You get to feeling like an old hand at these things on a third pregnancy. Been there, done that.

Except for all the little things that are just a bit different every time.

This time around I had most everything I needed to be pregnant without buying much at all. Except maternity pants of any sort and nursing bras, each of those having aged rather badly during past pregnancies.

Maternity Pants

Does the fashion have to have them cut so low?

Most ways this didn’t bother me at first. Maternity shirts are generally long enough that the height of the pants really didn’t matter.

Until my stomach got big enough that the wide elastic started rolling down. And until winter hit, and anything not long enough as a shirt or sweater, or just too loose meant cold air along my stomach.

I now really and truly loathe low cut maternity jeans. They were less comfortable than the ones that always covered my stomach, yet really don’t look all that different. All that ugly fabric should be covered by a maternity top anyhow.

And to make things worse, they are amazingly uncomfortable after a C-section, when regular clothes still don’t fit. That low riding elastic is rough on the incision when it’s healing. I’ve had to resort to my husband’s sweat pants and my Ren Faire elastic waisted skirt to be even slightly comfortable.

Nursing and Maternity Bras

These things are just miserable to shop for. Generally unattractive, and just to be different from maternity tops, they’re often designed to cover rather a lot. Why is this when so many maternity tops seem to take advantage of the more generous cleavage of most pregnant women? It’s kind of a contradiction to be stuck with bras that mostly show up under such tops.

Don’t get me started on the constant presence of underwire when you’re strongly encouraged to avoid underwire when breastfeeding, so as to avoid mastitis. It took some searching for me to get around that one with nursing bras. It’s hard to get good support without that underwire, making things even more challenging.

And whatever you do, don’t get me started on cost of maternity clothes in general. I am so glad that I saved most of my maternity wear from past pregnancies. Saved me a lot of money I’d rather use on clothes that I can keep wearing for years.

She’s now about a week and a half old, so I figured it was time to post about her birth. For some reason I’ve been too tired to do it before now.

Selene was born on January 30 by C-section. I had an OB appointment that morning, and my doctor did a dilation check on me. 3 cm dilated at that point, but she realized she was feeling something soft and round at my cervix, rather than hard and round.

Yes, breech.

Fortunately, unlike her big brother, she had plenty of fluid around her. That kept things from needing to be done in too much of a rush. On the other hand, 3 cm dilated meant I could go into full labor at any time.

My OB asked when I had last eaten, and scheduled me for a 7:30 p.m. C-section that evening. Got a warning to not eat or drink anything until then. Ugh! I’d only had a small breakfast.

She told me to go in one hour early, and to do some exercises to try to turn the baby. Only trouble is that most take days to work, and we had hours. But we tried our best in the hopes of having a VBAC rather than C-section. We sent the kids to my mother’s

No such luck. Another ultrasound was done at the hospital and she was still breech. But since I’d rather baby and I be safe than go with a particular birth plan, I went with the C-section. Aren’t many doctors willing to do a breech delivery these days and I would want someone experienced in that if I were to risk it.

Almost forgot. We got a call from the hospital at 5:30, asking where we were. Seems the OB got the schedule wrong. She delivers at 3 hospitals in the area, so I can see how that would happen. They wanted me in two hours early, not one. Good thing the kids had already been sent off to my mother’s house!

Still, everything went smoothly at the hospital and I was ready for surgery on time, much to the relief of the various employees. My husband and I did get a smile out of being told that our anesthesiologist would be Dr. Who (actually spelled Hu, but when you hear it and need a little humor, the other sounds better).

Now this next part may gross some people out, but I found it fascinating. Due to the positioning of one of the lights, I could see a reflection of everything that was going on. I didn’t watch the whole thing, and made sure to not tell the doctors so they wouldn’t move the light. That way I got to see Selene being born. The epidural allowed me to treat the rest of what I could see as more abstract, but getting that immediate glimpse of my daughter was worth it to me.

Didn’t pay much attention to the reflection the rest of the time. Blood doesn’t bother me that much, but I didn’t feel a need to see all that once I had seen my new daughter.

Selene was very small at birth for a full term baby. As my OB put it the next day, if she just would have flipped, she practically would have fallen out. My first daughter was 8 lb 10 oz, after all, while Selene was a mere 5 lb 9.7 oz. Just barely above what is considered to be a low birth weight baby. She was 18.5 inches long.

For all that she’s small, she is one alert baby! Took to nursing right off the bat and aware of the world around her.

She’s also my first good sleeper. Up just once a night most nights. With my other two I had to wait until they were 6 months or even a year old for that.

She’s very healthy too. Before her first week was up she had regained most of her birth weight despite losing nearly 10% at first. What can I say except she and I work well together?

Yes, I’m still tired. Still having some pain from the C-section despite wonderful help from family members. I’ve rarely been alone this entire time, and when I have been alone, it’s been because someone took the older kids off for an activity so I could just be with Selene and rest.

I’m starting to work a bit more now, but trying to take it easy yet these first few weeks. I’ll get back to normal as I heal, but since I’d like to get things right the first time and not have long term issues, I won’t be overdoing.

Can you believe Selene slept through this entire blog post? Me neither! I figured I would end up holding her at some point as I typed this!

Pregnancy is always an interesting time to work at home. The impact on my willingness to work some days has been tremendous – in both directions. The really interesting part has been how low energy overall has not always meant that I’d be reluctant to work on my sites.

Late in the pregnancy I think it actually increased motivation. There’s nothing like realizing you will need time off after having a baby to realize you need to get a lot of things done in advance.

Early in my pregnancy, I had my husband’s job loss to motivate me. Suddenly becoming the only one working while my husband was on unemployment was quite the nudge. And we coped. Somehow, things just worked out. Not by much, and we’re still dealing with the financial impact, but we coped.

Mid pregnancy, he was working again. Not the best of jobs, but in this economy, enough to be grateful for. I still don’t understand how it was my website income slipped just one week before he started the job, but that was how it happened. Things perked up  when we most needed it, then vanished after.

For a time, so did my drive to work extra hard. My husband was working again, and I was tired from the extra hours I’d had to put in while he was unemployed. If my income had dropped at the same time as my productivity, I’d think I had something there, but income dropped first. Online work is full of odd changes at times.

It was in January that it hit me that I could start writing for both January and February, and take a month off, more or less, after the birth. I’ve worked hard towards that goal, and settled on focusing on just two of my blogs.

The decision to cut back was, I think, a smart one. I’ve managed to put a lot of good effort into growing both, doing things that I hadn’t been before. Sometimes cutting back on business is one of the best moves you can make.

It’s a fresh perspective on the ones I’m working on. It’s a vacation from sites I wasn’t enjoying quite so much. It’s a chance to build their traffic and quality, specifically.

Of course, all this comes with challenges. This pregnancy has gone generally smoother than my last one. But my son has become exceptionally clingy. I can’t say that I blame him. With everything we went through with him – C-section and then craniosynostosis surgery at 3 months old – there’s a lot of bonding there. Having me distracted by another pregnancy and working hard on my business has not been an easy thing for him.

Having a daughter in first grade, rather than just at home with me has also been interesting. The plus has been having to walk to school to get her, ensuring that I exercise regularly. The tough part has been dealing with her feelings on everything that’s been happening. She’s happy but worried about what will happen, of course. Hard on me, hard on her teacher.

The big thing I’ve been taking from this has been just how much I can get done if I really put my mind to it, both personally and professionally. If I can get more things done while dealing with two kids and all the little issues of pregnancy, I can do it even after the baby comes.

After some rest. Recovering physically matters too.

Here I am, 38 weeks pregnant and really, really ready to go whenever this baby girl of mine decides to make her move. So what am I doing online?

Getting things ready to run smoothly while I’m busy, of course!

My husband jokes that I nest online. It’s true enough.

It amazes me that I’ve managed to get so much writing done in these past few weeks. If I’m lucky, I’ll have things pretty well done through February, and be able to just work lightly when I feel rested enough after baby comes. It’s a really nice feeling. But I’m not that far ahead yet.

Of course, I’m leaving room for those times that I want to make a more time sensitive post. Most of what I’ve written lately I could post any time of the year and it would work just fine.

I like that because it means that if I want to blog more for some reason, I can just move things around. Or not. Nothing wrong with multiple posts on a particular day, even if that’s something I rarely do.

This is also a lesson in just how much can be achieved in more normal times. If I were this productive normally, I’d probably be earning more. That’s quite a thought.

I’ve had some delays in my work, of course. Lots of heavy duty Braxton Hicks contractions one night meant I was just plain too tired the next day to get much done. That’s how it is when you’re pregnant. Sometimes your body makes it clear that a day off is the smarter choice.

But I’m thinking right now that it’s probably a good thing I don’t have a laptop, much as I want one. It would be fun to have in the hospital, but could I really trust myself to not overdo it? I don’t know. Free Wi-Fi….

Nah. I know how tired I get after childbirth. I don’t really think I’d be that tempted to work. But I’d sure hate to find out that I was wrong. Do you think the nurses would get mad if they came in for their middle of the night blood pressure check and caught me working?

The closer I get to giving birth, the more I loathe doing housework. As any pregnant mother knows, that tummy can really get in the way. These are some of the worst for me:

1. Laundry.

It’s actually hard sometimes to reach the bottom of the washing machine to get all of the clothes out. Then there’s digging all the way into the dryer to get them out after they’ve dried. I actually found it easier when the weather was warmer to just hang clothes outside.

2. Scrubbing anything.

OK, so this was an unfavorite before I got pregnant too. I just don’t like scrubbing bathtubs, dirty dishes, floors or anything.

3. Picking things up off the floor.

Of course, I hate having things on the floor that don’t belong there even more. Too easy to trip. But as with the laundry, this whole bending over thing really doesn’t feel so good anymore.

That’s what my husband calls it. He’s quite aware of how much extra time I’m putting into getting my sites ready to handle themselves when this baby is born and about a month after, ideally.

It makes sense to me. I don’t nest much in real life. No crazed cleaning of the house, scrubbing areas I’d leave alone normally, etc. I still loathe housecleaning, no matter how far pregnant I get.

I also don’t spend much time on a nursery. I told my husband where I want the cradle, and we’ve figured out where the crib will go when she’s big enough for that. There. Done setting up things for baby.

Aside from the basic childproofing for each stage. But that comes later anyhow.

But I do this every time online. I start going nuts over my business, getting things organized.

I guess that says a lot about my focus. It’s not on the home. It’s on business.

Housework for me is the minimum to keep things sane and sanitary for my family. Sometimes a little more under control, sometimes less.

I’d rather make time for playing with my kids than cleaning with them. Too bad that isn’t a form of nesting. It sounds fun. Excessive play…

THAT is my belly button. It is not an exit, nor will it be one at any time in the future. Pushing on it will not help you get out.

THOSE are my lungs. I need them to breathe. Kicking them day and night may be entertaining, but they will keep getting in your way. They are also not blocking the way out.

THAT is my stomach. Kicking it gives Mommy heartburn. Lots and lots of heartburn.

THAT is my bladder. Now we’re getting closer to the way out. But that does not mean you get to use it as a punching bag. Keep your head in that general area, and when it’s time for you to come out you’ll be aimed in more or less the right direction.

Despite my complaints, it’s so much fun feeling you move around. Sleepless nights and all. We’ll be getting to know each other even better soon. I look forward to it.

Love, Mommy

I posted a while back about my goals for 2009. I like to think they’re pretty achievable, but of course there’s one big complication:

Planning around baby.

That’s going to be roughest in the early months of the year. You don’t want to know how very tired I get right now. It’s hard to get work done consistently at the moment. I know quite well that I’m unfocused and tired.

This will of course be getting worse as my due date approaches, and then as I get still less sleep after she’s born.

Ideally, of course, I’ll go into natural labor and be home in a couple days. But since I had a C-section last time I do have to face the reality that I may be stuck with one again. That’s a much more difficult recovery, as I remember it, as well as more painful.

This means I have to think about making realistic goals just for the early parts of the year when I’m too tired to accomplish much.

In January, that means getting things ready for when I go into labor, and the early, exhausted days following. While working at home means I don’t need to take 6 weeks of maternity leave, taking things easy for the first few weeks is only smart.

At the same time, stopping all efforts is not what I want to do.

This makes the big January goal to prewrite some blog posts. Topics that I can just have saved, and hit publish when I need them to go out. This kind of thing keeps it looking as though I’m chugging along, while I focus on what’s really important at that point in my life.

And that’s not just posting cute baby pictures!

February, along with any part of January that may get caught up in having the baby (due date is Feb 3, so I do have to consider this), will be whatever work I can stand to do, while being there for all 3 kids. It’s the initial adjustment period, and I know my son in particular will be adjusting.

Besides, he has a February birthday also, although it’s later in the month.

By March, I hope to be getting somewhat back to normal… whatever the new normal happens to be. Won’t be the same, of course. But I would sure like to be getting the fuzz out of my head and my focus back.

We already have the office setup planned so baby can be near me even when I do work, and to protect her from all the little toys the older two leave around. Just a nice play area where only baby toys will be allowed, I or someone else can sit and play with her, and just have her near me. Beyond just when she’s nursing and I’m typing one handed, that is.

It will be interesting to see how things work out. The thought of being the mom of 3 is pretty overwhelming in some ways, especially when I add in trying to keep running my business without going completely insane. But I love what I do and I love my family, so I have no doubts that I will manage it all somehow.

Life has been interesting during this pregnancy for me. It’s rather draining for one thing. Adding in some rather severe hip pain due to the way things are loosening up in preparation for childbirth doesn’t help. Neither does the sweet clinginess of my 3 year old son.

Not that I really like to complain about that last. Despite having an older sister as well, my son seems quite well aware that a baby means big changes in his life. His recent need for my constant presence has emphasized that quite nicely.

This period has been one of the most challenging for me to get work done. Pregnancy is tiring, and it is so important to get enough rest. I joke with my husband that there’s only one plus to all the hip pain – it ensures that I don’t go overboard nesting. I HAVE to take breaks regularly or I will hardly be able to move.

And no, Tylenol doesn’t help. I wish it did.

There’s a lot that I hope to get done before I have this baby. I’d like to have a backlog of blog posts ready to go, for example. I may not be able to describe in advance how things went in the hospital, but I can certainly blog about more of the regular work at home and stay at home parenting issues I’m already familiar with.

Add in the usual blog posts I do just to keep things running around here.

Add in my preference for article marketing. This is the one I’ve been letting slide, as it’s least visible directly on my site.

I do have some plans. First of all, if anyone reading this wants to submit a guest post for this blog, the contact form link is on the left hand menu. I won’t be using anything until probably January or February, but anyone who wants to start talking with me now, feel free.

I also need to go through my private label article stash. Some may work adequately as blog posts with only minor rewriting. Others won’t be something I’d want to post but may suffice as a sort of research for a better article that I can write on my own, taking less time than doing the research would otherwise. I always check claims in private label articles, as the lowest quality ones I ever tried had a bunch of flat out falsehoods. Other companies make ones that are good enough to use flat out, but I prefer to add my own voice in anyhow.

Coping with my son’s needs can be far more challenging. I can’t keep count of how many times a day he asks for a snuggle… which inevitably turns into a game of Tickle Spiders. Well, almost inevitably. Once in a while he really is just cuddly.

But then there’s the backtrack on potty training. This has been a battle for a few months now. It started in large part because we had so many changes for him to deal with at once, the pregnancy, the start of my husband’s job, my daughter going back to school.

Yeah, this has been going on for a few months. Getting him trained for #1 wasn’t so bad, but #2…

Well I think if I gave you any details it would be TMI. Suffice it to say it’s been rough and there’s been a lot of extra laundry going on. Thank goodness he’s finally calming down about the whole deal and being willing to at least try.

It’s been a balancing act, indulging his need for reassurance and my need to work. Not to mention helping him to understand that baby will take some of Mommy’s time and at times he will have to deal with it. He likes talking about the ways he can help out, though, and the reassurance that Mommy can snuggle him and the baby at the same time if he’s careful.

Looking back I realize how much easier I had it during past pregnancies. I worked at home during both, but things were simpler. No other kids during my first, of course. I wasn’t pushing my business so hard during my second, and my daughter has always been a more independent child than my son. Good thing too, considering how much extra care he needed after being born!

Now I have a daughter in first grade, a son in speech therapy 3 days a week, and when I can manage it a fairly demanding work schedule. Thank goodness that last bit is up to me and I can drop things as I choose!

I think one of the hardest things for me with this pregnancy has been rescheduling my work times to cope with the fact that sometimes I just get more tired.

At that I’m lucky. If I worked outside the home I’d just have to cope or call in sick. I do love my flexibility in work times!

This past weekend’s trip was one of those occasions where I had to think about what I wanted to do not only by, well, what I wanted to do, but also what I was really up for doing. Combine attending BlogWorld Expo with being 5 months pregnant and dealing with severe hip pain, and you really do start to think of excuses to just sit down.

Which makes it really hard to network until you get to a table full of people you can talk to. But it’s really good for attending sessions.

I was just glad to only be 5 months along. Another month or two, and I very much doubt I would have risked it. I came too close to losing my son late in my previous pregnancy to take chances.

Of course everyone has their own priorities. You just have to look at the controversy surrounding what Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin did. I’m not using that as a criteria for whether or not I think she’s qualified, but she certainly opened up a big debate on what mothers should be doing so late in a pregnancy. I wouldn’t have. She did. It turned out all right for her.

And that’s enough politics for now. I just found the discussion on motherhood that opened up interesting.

As with so many things in life, it comes down to your own tolerance levels. Those of us who chose to stay at home to raise our children have different priorities than the ones who choose to work outside the home. And different from those who work outside the home out of sheer necessity.

What I don’t do and I don’t recommend doing, is letting pregnancy take complete control of your life… unless you’re on bedrest or something. There are times to push your limits and times to take it easy.

As for me, I’m trying hard to get a lot of things done. I have serious goals to consider, such as building my income to be prepared in case this miserable economy does in my husband’s nice, new job. It might.

But I’ve been taking advantage and sleeping in as much as my son will allow. Changing how much and at what time of day I read other blogs so that I can get work of my own done. And trying to get my husband to understand that walking a lot build up hip pain much faster than it builds up endurance, which he thinks I should be trying. I don’t think he understands that it’s not a muscle issue.

I know these next few months will bring more changes to how I work, and after baby girl comes around, it will change more yet. Little rascal will no doubt make life interesting in yet another new way.

They always do.