Many families are deeply worried about the current economy. It’s riskier than usual to rely on a single income. Is it still smart to be a stay at home mom if you aren’t certain that your husband’s job will last?

This is a deeply personal decision, and there are many ways to resolve the issue.

Issues to Consider:

1. How much risk do you think you’re subject to?

Sometimes you know that a job is likely to be cut soon. Other times it’s a complete shock.

If you know that your family’s income is at risk, it’s time to think about what you are going to do to get things under control before they get out of control. That can mean that you need to look for a job, or that your husband does, before any layoffs happen.

2. Does your family earn enough money right now?

Sometimes the answer is, honestly, “no.” If you’re going deeper and deeper into debt in the hopes that your income will increase enough through your husband’s work, it may be a good idea to rethink what’s going on.

3. What options do you have?

You don’t have to quit being a stay at home mom these days to work. There are many options for working at home, along with plenty of scams to keep it hazardous.

Work at home jobs can be quite basic or require highly technical skills. One of my sisters currently works at home as a computer programmer. It’s an ideal career for working from home, but not one just anyone can do.

Home businesses are another good option, especially if your finances have enough leeway to let you get a good start before you need the money. You may lose the money you try to invest in a business, however, even if the opportunity was a good one. Success is never guaranteed. But if you can do it, it’s an amazing experience.

Another option is to work outside of the home when your husband is off work. It’s miserable in many ways, and hard on a marriage, but if daycare costs would eat up any earnings and you really need the money, it’s one way to handle things. Evening and nighttime jobs outside the home may not offer the same opportunities as those during the day, but if you need money you do what you have to.

If you’ve been living as a single income family for a while, hopefully things are still going well enough that you can continue to do so. But if things are going downhill, best to keep an eye on it before a problem develops or becomes serious.

Sometimes money issues get in the way of being a strict stay at home mom. You have to find ways to bring in more money. Sometimes that means taking on a job outside the home while your husband is home with the kids in the evenings.

Does that make you any less of a stay at home mom?

It can make you feel that way, even if you’re there for all the time the kids are up. After all, you have less energy for them during the day, not to mention less time for your marriage. It’s a rough way to live.

To me, a lot of being a stay at home mom is in your intent, as well as what you do. If you’re there when your kids are at home and awake, you’re enough of a stay at home mom for what your family needs.

You do, of course, have to think through the consequences of what you’re doing. Even part time work at the times your kids don’t need you can add to the strain of your day, even if it also gives you a needed break outside the home or the money you need to keep your family going.

“Mom Wars.” You have no idea how much I hate that term. It sounds like we moms have nothing better to do than to fight about who’s doing it right, stay at home or work outside the home moms.

I’ve never felt one was inherently superior to the other. There are advantages to each, and what’s right for your family may not be right for mine. But a lot of people forget that.

I’d like to discuss my own reasons for being a stay at home mom first.

1. I get to be with my kids.

For just about any stay at home mom, this one comes first. It’s fun to be there for everything, even if it gets exhausting at times. I have a son who loves to cling to me and a daughter who is quite independent. Both can drive me nuts and drain me some days, but I get to see it all.

2. I’m able to work from home.

This is an advantage that today’s stay at home moms have over their predecessors. It’s much, much easier to bring in an income from home than it used to be. You aren’t all but limited to daycare or direct sales anymore. Some work regular jobs, but telecommute. Others run online businesses. Others choose more traditional routes to earn money.

The balance is tough, but doable for me. Doesn’t work for everyone, though, and I know it.

So why would a mom choose to work outside the home?

1. The family needs the money.

We can argue all we want about what “needs the money” really means, and never do anything more than judge one another. I’m not going to go there because “needs” is something that can be very personally defined.

2. Mom loves her career.

Why would you leave a career you love? If you aren’t the kind of mom who would enjoy being with her kids all the time, a career provides a sense of balance in your life. Women today generally aren’t raised to expect to be at home all the time. We are raised with the expectation that we can do what we want with our lives and fulfill our own dreams.

Despite the many guilt trips others lay upon us.

And that’s the catch. No matter which road we choose, someone wants to judge us. Stay at home moms are called lazy. If they work from home it’s hard to be taken seriously (although things in that area are slowly improving for many!).

Moms who work outside the home are scolded for allowing someone else to raise their kids. They may be disadvantaged in their careers by the demands of motherhood.

It’s much better to admit that most of us are just trying to do the best we can with what we’ve got. Each decision means a sacrifice of something else, whether it be a change or delay in your career, a decrease in the family’s income or something else.

Sure, it’s sometimes hard to talk to a mom who made a different choice. Your lives can be very different. But odds are you both made the decisions you felt were the right ones. Argue about who’s the better mom and you’re just making life harder for each other.