There are a lot of challenges to working at home. You have a lot to get accomplished in the day and many distractions. It’s easy to have very high expectations of what you will accomplish on a particular day, and it’s not always realistic.

Worse, you probably feel guilty at times for focusing on work rather than on keeping a clean house. You’re home and you may feel like it’s a part of your job to keep that house clean. Traditional duty of the stay at home parent (especially moms) and all that.

But being at home should not mean that it all falls onto your shoulders. You need to look at what the appropriate divisions are.

The struggle often comes from it being unclear how you should divide the work up. If you feel like you aren’t contributing because your home business isn’t bringing in much money yet, you’re going to feel bad if the hours you work keep you away from keeping a perfect house. Yet you can be working long hours trying your best to make it work, and simply not have the time or the energy to do it all yourself.

I know I’m good at giving myself a guilt trip every time the house is a mess and I feel that I’m too busy to clean it up. Sometimes I think feeling guilty is simpler than feeling good about what I’ve achieved. After all, I can always compare myself to people who are doing better.

Somehow it seems to be easier for most of us to compare ourselves to those who do better than to recognize what we have achieved. There are all the things we dream about accomplishing, after all. Looking at what others have managed to do as we struggle along is just the way things go.

One thing all families should do is figure out who will be responsible for what. Working in or out of the home shouldn’t matter so much as the fact that one is working. That’s not always the reality of people’s expectations, but it’s a nice goal.

Get your spouse involved. Get the kids involved. Don’t let all the housework fall on one pair of shoulders.

Figure out what you will do at which times. Housework that needs to be done can be scheduled just like anything in your home business.

How well all of this works can tell you a lot about how supportive your spouse is of your working at home. If you both work a similar number of hours, yet you’re at home and expected to do a significantly larger chunk of the housework, you may need to have a talk to make sure that what you do is being taken seriously. Sometimes it’s not. Other times it will just be that your spouse hasn’t quite realized how much work you’re doing.

And if you’re earning enough and feel so inclined, hire a maid service to come once a week or so to do some of the heavy duty cleaning for you. This can be really helpful. If you’re earning enough it will be well worth the money. Sometimes it’s worth it even if you aren’t earning that much but need a break from feeling like you need to get that housework done.

That’s right, male pattern blindness. It’s the only explanation I can come up with.

Don’t get me wrong. My husband’s wonderful. But if something doesn’t particularly interest him, he just won’t see it. On the other hand he’s a wonderful husband and excellent father.

Then there are times like this morning. He decided to go to the grocery store after taking our son to speech therapy. I mentioned he’s a good husband and father, right? He wanted to get a couple things there and I told him we were out of milk.

He couldn’t find the milk I usually get, which has a discount if you buy two gallons. He’s quite certain it wasn’t there, even though I’ve shown him it before, and it’s always in the same place. But hey, he bought milk, so the complaint is minimal.

He also decided to clean the kitchen today. Well, more precisely he loaded the dishwasher. I don’t think he has wiped down the countertops ever without being asked. Honestly. Not once.

Yes, I know it can be impressive that he sees the dishes in the sink, since some don’t even do that much. My tactic is simple. I let them pile up. Eventually he will want to use the sink, realize he can’t, and voila! I have a dishwasher being loaded by my husband.

I try not to let things get that bad too often. It’s not a situation I like. Good thing I know how to ask him to help out too.

I think he does better than average in some areas. He doesn’t too often ask me where something is when it’s right where it belongs, where it always is. But then it’s generally something he wants.

If it doesn’t particularly interest him, on comes the blindness! It ensures that I do most of the shopping so I know we’ll have enough food (and that it’s healthy!) and handle most of the cleaning unless I ask otherwise or company’s coming. Dirt and clutter are all but invisible any other time.

We’re fortunate in that I’ve always been good at finding things. It probably helps that I look behind and under stuff as necessary. If neither of us can find it, well, it’s time to blame the house gnomes.

As of yet, there is no cure for male pattern blindness, but any researchers out there would have the encouragement of millions of wives.