1. Why the focus on moms?

This is one of the things that drives me up the wall. Why blame only moms for putting their kids in daycare and going to work? Why not the dads? I have two very competent stay at home dads in my family. Don’t tell me it can’t be done.

Sure, it’s more common and more traditional for moms to be more involved in child care. Unless you’re talking about pregnancy or breastfeeding, it doesn’t really have to be that way. Dads can do plenty, and they usually enjoy it.

2. Daycare is a perfectly acceptable option.

I may be an at home mom myself, but I have absolutely no problem with putting kids in daycare if that’s what the family needs.

My mother raised four of us on her own, so I speak from personal experience when I say daycare doesn’t have to be all that bad. It is not having someone else raise your child. They’re helping, yes, but so are the schools. Believe me, my parents still had plenty of influence on my choices throughout life, even my dad who I didn’t always see that much of as he didn’t always live nearby or even in the same state.

That said, I know daycare gets expensive fast. You do have to look at whether having both parents work makes sense in the face of daycare costs. Sometimes having a parent stay at home makes more financial sense. Still, that doesn’t mean working moms are in the wrong.

3. Not all stay at home moms are good at it.

It’s like anything else. Some stay at home moms are wonderful, attentive, caring, hard working mothers. Others aren’t. There are plenty of times when it’s better for the kids for both parents to work and have them go to daycare.

I don’t think you’re bad at being a stay at home mom if you aren’t up to June Cleaver’s level or anything. If staying at home is more of a miserable thing for you because you’d rather have a career, get out and get one. You won’t be called a bad parent by me for it.

4. Staying at home can be stressful.

Many people view being a stay at home mom as this wonderful, unstressed lifestyle. Somehow even the financial troubles just aren’t that big a problem for them. They make it work and life is good.

That’s not true for everyone. If you go to one income and can’t pay all the bills for little things you need such as rent, food and electricity, that’s stressful. Dealing with children can be stressful. Really and truly, the life of a stay at home mom isn’t all television and bonbons.

Is it less stressful for some than for others? Absolutely! That doesn’t mean it’s stress free for every stay at home parent. Financial challenges and other problems cause plenty of stress for others.

5. No acknowledgement of the real financial struggles many families face.

The people saying moms should just cope with the cutting back financially and stay at home have no concept of how much many families struggle. It’s not always a choice between a bigger house or a smaller house, or a newer or older car. It’s getting by, period.

Yes, some families are fortunate enough to have circumstances where they can get by on a minimal income and have one parent home. That’s the exception. We can’t all find extremely low rent, have family provide a home, inherit one, or otherwise get off cheap on housing costs. Some places are more expensive to live, and if that’s where your work is, it’s really not so simple as packing up to move someplace cheaper.

Then there’s food costs. Frankly, if the only way you can have one parent stay at home is to go on food stamps or other assistance, you need to look at increasing your income. That can be by working at home, I don’t mind that (obviously). I just don’t think you should use assistance to support a lifestyle choice, no matter how much you love your kids more than money. Use public assistance to keep going when you must, no problem there, but not as a lifestyle when you have other ways to get by.

6. An old car isn’t always a good solution.

Some people in the forum posts mentioned having an old car as one way to cut down on costs. That’s great when it works, no car payments, but sometimes the repairs run more than a car payment would. What do you do then? Unless you live in an area with good public transportation or close enough to work to walk or bike, a car can be a necessity.

Older cars are going to hit that point where you have to repair them more often eventually, and although they can be quite cheap to own for a time, repair costs can be more than payments on a newer car. What are families supposed to do then? A single income family can’t always save up a few thousand for a newer used car.

7. Stop with the “Only have as many children as you can afford” thing.

This one always annoys me. Certainly, there comes a point where people know they’re having more children than they can afford, but that’s not always what happened at the time the child was conceived or was born. Circumstances change. Jobs are lost, businesses close, incomes decrease. You can’t ever be certain that you can “afford” your children the entire 18 years you’ll be raising them, never mind whether or not you’ll be able to help with college.

Yes, I do agree that parents should think if their current circumstances will allow them to afford a child. It’s not my place to tell them what their final decision should be, however. If my husband and I had waited until we knew on paper that we could afford children, we wouldn’t have started when we did. We made it work anyhow, and while it’s been a struggle, we haven’t had to go on any sort of public assistance, and are finally making progress on the credit card debts.

8. Working moms spend plenty of time with their kids.

It has been shown that working moms spend more time with their kids now than stay at home moms did back in 1965. Dads are more involved too. Sure, stay at home moms spend still more time, but it’s not likely that the average kid is lacking for time with his or her parents due to being sent to daycare.

9. Women benefit from working.

I love the work I do at home. I don’t believe I would cope at all well as a stay at home mom if I didn’t have my business. It gives me something to think about beyond my home and children. That’s a good thing.

There’s also the money moms lose from not working. I don’t just mean in the moment. I mean saving for retirement as well as building a solid base for her career, missing out on promotions and so forth. It’s a long term income loss that can be hard on parents long after their children are grown.

That’s a big part of why I’m such a fan of working from home. Maybe you don’t need to earn the equivalent of a full time job, but at least you can keep some money coming in and some job skills current. Life’s uncertain, and that’s one way I cope.

I have a lawyer friend who tells me that most stay at home moms he knows don’t really understand what they’re losing out on by not working. He’s dealt with them on Social Security issues, and it basically comes down to if you don’t contribute, you don’t get anything. Sometimes that’s a huge problem.

10. The United States isn’t easy on families.

If you take a look at work policies around the Western world, the U.S. doesn’t look remotely family friendly. There’s a lack of parental leave available, childcare standards aren’t as good as other countries, education isn’t as good, the list goes on.  I’d call that a bigger problem than whether or not mothers stay home with their kids.

11. It’s possible that working parents are better for kids.

Now, all kinds of conclusions can be drawn from studies, nonetheless it is possible that working mothers really aren’t bad for their kids.

12. Women have often worked outside the home throughout history.

Women working outside the home is nothing new, and they didn’t just do so before marriage or motherhood.

13. I absolutely support at home parents.

Despite everything on this rant, I absolutely support at home parents, whether it’s the mother or the father. I wouldn’t run this site if I didn’t. It just makes me mad when people glance at working moms and declare them to be awful parents. They aren’t.

There’s nothing wrong with raising kids in the tight financial situation that often results from being a single income family. I suspect there’s some good in it, as kids then learn that they don’t get everything they want all the time.

14. Parents supporting their kids is the most important thing.

What matters most in the long run is that parents support their kids. I don’t just mean financially. I mean educationally, emotionally and so forth. You’re a parent and you’re probably doing the best you can for your kids. That doesn’t mean you can’t do your best for yourself too. If your kids are loved and know it, there’s a good chance they’ll be fine whether you’re at home or working.

Related posts:

1. Some Days I Really Feel for Working Moms
2. Should Women Be Stay at Home Moms?
3. How to Meet Other Stay at Home Moms

There’s a lot to get done every day, and never enough time. You could drive yourself crazy with stress, but you’d be better off figuring out how to make the most of being a stay at home mom. With the right perspective and some good family support it’s a lot of fun. The parts where the kids are silly and you get to see them reach so many milestones are always fun, but some days you’ll wish the stress and noise would give you a break.

1. Take a break for you.

That’s right. When you need a break, find a way to take one. It won’t always be easy, but you need to take time for you.

The problem many stay at home moms have is that they’re on call 24/7 and they don’t ask enough help from their husbands. It’s that feeling that he works all day, discounting what you do all day yourself as just part of the deal. The simple truth is that you’re working hard too; it’s just a different kind of work, a different kind of hard. Much of what you do may seem like play to others, but if someone else did that for your kids, you’d probably have to pay them.

That’s why you need and deserve breaks. Children are demanding little rascals. You need a break so that you can deal with the demands in a better frame of mind, more relaxed, and with plenty of time to pursue your own interests.

There’s no good reason to drop all your interests just because you’re raising children, and many good reasons to keep them up. Reading to amuse yourself is a good example for the children, as is showing them that you have interests outside of their care. Nothing selfish about that. Instead you’re teaching your kids about things you like to do and that they can amuse themselves when you need time for yourself. You may still have to keep a bit of an eye on them while you pursue your interests, but the independence they learn in playing on their own, or with siblings and friends is a great skill.

2. Take time for your marriage.

Your kids need you quite a bit, but so does your husband. You need him too, and you both need time together. Make time for it.

Dates don’t have to be fancy, or even away from home. Put the kids to bed, shut off the TV or put a great movie you’ve been wanting to watch together, just make time for the two of you. A special dinner, some massage, even just talking, whatever sounds fun to the two of you.

That’s not to discount getting out on your own away from the house and the kids regularly. It’s just to point out that you don’t have to pay for a babysitter if you want to be spontaneous or the budget doesn’t work out. When you can get out together, do so. Have some fun.

It’s important to keep that connection in your marriage. It’s good for the both of you and a great example for the children. They need to know that your partnership as a married couple is a vital part of life.

3. Take time for your friends and other family.

Being a stay at home mom can be really lonely if you let it. Don’t.

This is a good time to quit talking about the kids and remember who you are. It will help encourage you to keep up your other interests, and of course it’s fun to have time with your own friends.

4. Take time for your career.

That’s right. Just because you’re a stay at home mom right now doesn’t mean you should neglect your career entirely. Stay at home moms have a lot of options right now to be there for their families and still either work from home or keep learning so they don’t lose all their work skills. Make the most of these opportunities.

This is important even if you think you’ll always be a stay at home mom. None of us know what the future holds. Death, divorce, layoffs, disabilities, all these things can mean you suddenly need to plunge back into the workforce. You should prepare in other ways financially as well, but keeping up some sort of job skills or running a home business can mean a lot in the long run.

There are a lot of ways to work at home, whether you telecommute from your usual career, freelance, take a simpler job that can be done from home or start your own business of one sort or another. The internet gives you more possibilities than your own mother had for an income from home.

You could also take time to further your career. Night classes, online classes, take something that will give your career a boost later on. Most of us don’t remain stay at home moms until retirement. Better to work to advance your career than to fall behind because your skills are out of date.

5. Have pride in your work as a stay at home mom.

Despite the common description, you aren’t “just” a stay at home mom. There’s nothing so little about it. You do complex, challenging work. Don’t minimize it. The work isn’t for everyone, but what job is?

You know you don’t have that much time for sitting and watching TV. Your day won’t sound like much to some people, but those who have been there know how much is really involved. Have a little fun talking about it when the topic comes up.

Related posts:

1. Does Being a Stay at Home Mom Make a Difference to Your Kids?
2. How Do You Talk About Being a Stay at Home Mom?
3. You Know You’re a Stay at Home Mom When…

The only problem is that sometimes other parents want you to be there for their kids too much. A little is one thing but too much interferes with your work schedule and can feel like a burden. It’s really hard to say no once the habit is built, but sometimes you have to.

Then there are your own family and friends who can expect that you’ll be able to help them out whenever they need it. This can be incredibly disruptive to your daily routine, but when they know your schedule is flexible, they don’t like to take no for an answer.

When to Say No

We all like to help our family and friends when they need us. The problem is defining when they need our help versus times that they need to find another solution because it’s taking too much of our own time. You have to know it’s okay for you to speak up when you can’t help out because it doesn’t fit in your own schedule.

Watching someone else’s kids is one of the most common issues for work at home moms, and whether it works for you or not depends on the situation. Watching a baby takes a lot more care than watching an 8 year old who plays well with your own 8 year old, and that’s a very different situation from watching an 8 year old who doesn’t get along with your own 8 year old.

The main point to remember is that if you don’t take your at home job or home business seriously, no one else will. If watching someone’s child or children interferes with your ability to earn a living, that’s a problem. You can’t watch their child, or at least not without appropriate compensation, and if you earn enough from your work, there may not be reasonable compensation that can be paid for the loss of work hours. Not that you can’t be there for emergencies, but when daily or even weekly visits don’t work out, speak up!

Even if you aren’t earning much, your ability to work and eventually create an income makes your work time worth something. Don’t treat your business as less than serious just because the income isn’t there yet, and don’t let anyone tell you it’s less just because the income isn’t there. The income won’t be there until you make your business work. That takes serious, focused work time. You can’t be doing too many things for others when you need to do your own work, just as you wouldn’t if you were working a job outside the home.

In fact, that’s not a bad criteria in a lot of cases. If you wouldn’t be taking time off work to help from an outside the home job, is it a situation where you should be taking time off your at home work? You should be treating your at home work just as seriously.

When to Say Yes

Sometimes you’re going to say yes when people ask you for help. Hopefully it’s something that fits into your work schedule, so you can still get the work done while helping someone who needs it. Other times, it’s just that the need is that great.

When it comes to watching someone else’s kids, sometimes it’s to your benefit to agree to help. That would be when having another child or children over means your own will need you less, and so you can work more. That usually doesn’t work out if done on a daily basis, in my experience, but occasional friends over have given me some wonderfully quiet days with my older kids. They’re having too much fun with friends to be trying for my attention. Better yet, friends often want to trade times, so you can get still quieter time by having your kids at their friend’s house. That can be worth a little lost work time.

Overall, the most important thing to remember is that you have to take your work seriously to get others to take it seriously. That’s how you can decide when to help out and when to remind people that you’re working just as they are.

Related posts:

1. Taking Advantage of Holiday Food Prices
2. Working at Home is Like Taking Candy from a Baby
3. What Happened to Just Playing with Friends?

The only one you can directly calculate is the impact it’s going to have on your finances. Sometimes it’s not as bad as you might think. That’s good to know if you’re going to have to do some sort of work at home job or start a home business to make ends meet.

Things That May Cost Less

Taxes – If your income as a family goes down, you’ll be paying less in taxes. How much less depends on your family’s situation.

Eating Out – Stay at home parents usually eat out less. There’s the occasional meal out with the kids, but especially if you’re on a tight budget, the ability to eat at home more should be a nice savings. Some people do eat out a fair bit even when staying home with their kids, however.

Driving – This one depends on how many activities you’re running the kids around to as well as how far you had to drive to work. Still, for many families it’s a nice savings.

Daycare – Usually, when you stay at home you take care of your own kids. There goes the money you had to pay for daycare!

Entertainment – While you may be a major source of entertainment for the kids, you won’t have the occasional entertainment and social expenses that come from working. You won’t be asked to contribute to birthday presents, for example.

Clothes – Depends a bit on your habits and what you had to wear to work. But if you had to have a professional wardrobe, you’re likely to save a nice bit, especially if you had a lot of clothes to take to the dry cleaners.

Costs That May Increase

Not every cost goes down when you start staying at home. Fortunately, the increases should be significantly smaller than the decreases.

Power/Gas for Your Home – You’re home more. That means you’ll be using more electricity during the day and heating or cooling the house more.

Groceries – Especially if staying at home makes money tight, you’ll probably be eating at home more. Fortunately, it also means you have more time to make home cooked meals if so inclined.

Activities with the Kids – Having more time with the kids may mean that you spend more on activities with them or for them, as you’ll have more time to take them to extracurricular classes or have fun as a family. Just try to remember there are free fun things to do too.

How exactly your finances are effected overall depends on your own situation, but knowing some of the things that will change can help. Try some basic calculations based on how you think things will change and you might be surprised at how little your available income may change by staying at home.

Related posts:

1. Why Keep Your Home Business Finances and Personal Finances Separate?
2. How Important Should Frugality Be to Stay at Home Moms?
3. How Do You Decide Which Parent Stays at Home?

This naturally leads to wanting to live a frugal life. But just what is a frugal lifestyle, and how important should it be to you?

Just what is a frugal lifestyle?

How Do You Define Frugal?

Everyone has a slightly different idea as to just what constitutes a frugal lifestyle. Most people don’t mean a lifestyle where they go to extremes, denying themselves all extras and most simple comforts in life. It’s also not about living as though you’re poor or completely broke.

A healthy frugal lifestyle will be comfortable for your family.

A healthy frugal lifestyle will be comfortable for your family. You shouldn’t feel completely deprived all the time. You should have different things that are priorities for you, such as preferring to take a family walk to spending $50 or more for a family night at the movie theater.

Frugal Isn’t the Same as Cheap

It’s easy to think of frugality and cheapness as the same thing. They do have similar motivations in some respects. But when you really look at them, they are not the same thing at all. I consider frugality to be more deliberate.

When you’re being cheap, quality isn’t a consideration, as a general rule. You buy the cheapest. You decline to spend money even where you should.

When you’re frugal, you’re making more deliberate decisions about how you will spend your money. Sometimes you’ll pay more for quality, because it will cost you less in the long run. You’ll have thought out your priorities.

Frugality for Stay at Home Moms

How frugal you need to be when you’re staying at home depends on the needs of your family and what your family’s income is like. Some will need to take extreme steps. For others, simpler steps will be enough.

The advantage you have is time.

The advantage you have is time. You have the time to do frugal basics such as cooking nearly all meals at home. You have the time to do coupon clipping. These simple frugal activites can make a big difference.

Whatever choices you make when it comes to living your frugal lifestyle, there are a few basics you should always include:

• Living within your means
• Bringing down any existing debt
• Limiting waste
• Knowing your priorities and sticking to them.

There’s no simple frugal path that leads to comfort with a change in your lifestyle. It’s quite likely that some of the changes you make will be a little uncomfortable for you at first. If they’re important enough to you, you will become comfortable with the changes in a short time. It’s much easier to be frugal if you don’t feel as though you’re denying a lot of wants.

Related posts:

1. How to Avoid Common Budget Mistakes Stay at Home Moms Make
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Good thing there’s a large middle ground that just calls us moms. But that doesn’t keep stay at home moms from talking down about what they do a little.

There’s that little tendency to describe oneself as “just” a stay at home mom, as though it’s nothing special. Even when you respect moms who work outside the home, you have to admit there’s a lot special about moms who stay home with their kids.

Don’t belittle the work you do every day. Sure, moms who work outside the home have to deal with cooking, housework and all the stuff their kids need too, but you have to deal with it all day. That means more cooking, more housework and more of the kids’ needs. Quite likely it all comes on a tighter budget too.

Even if many of the people in your life don’t always understand why you choose to be a stay at home mom, do your best to celebrate what you have. There are plenty of mothers and fathers who would gladly trade places with you.

You probably know how very little free time you have. It varies quite a bit with how old the kids are, but it’s easy to end up rushing all over the place trying to get everything done. Free time can be spending a few minutes at the computer before one of the kids needs you urgently again. It can be watching a favorite show and hoping the toddler takes a longer nap this time. It can be crashing on the couch to enjoy a little quality time with your husband after getting the kids in bed.

But even the busy times of a stay at home mom should be enjoyed as much as possible. I don’t mean try to be a perfect mom. That’s not going to happen. But even the chaos can be fun if you relax as best you can about it.

Don’t lose yourself to your identity as a stay at home mom. No matter how much time you spend caring for your family, there’s more to you than motherhood. You have other interests. Keep them up.

It can be hard to compare what you do as a stay at home mom to the career accomplishments of friends and family who work outside the home. But don’t say you’re “just” a stay at home mom. Say you’re privileged to be a stay at home mom. Delighted to be a stay at home mom. Something positive about being a stay at home mom.

It won’t change how everyone thinks of your decision to be a stay at home mom, but it can help you to remember how positive a decision it is for you.

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3. Beating Stay at Home Mom Isolation

Starting a home business is a good idea for stay at home moms. It helps to keep skills up. It can bring money in if the efforts are successful. It’s often fun. It’s a good example for the children.

So how do you find something that can cope with all the demands of a stay at home mom’s daily routine? Especially if that routine changes every few months, as it does for so many moms?

Here are some online business ideas and what makes them flexible:

Network Marketing/Direct Sales

Pretty much the classic! Stay at home moms have been getting into network marketing for a long time now, and it shows no signs of disappearing.

There are a lot of things you can do now in network marketing that you couldn’t do in the past, however. The internet has really increased your options. It’s not all about begging your family and friends to join your opportunity anymore.

Check out the 7 Great Lies of Network Marketing to learn more about how network marketing has changed with the internet. And check my direct sales/network marketing opportunity directory to see if any appeal to you.

Blogging

You can’t get much more flexible, although it can be quite demanding if you want to earn a living from blogging.

You can write at whatever time of the day or night, and most blogging software will let you schedule the posts you’ve written as far out as you’d like. You can start for free to see if you’d like it, but I strongly recommend getting your own hosting and installing WordPress if you’re going to treat it as a serious business in the long run.

You’ll still need to learn how to promote your blog, which can include tactics such as commenting on other people’s blogs, guest posting, article marketing, pay per click and much more.

Virtual Assistant

If you have a lot of office skills, being a virtual assistant can be a pretty good business. You decide which of your skills you want to offer, such as writing, customer service, data entry and so on.

There can be some time specific demands, however, especially if you promise to handle customer issues within a certain time frame or if you need to speak to people on the telephone.

Selling Products Online

This is a huge category. You can sell products you made yourself on Etsy, for example. You can sell products on eBay" alt="" />. You can do drop shipping.

Each of these has its own challenges, but what’s right for one person may not be right for the next.

Selling your own products means you’ll have to get to the post office or otherwise ship products out promptly. You’ll of course have much of the day to handle that, but it’s not something that can wait until the kids go to bed for the night.

Affiliate Marketing

Why sell your own products and deal with customers when you can sell someone else’s? That’s pretty much the idea for many affiliates.

Affiliate marketing can be a lot of fun as well as a lot of work. You can use blogging to sell products, or pay per click advertising, or article marketing, or create a product comparison website, or….

There are a lot of options out there.

The challenge is in finding the profitable niches. They’re out there but it’s not always easy to pick the right one, and it can take time to figure out what works. But you can work any time day or night, and that’s a pretty nice advantage.

Of course, you can succeed or fail in any home business, and there are other flexible options out there. Just because it’s flexible enough to fit your schedule and you enjoy it doesn’t mean you’ll make a living doing it. But it’s better to try than to say it can’t be done.

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The same can be said for moms who work outside the home, of course.

Being told that your kids would be just fine if you put them in daycare is tough to hear, of course, and isn’t always true. So much depends on the quality of daycare that is available to you.

So what difference can you make to your family as a stay at home mom?

Money

The money issue can go both ways. Yes, many families have to cut back due to having just one income. It’s a big risk. You’re also likely limiting your retirement income if you aren’t working and saving for your retirement while you’re home with the kids.

On the other hand, daycare can be miserably expensive. Sometimes, by the time you take out the cost of daycare, the cost of commuting, cost of wardrobe, taxes and so forth, you’re actually saving money by not having a second income.

Which way your being at home impacts your family’s finances really depends on your likely income potential. If you know you’d be losing money by working outside the home, those naysayers have nothing to complain about!

There’s a risk to being a single income family, of course. That’s if layoffs come about. Losing one income is painful no matter whether one or both parents work, but if it’s the only income the situation may be a lot worse.

That’s a part of why I always recommend stay at home moms consider some form of working at home. It can be a job or a home business, but have some way to bring in a little money. Save it for retirement if you don’t really need it at the moment. But keep those skills up while doing something you love when you’re at home. You may not need to work now, but there are no guarantees for the future.

Your Relationship with Your Children

How you relate to your children can be different depending on whether you’re home all day with them or gone at a job. Either one can cause problems or make things better, depending on personal needs and personalities.

A mother who doesn’t want to stay at home, for example, probably shouldn’t. A miserable stay at home mom is going to have a harder time doing her best for her family.

What really matters is that you have ways to be there for your children when they need you. That goes for both mothers and fathers, regardless of where and if they work.

And of course some children need their parents more. This is especially true for younger children, although the option isn’t always there if the mother’s income is needed. As always, doing the best you can is generally good enough for your family. Perfection isn’t required.

Sad to say, an overprotective stay at home mom who never lets her kids do anything is going to cause as many problems for the working outside the home mom who is never there for her kids. Both are extremes; your typical stay at home mom isn’t excessively overprotective and your typical working outside the home mom will do everything she can to be there for her kids.

More Time for Activities

Stay at home moms do have a big advantage over working moms in being able to sign their kids up for whatever activities they’re interested in. It’s just easier to get them to the activities, whether it be sports, an art class, whatever.

Working moms can do it, but they have to be pickier about schedules.

Housekeeping

Yes, we all have to handle it. Working moms have more limited time for housekeeping, but stay at home moms have messes generated all day in their homes. Either way it can really add up.

In both cases, get the kids involved at age appropriate levels. Little kids love to help; older kids need to know how to do housework for their own good later in life as well as just having responsibilities now.

Don’t Let the Guilt Get You Down

All moms feel guilt. It’s just one of those things. No matter what we do there’s someone there to tell us we’re doing it wrong.

That’s okay. Remember that your own parents weren’t perfect. Hopefully their worst mistakes were forgivable and already forgiven. Do your best and your kids will hopefully do the same for you.

Related posts:

1. Should a Mom Always Stay Home with the Kids?
2. 5 Tips to Make the Most of Being a Stay at Home Mom
3. How Long Do Your Kids Need You as a Stay at Home Mom?

Gift Ideas for Stay at Home Moms

Couponizer

The Couponizer is a good choice because so many stay at home moms are highly focused on saving money. It’s tough being a single income family. Having a way to keep those coupons organized can be a big help in actually using them.

Day Planner

This is great for the mom whose family is always on the go. Keeping up with all the activities isn’t easy if you don’t have things written down.

Hire a Cleaning Service

Contact local cleaning services in your area for the mom who needs a break.

Babysitting

Offer to babysit the children for a stay at home mom or pay a sitter for her. Either way she gets some time out, either on her own or on a date with her significant other.

Give a Spa Day

Well, I hear this one works for most women. Doesn’t matter if they stay at home, work outside the home, whatever. A little time to be indulged is a wonderful thing.

Digital Photo Frame

The trouble with digital cameras can be that you take so many pictures you rarely see them, and most people don’t print that many. A digital photo frame takes pretty good care of that issue.

Pay Attention to What She Wants

I can list things all day, but in the end it comes down to what the person wants. Pay attention or even flat out ask for ideas if nothing is appealing yet.

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They’re looking at the possibility of a 4 day school week to save money, making the days longer so the kids would be in school the same number of hours.

Can I just say how miserable that sounds all the way around?

Miserable for the kids, who need free time to play every day. Being stuck for extra time 4 days a week in a classroom doesn’t strike me as a good plan for most ages. I don’t see it as being good for the kids academically, emotionally, socially or any other way.

And of course it’s miserable for the parents with kids young enough to still need daycare. That’s more time they’d be paying for, or a rougher time working their work schedule around the kids’ school schedule.

Given the tight finances of many families, that’s a very real concern. Not all of us are fortunate enough to be able to work at home, have a flexible schedule or otherwise be able to cope with these changes, no matter how much we love our children.

One can argue that this is a point in favor of homeschooling, but that’s not a viable solution for all families. And I don’t believe in the bit about only having kids if you can raise them entirely yourself. There’s no need to judge other parents so harshly.

There have been other times I’ve really wondered how working moms do it. Not out of contempt, but admiration for their determination.

When my son had his craniosynostosis surgery, and then helmet therapy, for example. I know I had it far, far easier than parents who worked outside the home. I can’t imagine how one would keep up with the many appointments I had to deal with – sometimes three in one week, all different days.

That’s not to say I don’t admire my fellow at home moms. I do. We cope with tight budgets, lots of criticisms from people who think we’re wasting our talents, and the daily challenges kids love to present. I think I’m lucky to be in that crowd, but I won’t judge those who don’t choose it for one reason or another. We’re all just doing our best for the most part.

Related posts:

1. Should Stay at Home Moms Feel Guilty About Depriving Their Kids By Working at Home?
2. Don’t Insult Working Moms
3. Are Kids Spoiled These Days?