As grownups, we pretty much all know that what ads say isn’t always the precise truth. They always put the products in the best possible light.

Kids don’t think that way, of course. Just look at how many struggle with the idea that cartoons aren’t real. Think there’s any chance that they understand yet that commercials aren’t 100% true?

You’re going to have to teach them.

There’s nothing like having a preschooler point out inaccuracies in advertising.

This can be done starting at a pretty early age, and it’s a lot of fun once you start seeing results. There’s nothing like having a preschooler point out inaccuracies in advertising.

Explain Advertising to Them

Start out by explaining what ads are to them, and why companies advertise. It really helps if they understand why they’re seeing ads.

Use individual ads as examples. When the kids are really enthusiastic about a product ad they’ve just seen, ask them why. See if they understand how the ad gained their interest. Talk about how the ads are making them feel and whether the actual item will make them feel that way. Ask if they really think the product will do exactly as claimed. Ask if similar products can probably do the exact same thing.

This is easiest with toys, and can be very effective if they happen to have a few toys that they had seen advertised and were then disappointed in, or if the toy quickly lost their interest. Go over how the toy was advertised, and compare it to the real thing. You can also compare it to toys your kids already own.

Build Their Language Skills

You know how devious promotional language can be. It’s usually true, but a truth stretched as far as the advertisers dared, and then exaggerated. Helping your kids to spot how this is done is not only good for their ability to understand advertising, it’s great for their vocabulary.

Don’t be surprised if the kids start to treat advertising as lying. It’s a pretty natural step. You can decide how to explain the difference between lying and what most ads do.

Be Aware of Product Placements

It’s not just ads during the commercial breaks you need to discuss. It’s the placement of products within the shows themselves.

It’s not just ads during the commercial breaks you need to discuss.

This isn’t much of a problem during most cartoons, except in the sense that an awful lot of cartoons are all about selling the toys. But in other kinds of shows, you’ll see strategically placed and used products throughout the show.

Talk about why their favorite characters are drinking a particular soda. Talk about the other brands that are clearly shown on camera. Explain that this is also a form of advertising, and the preferences shown on television have little to nothing to do with real life.

Discuss Alternatives

It’s helpful to remind kids that they don’t need everything they see advertised on television. There are a lot of better choices for them out there.

It’s helpful to remind kids that they don’t need everything they see advertised on television.

It could be something you already own. It could be a similar product you already prefer. It could be a discussion on why you don’t need everything you see advertised. It could be a discussion on the cost of the product and why you don’t need to spend the money.

Ads try to make it seem so much like everything is needed, so teaching your kids that they don’t need it all is important.

Have Them Make Their Own Live “Ads”

Once the kids are starting to understand advertising, have them try making up their own, right in front of you. Give them something simple and tell them to sell it to you, any way they can.

This encourages them to think about what goes into an ad and product claims. With most kids, it’s also pretty funny, as they’re great at coming up with wild ideas.

The pressures on moms to be perfect is just amazing. It doesn’t matter what you do, someone will say you’re doing it disastrously wrong. Maybe that’s why it’s such a habit for many moms to gloss over the problems they deal with and try to show a public face of being a really happy mom who can calmly cope with anything life and her kids throw at her.

Even tantrums and finding time for a shower.

I’ll admit some days are easier than others to be a stay at home mom. Keeping my sanity the day after the baby has cut a tooth and was up all night can get interesting. Especially if my feet find the LEGOS on the floor too early in the morning.

There are two key things for moms to remember. Number one is don’t try to be perfect. You aren’t. You don’t want to be.

Number two is to ignore all the people who criticize your little imperfections. They’re not as bad as some people say they are. It’s really not going to make your kids fat and lazy if you sometimes give in and let them have fast food or watch an excess of television.

There’s this little thing called moderation that really means you can get away with so much more than you thought possible. Moderation is a great thing to remind yourself of when you’re feeling bad about your parenting skills. When you’re letting the kids do things that other parents would tell you are unhealthy, will lead to bad habits, whatever, just remember that many things that should not be done habitually are just fine in moderation.

If that doesn’t cover it, try remembering to not sweat the small stuff. Lots of things can be called small stuff if you think far enough ahead.

Never, ever, feel bad for saying you need a break from your kids. You may have this goal of being the perfect stay at home mom who loves every minute, but you need your breaks. We all do. That’s why people who work outside the home get regular 15 minute breaks and a lunch break.

Breaks are a chance to clear your head and relax a little. They’re a bit harder to get for stay at home moms, but you can take breaks and you deserve them.

Get out a little in the evenings or weekends without the kids and without running errands. Do your own thing for just a little while.

Needing time for yourself doesn’t make you a bad mother. Taking time for yourself  can help you to be a better one, in fact.

And if you make a mistake with your kids, don’t be afraid to admit to it. We all make mistakes. You’re a better example for your children if they see that you can not only make mistakes but admit to them.

Forget perfection. Stop trying to be the mom who follows all the rules in whatever parenting style you prefer. Just do the best you can, be yourself and enjoy the ride.

One of the troubles with being a stay at home mom is that you don’t earn any money for what you’re doing. If you need an income while you stay at home you have to find a work at home job or a home business to start, and that takes away from your time being a mom. That’s not a bad thing, just that you’ll have more things to balance in your life.

But just because you aren’t earning money doesn’t mean that you aren’t getting something in return.

No, I don’t mean frustration, although parenthood in general brings frustration with it quite often. It’s not an easy job, no matter whether you work outside the home or stay at home and focus entirely on what your family needs. Most kids are far from being perfect angels all the time.

In many ways the pay a stay at home mom gets is the same one all mothers get – the love and affection their children can bestow. The stay at home mom is just a bit luckier in that she has more time for it to happen.

It can’t be taxed. It can’t be spent. But you can save those earnings in your heart.

The love you earn from your family is what helps you get through the hard times, when the children aren’t listening, when you feel unappreciated, when things just aren’t going right. A quick hug and a kiss can make a lot of problems fade away. The problems may come back, but you’ll have a reminder of why it’s all worth it.

That doesn’t mean that staying at home isn’t an adjustment from working. It is. The kind of feedback you get is entirely different.

In either case people will probably feel freer to tell you that you’ve messed up than you’ve done a great job, though!

Teach yourself to see the feedback you get as a stay at home mom and teach your family to give it. If you want your children to show you gratitude, show it to them and tell them when they need to express it. If you want affection, give affection. Children are amazing mimics, so the more positive things you show them, the more you will get in return.

It’s both frustrating and fascinating. Frustrating because you will see all your little bad habits being echoed. Fascinating because you’ll see all the good too. If you want to earn the most affection from your kids, show them lots of it. It’ll pay you back most times.

And yes, there are times when kids try to hide what they feel. They go through phases where showing their parents affection is an awkward thing. But just watch them and you’ll know you still matter.

Being a stay at home mom, whether you work at home or have the raising your family as your only job is hard. A lot of people really won’t show you much appreciation, and there’s always someone to criticize your decision.

The same can be said for moms who work outside the home, of course.

Being told that your kids would be just fine if you put them in daycare is tough to hear, of course, and isn’t always true. So much depends on the quality of daycare that is available to you.

So what difference can you make to your family as a stay at home mom?

Money

The money issue can go both ways. Yes, many families have to cut back due to having just one income. It’s a big risk. You’re also likely limiting your retirement income if you aren’t working and saving for your retirement while you’re home with the kids.

On the other hand, daycare can be miserably expensive. Sometimes, by the time you take out the cost of daycare, the cost of commuting, cost of wardrobe, taxes and so forth, you’re actually saving money by not having a second income.

Which way your being at home impacts your family’s finances really depends on your likely income potential. If you know you’d be losing money by working outside the home, those naysayers have nothing to complain about!

There’s a risk to being a single income family, of course. That’s if layoffs come about. Losing one income is painful no matter whether one or both parents work, but if it’s the only income the situation may be a lot worse.

That’s a part of why I always recommend stay at home moms consider some form of working at home. It can be a job or a home business, but have some way to bring in a little money. Save it for retirement if you don’t really need it at the moment. But keep those skills up while doing something you love when you’re at home. You may not need to work now, but there are no guarantees for the future.

Your Relationship with Your Children

How you relate to your children can be different depending on whether you’re home all day with them or gone at a job. Either one can cause problems or make things better, depending on personal needs and personalities.

A mother who doesn’t want to stay at home, for example, probably shouldn’t. A miserable stay at home mom is going to have a harder time doing her best for her family.

What really matters is that you have ways to be there for your children when they need you. That goes for both mothers and fathers, regardless of where and if they work.

And of course some children need their parents more. This is especially true for younger children, although the option isn’t always there if the mother’s income is needed. As always, doing the best you can is generally good enough for your family. Perfection isn’t required.

Sad to say, an overprotective stay at home mom who never lets her kids do anything is going to cause as many problems for the working outside the home mom who is never there for her kids. Both are extremes; your typical stay at home mom isn’t excessively overprotective and your typical working outside the home mom will do everything she can to be there for her kids.

More Time for Activities

Stay at home moms do have a big advantage over working moms in being able to sign their kids up for whatever activities they’re interested in. It’s just easier to get them to the activities, whether it be sports, an art class, whatever.

Working moms can do it, but they have to be pickier about schedules.

Housekeeping

Yes, we all have to handle it. Working moms have more limited time for housekeeping, but stay at home moms have messes generated all day in their homes. Either way it can really add up.

In both cases, get the kids involved at age appropriate levels. Little kids love to help; older kids need to know how to do housework for their own good later in life as well as just having responsibilities now.

Don’t Let the Guilt Get You Down

All moms feel guilt. It’s just one of those things. No matter what we do there’s someone there to tell us we’re doing it wrong.

That’s okay. Remember that your own parents weren’t perfect. Hopefully their worst mistakes were forgivable and already forgiven. Do your best and your kids will hopefully do the same for you.

I’ll be the first to admit it. Sometimes having a family makes it really hard to succeed, especially with small children in the equation. I’ve had to slow down this year quite a bit more than I liked because my youngest is quite the demanding baby. Taking care of her needs, the needs of my other children, spending time with my husband and even sometimes pretending to keep a clean house takes a way a lot of my possible working time.

And yet they’re also the reason I do all of this.

I talk to my older kids a lot about why I do what I do, and especially why I’m sometimes very busy. It’s not always something they want to hear, but they need to know it even when they don’t understand.

But when things are really getting rough it’s wonderful to remember why I keep up the fight to have a successful home business, rather than work outside the home and pay hideous amounts of money out for daycare.

Sure they make it harder. That’s a part of having a family. But such a wonderful obstacle.

I don’t like to call it overcoming an obstacle when it comes to dealing with my family’s needs. Somehow that just feels wrong. It’s really more learning how to work with the obstacle and succeed with it right there.

Ideally having fun with it whenever possible.

That’s why I carry a notebook in my purse, for example. I can be out and about and still have a way to write down ideas.

Some of the things that eat up my time I do my best to use in productive ways. My son has speech therapy once a week. Since I don’t have to sit in the class and it’s an hour long, I use the time to run errands. It’s nice to not have my errands eating into time I could be using in other ways, and for strictly local errands the amount of time is just about perfect. That changes the time it takes to get him to and from therapy from unproductive time to well used time most weeks.

Family can also be inspiring. I wouldn’t be writing this post if I weren’t thinking of them as I write it.

Family also gives me that extra push to really work hard. Just thinking about how much having a commute would take away from the time I can have with my family (shudder)! They may be demanding of my time at times, but what better way to be?

And of course much of it all is about trying to give my family the lifestyle I want us to have. Nothing fancy, just three vacation homes, a 10,000 square foot home, a yacht, eight winning lottery tickets, adoring fans… wait, wrong dream.

Seriously, while there’s the home ownership dream and the wish for a more comfortable lifestyle, it’s not all about the money or the things. It’s also about being able to be there for my family. Having them may make it more challenging to reach my goals, but they also mean that reaching for my goals as well as achieving them is more satisfactory.

You can’t forget that part. Even when you’re trying to work and the kids want your immediate attention and the baby’s pounding away on the keyboard while you try to type, you cannot forget that you’re trying to succeed for them.