What a miserable economy for my husband to be unemployed in! At least they finally conceded that it’s likely a recession. As my neighbor said, most of us could have long since told them that. But then, San Diego unemployment is worse than the national average right now, so we’re feeling it worse than many, I guess.

I finally talked my husband into talking to some temp agencies. I’ve been telling him to do that for a while, and I think he finally has the idea. Temp jobs can be essentially long job interviews, after all, and certainly a way to build some skills and experience outside the retail sector for him.

Now that the family is healthy again, I’m playing catch-up with all the things I had wanted to get done to build things up business-wise. It’s rough, especially since it is a distraction having my husband at home. I really do not work as well when there’s someone able to read what I write as I write it.

And of course the kids still need Mommy to do things for them much more than Daddy. Just habits. I can deal with that, even when it gets frustrating.

I do have a lot of plans for the ‘what ifs’, such as if we do have to move in with my inlaws. I’m figuring on homeschooling for the rest of my daughter’s kindergarten year; she’d end up being the new kid the rest of the year if she transferred, not to mention the possibility of moving again for a new job. Besides, you don’t have to register here to homeschool kindergarten; school registration is not required until first grade.

But I also want to have her birthday party at the park by her current school. Make it easier to invite her current friends, who she will no doubt be missing by then.

I really, really hope none of these plans will necessary. I’d rather my husband get a job and we stay put. But why wait to the last minute to decide?

Whether you’ve been a stay at home mom for a while or are just starting out, this is one of those questions that can really hit you hard. Going down to a single income as a family is quite a tough choice in most cases. And in the current uncertain economy it can be even easier to feel guilty about not contributing to the family’s finances.

Directly, that is. As in earning money.

Indirectly, there’s plenty a stay at home mom can do. She is often the one to handle all the shopping and keeping track of all the bills. If you don’t think that has an impact on the family finances, think again.

Your first consideration is always how the family will manage to get by with one income rather than two. Sometimes the answer is quite surprising. Depending on what you earn, by the time taxes and the costs of wardrobe, eating out, childcare and so forth come out, you aren’t bringing that much home. Sometimes it can easily be made up for; other times it will take more planning.

If having one parent stay at home is going to be a huge sacrifice for your family, take a look at what can be cut. Don’t start with the grocery bill. Just because you have to buy food every week doesn’t mean it’s the most important bill.

Instead, start with your regular bills and figure out what can be cut. Cutting your cable plan down to basic can save you a nice chunk of money every month, and you probably won’t even miss most of the channels you drop. Decide if you really need both a landline telephone and a cell phone. Then decide if one or the other should be dropped.

Cutting those monthly expenses makes a lot of sense. It’s savings you won’t have to think about every time you go shopping.

But the biggest savings of all can be in paying down credit card debt.

Credit card debt, as a rule, is expensive. Much worse than paying for a mortgage. If you can get it paid down, your budget will have far more leeway, and that’s vital if you have only one income coming in.

You should also take some time to think about the things you spend money on, but really shouldn’t. A lot of people, for example, get new cell phones regularly, even though the old one is perfectly good. Same goes for televisions when they decide it’s time for a big screen unit. The list goes on and the numbers add up.

Get those other expenses in control as well as thinking about how you spend money at the grocery store. The broader your efforts the more you will save.

But What If You Want to Earn Money?

Of course, there’s nothing saying you absolutely cannot earn money as a stay at home mom. Many do, and despite how it can seem at times, not all work at home opportunities are scams. It’s just that there are so many scams out there it’s easy to get caught by one.

The trick to working at home is balancing that with the reasons you choose to be a stay at home mom in the first place. That is, as a rule, the kids.

I won’t lie to you. Working at home is tough, and sometimes it does limit what you can do. But what you don’t want is something that takes you from them every bit as much as working outside the home does. Kind of takes away the point of being a stay at home mom, after all.

Look for flexibility, and look for something you can love doing. Those two elements are key.

There are many factors to consider when looking at work at home opportunities. Job or business. How much do you want to be dealing with other people? Face to face, over the phone or over the internet?

Handling the “What Ifs”

There are a lot of what ifs that you should face if you want to be a stay at home mom. The biggest one is “What if the situation changes?”

“What if your husband loses his job?”

“What if the two of you separate or divorce?”

“What if a medical issue comes up?”

You do need to have a backup plan in case anything happens. Obviously you hope that none do, but life happens. Better to plan ahead than to be caught unawares.

This means keeping up your own job skills, whether or not you work at home. Having savings. Talking about how potential problems will be handled. Not panicking if something does happen.

You may never need your backup plans. But if you do, you will be very grateful to have some idea what to do to keep your family going. The middle of a crisis is a rotten time to have to figure all this out.

Being a stay at home mom has its own challenges. Just due to personality differences it’s not for everyone. But many learn to love it, and soon have trouble imagining doing anything else.