more for your swimmer’s needs.

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How do you keep that budget under control?

I came across a book that could be very helpful. It’s called Miserly Moms: Living Well on Less in a Tough Economy.

As with just about any book on saving money, some of it will be common sense to you. Anyone can tell you to adjust the thermostat, shop sales and cut back on the grocery bills. That’s the easy stuff we all should know.

But there are also tips on saving on medical expenses, making cleaning supplies, freezer meals, cutting the money wasters in your life, understanding marketing tricks, teaching the kids to save and more. It’s a lot of great information for families that need to be a bit more frugal.

We’re already pretty frugal here, but I look forward to seeing if we can do better. Even with my business I’d like to be able to save more money. It’s a great lesson for the kids and a sensible financial decision.

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Maybe. Maybe not.

I’m not one to say all moms should be stay at home moms as long as kids are growing up. I’ll leave that to Dr. Laura. But I will encourage moms to really think about how long they should keep being at home.

There’s much to be said for continuing to be a stay at home mom even through the teen years, as I hope to do. Kids don’t need you in the same way when they’re teens as they did as babies and young children, but they do need you.

Being at home with them means that you have the chance to get to know all their friends. You get to know what they enjoy doing. You get to continue guiding them in their choices.

You can do all of that as a working mom, of course. It takes more effort, especially if your schedule isn’t cooperating, but it can be done. The stay at home mom simply has the simpler way to manage all of that.

Even so, there are a lot of factors to consider.

How Are You Feeling About Staying at Home Longer?

I’ve always said being a stay at home mom isn’t for everyone. Neither is being a long term stay at home mom. It’s a lot of work and despite how some feel, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do other things with your life as well.

A mom who is miserable staying at home may not be as good for her kids as one who is happy working outside the home. You don’t really want to be showing your kids that it’s okay for mom to be miserable in her lifestyle. I feel that you can still make your children a solid priority even if you aren’t a stay at home mom.

My own ideal is to keep doing interesting work while being at home with my kids. That’s why I have my own business, for example. I’m able to fulfill that ambitious part of me without giving up too much time with my family. How could I resist that?

My solution isn’t everyone’s solution, of course.

One of the wonderful things about kids getting older is that you can think about if you really need to be home all the time. When they’re in school, you certainly have the choice to do something other than wait for them to come home. It might be a hobby, it might be a part time job, it might be a business, it might be saying “wow, the house is quiet…” although you’ll probably get over that last one.

How Are the Finances?

Most families make a big financial sacrifice when a parent decides to stay at home. It’s not cheap. As the kids get older it might be time to rethink the finances and decide if the sacrifices are really worth it.

You still have the choices of a stay at home job or a home business, but if you’re doing one or both and not bringing in enough money, you may be considering something outside the home. Or you may be saying “I can finally get enough hours in now that the kids are in school!”

You should be paying attention to your finances even if you aren’t struggling, of course. You don’t need to be bringing in enough money to pay for huge family vacations every year, but you should be doing well enough that you don’t struggle with debt.

What About Your Retirement?

I think about this one a lot, as my income isn’t such that I can readily save for retirement. Being a stay at home mom means you’re probably not contributing significantly to your own retirement plan. Not a problem now, but in the future?

It’s much harder to save for retirement when you’re a stay at home mom. When you have a job, you can have money taken out for retirement before it ever hits your bank account. Saving as a stay at home mom means planning for it.

If you don’t have a way to save for retirement, start thinking about one. It’s never too early to get a start. You may need to talk to a financial professional.

Remember that you’re the one who will be most affected by how much you save for retirement.

How Will the Kids Feel About You Returning to Work?

You’ll naturally be concerned about how your kids feel about you returning to work. They’ll often be a little concerned, especially if you’ve always been there for them.

Sometimes you’ll have to return to work even if the kids don’t like the idea. If your family needs the money to get by, that’s the most important part. If you’re going back to work more for your own satisfaction, you can talk to your kids about that. Be honest with them. Kids love having happy parents.

Some children have more need of their parents than others. If there are genuine problems that mean you need to stay home, that’s a big factor to consider. There are times that it is necessary to sacrifice your personal goals. That’s not going to be true for many families, but if there’s more of a need for you to be home, don’t forget about it even as the kids get older.

Don’t be at all surprised if your feelings about whether you should continue on as a stay at home mom becomes mixed as your kids get older. That’s normal. There’s so much of an expectation that moms will go back to work that it’s hard to go another path. But if continuing to stay at home is right for you and your family, do it and be proud. If going back to work is the right choice, do it and be proud.

Keep doing what’s best for yourself and your family as a whole, and it’s probably going to be the right decision.

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1. Does Being a Stay at Home Mom Make a Difference to Your Kids?
2. Can Being a Stay at Home Mom Cost You Money?
3. Financial Hazards of Being a Stay at Home Mom

One is the dream of always being their for your child. Of handling all the needs of your family at home. Being there for every first. Helping your child learn. Making almost every meal at home and being praised as the perfect mom by your admiring family.

The other is the dream of your career. The work you may love, or the dream that you will someday work your way up to that dream job. Bringing home enough money that your family can have all its needs comfortably met, and enough wants fulfilled to really enjoy life.

How to choose between them? It’s not always a pleasant decision.

Consider Finances First

While not what you may want to be thinking about, your financial situation is vital to whether or not you can be a stay at home mom. Will your family have enough money to get by, or will such a decision leave it struggling?

There’s a lot to consider. What would your family’s financial position be without your income, without cutting costs? What sacrifices are you willing to make? Do you know for certain that you could find a way to work at home to bring in extra money if you needed to?

Don’t forget to consider costs that will automatically be cut if you stay at home. You probably won’t eat out as much. You’ll probably simplify your wardrobe. Your tax situation will change. You won’t be commuting, so your car will be driven less.

If your family can’t make enough cuts to make it on one income, you may be stuck for the time being continuing with your job. If considering other factors makes you desperate to stay at home you can continue to work outside the home while working hard to find a way to bring in an income from home.

Which Do You Really Want?

What you really want from your life is important. Will you really be happy without your career? Changing your identity to “your child’s mommy” is a big change, and not always an easy one. Does that idea bother you?

Of course, even working outside the home a part of your identity quickly changes to “your child’s mommy,” if not right away, then when your child gets older and starts making friends. But it can be harder when you’re a stay at home mom and don’t have an outside the home career to talk about.

On the other hand, you may want to be there all the time for your child, and not have to worry about how you’re going to manage to take time off work when your child needs you. This may be the thing you’ve dreamed about even more than a successful career. Being a stay at home mom may exactly suit what you want from life.

Being financially dependent on your husband isn’t for every mother either. It’s rough sometimes knowing that your family has one income. Never mind that theoretically it’s just as much yours as his. There’s a difference emotionally to a lot of people.

The Needs of Your Child

I’ve put this last, but certainly not least. Sometimes the needs of your child outweighs all other considerations.

For most children, so long as they’re in a good situation they can grow up to be happy, healthy, productive adults whether their mothers stayed at home or put them in daycare. Show your children that you care for them and love them, and your decision can be right either way.

But sometimes things aren’t that simple. There can be health issues creating problems. You can have trouble finding adequate daycare. Things can simply work out sometimes to where you have to find a way, any way, to have one parent stay at home, and most often the mother takes that job on.

Take Time on Your Decision

Deciding whether to work outside the home or be a stay at home mom isn’t something you have to decide overnight most of the time. Take some time. Figure out if it’s going to work for you. Don’t drive yourself crazy, but have reasons for your decision and understand that you may have regrets for whichever path you don’t take. That’s just a part of life.

And enjoy your family!

Related posts:

1. How Do You Talk About Being a Stay at Home Mom?
2. How Do You Decide Which Parent Stays at Home?
3. Are You Still a Stay at Home Mom if You Work Outside the Home at Night?