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The Editor's Desk - From Beneath the Clutter
Feature Article - How to Get Your Kids to Pick Up Their Toys
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Guest Article - Our Kids and Their Money
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It's so nice to be home with my son. I'm still getting back into the swing of things, but I'm making progress, typing with one hand when I have to, and spending lots more time off the computer.
Gage is a very good baby. He loves to nap... too much, actually. I'm under doctor's orders to feed him every two hours during the day, even when I have to wash his face to wake him. Little rascal is a nightowl, so I'm running quite short on sleep. Thank goodness Ariel loves being a big sister.
Gage is growing well. He's up to 6 lb already, which is more than he weighed at birth. I'm a firm believer in breastfeeding, which can be hard when I'm tired, since no one else can take care of Gage for me, but it's so worthwhile. They gave him a bottle in the hospital right after the C-section - actually did it several times as I understand it, but we only had a few problems getting started. I don't know if it's just routine after a C-section or due to Gage's being premature, but they gave him a bottle every 20 minutes for a while, before I was even allowed to have him in my room. No harm done, at least.
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Every night found me nagging my kids for the same thing: "You guys, look at your room. Get your toys picked up right now!"
I didn't understand it. They would have their room picked up, but a few hours later, it would be messy again. Toys all over the floor, blankets on the floor. Toys in the hallway; toys downstairs.
I definitely was getting tired of looking at the mess, tired of stepping on Legos, but it was more than that. I was aggravated that they didn't appreciate what they had!
When I was growing up, we had only a few toys. I took good care of those toys - I still have my Tinker Toys in the original metal can with the included instruction book - and I'm 37!
My parents didn't have to nag me all the time - I don't think - to pick up my toys. I know that I appreciated them because they were so few and far between.
My kids have been less fortunate in that respect - tons of toys from Grandparents and relatives for Christmas.
Toys that move, make noises, and you name it.
They definitely don't appreciate the abundance of toys that they have. So, I figured that I'd teach them what it's like to appreciate them or they wouldn't get to have any!
One day I told them that every time I stepped on a toy, or had to pick up pieces of a set, or had to pick up something that was left out, it was going in the trash.
And that's what I did. But it didn't work.
You see, they ended up having ALL their toys in the trash. It was annoying because there wasn't anything left to play with when other kids came over.
And it still didn't solve the problem of not appreciating what they had.
They didn't even have time to miss the toys - they didn't have to. It was only a short while before the next birthday or holiday brought in a new batch of them.
So, with my thinking cap on, I came up with my next plan of attack - a sticker and reward chart system.
They were excited, thrilled, and motivated. When they got up in the morning, they'd do all the things on their chart, anxious to have the boxes filled up with stickers.
But, stickers and reward charts only work once a day! When the "my toys are picked up" box has a sticker, the rest of the day went down the tube.
And, it didn't work to just give stickers at bedtime. They had no motivation to pick up during the day, and it became a nightmare divvying out all the stickers when bedtime already dragged on longer than it should!
So, I gave up for awhile. The lecture method didn't work, the "tossing toys" method didn't work, and the reward chart didn't work the way I wanted it too.
My kids were messy and unappreciative, and I needed to do something about it - fast.
My friend Judi didn't have that problem. Her kids got out one toy at a time - even when company was over - and put up that toy before getting out the next. When it was time to leave their house, it was a snap to clean up with just one toy per child.
She had all these little boxes and containers for their toys with little pieces, so I thought that maybe that was the secret.
On my next trip to Walmart, I bought some containers to hold the toys; and a big box that held some community toys.
Unfortunately all that changed was that I now had empty containers in the kids room with toys on the floor.
So, one day, I finally asked Judi, "How do you get your kids to keep their toys picked up?"
"Well, you know," she said, "I used to go crazy with all the toys everywhere that never got put up - hurting my feet from stepping on them...until we started to use the 'Saturday box'."
"What's a Saturday box?" I asked.
"It's just a container that we have, and every time a toy is left out, it goes into the Saturday box. Then they have to wait until Saturday to get their toys back."
"Ohhhh..." I said. A new concept that hadn't occurred to me before!
"And, the great thing about it," Judi continued, "is that they can still see the toys all week. That way they know what they're missing - that solved our 'out-of-sight-out-of-mind' problem."
I just nodded with agreement and understanding - I was totally following her.
So, back to Walmart. :-)
I got each kid a container with three drawers to keep their small toys. I explained to each of them that they could only play with one toy or set at a time. I made it very clear that if anything was left out, it would go into the Saturday box.
Their eyes were wide with amazement.
They knew Mommy was serious.
So, the first day went without incident. Then, on the 2nd, there was the first infraction.
"Maegan," I told her, "you left out a Polly Pockets. It needs to go into the Saturday box."
Now, she is only three years old; but she understood. We put the toy in the Saturday box - a clear plastic container on the kitchen counter.
EVERY day she was asking me if it was "Saturday". Fortunately for her, we had started mid-week so she only had 2 days to wait.
The boys ended up with a few toys in there too.
It's amazing how a simple box called a "Saturday box" can solve a lot of problems and teach "appreciation" at the same time!
If you still have problems with toys being scattered everyone and nothing has worked for you, give the "Saturday Box" a try today!
Laura Bankston is author of homeschool curriculum: Homeschool Cooking in a Box and the Homeschool Cookbook. She currently home schools her three children, maintains home school support websites, and manages their family-owned service business. For information on her curriculum and free home school support services, please visit http://www.homeschoolcookbook.com
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When I was a kid, I can't believe that was almost 50 years ago,
my folks used to give me a nickle, dime or sometimes even
a quarter to go to the corner store. When I got that money I
had to go directly to the store and make sure every penny was
spent.
Things didn't change much when I grew into an adult. I got
my paycheck and made sure that it was gone just as soon as
I could get rid of it. Sometimes I even paid some bills.
It took me a long time to realize that some of your money is
meant for tomorrow and what is meant for today has to cover
your obligations first.
It would be easy to blame my folks for not teaching me the
right way to manage my money. It would be even easier to
blame the schools for not having a class for real life finances.
The problem is that my folks or the schools didn't pay the price
for me not learning these lessons. My wife and family did.
It's time that things change. We have gone generation after
generation of having more debt and less knowledge of how to
deal with it. We have to educate our kids, starting as soon as
they know how to count, about the necessity of saving and
controlled spending.
I believe that, if we can afford it, we should consider giving
out kids an allowance, not to ensure that they have money,
but to pay them for what they do to help. Giving them money
and not expecting anything in return is sending the wrong
message.
If you can't afford an allowance, encourage them to find ways
to earn their own money. Running errands, babysitting, mowing
lawns are all things that neighbors and friends would be willing
to pay for.
Just as important as encouraging them to earn their own money
is to emphasize the importance of putting some of it away for
things they want in the future. Believe me, as a Father of 3
and a Grandfather of 6, they all have a big ticket item they
have either seen on TV or that all their friends have that they
just have to have.
One trick I've used is to make a deal with the kids. If they
need tennis shoes, I would buy them. If I paid for them they
got the $20 pair. If they wanted the more expensive shoes,
they would have to make up the difference. It's amazing how
often the $20 pair would do just fine when they found out the
money would have to come out of their own pocket.
What I've been talking about up to now is just spending and
saving. There is a whole lot more that our kids need to know
than that. They need to learn how to budget their money,
effectively manage a checking account, know how to apply for
loans and what they can expect to pay for the priviledge of
using someone else's money, learn what they have to do to
make theirselves eligible for loans, how to control impulse
buying and the list goes on and on.
One other suggestion that I have is to get the kids involved
in your finances. No, they shouldn't have any control, but
they need to find out just how hard it can be to keep everything
going financially. It may even show them why you say no to
that $80 pair of Nikes.
It's not too late for our generation to get control of our money
but, for many of us, it has been a struggle from day one.
Wouldn't it be great if we could save our kids from going
through what we had to. All it takes is knowledge and the
willingness to pass it on to our kids and grandkids.
I have put together several links that may help you teach your
kids what they will need to know about their money. I hope they
help:
http://www.homemoneyhelp.com/BBOonline.html The Complete
Budget and Bill Organizer
http://www.homemoneyhelp.com/articlearchive.html Several
Articles That Might help
http://www.kidsmoney.org/KidsMoney.org
http://www.metlife.com/Lifeadvice/Money/Docs/kidintro.html Helping Your Child Understand Money
http://www.makingallowances.com/index-fs.htm Making
Allowances
http://familyeducation.com/subchannel/0,2794,65-189,00.html Kids & Money
Terry Rigg is the author of Living Within Your Means - The Easy
Way http://www.homemoneyhelp.com/ebookadpage.html and editor
of The FREE Budget Stretcher Newsletter and Budget Stretcher
web site http://www.homemoneyhelp.com. He has 25 years of
experience counseling individuals and families concerning their
personal finances.
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