Home with the Kids Newsletter August 9, 2005

The Editor's Desk - From Beneath the Clutter
Feature Article - Family Management Tip #1: Getting Your Family to Pitch In
What's happening on the discussion boards?
Guest Article - Think Like Your Kids - And Understand Them More
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The Editor's Desk - From Beneath the Clutter

One of the things I enjoy the most about working from home is that it serves as inspiration for others to try to do the same. It's so easy to say it's impossible to do until you know someone who is doing it.

I spent part of Sunday this weekend talking with my Dad about getting started with some websites. I think he has some great ideas, now we just have to get them implemented and figure out the best way for him to earn money from them. They aren't easy money topics at all, but done right I feel confident he'll earn some good money.

We had a lot of fun just visiting too, which took the pressure off from trying to explain exactly what I do. So much of what I do isn't easy to show, although we did go over how he can see what products there are to sell, looked for competition and so forth, but really, a lot of it comes down to doing research and figuring out what people will look for. From there, it's a lot of site building and getting well listed in the search engines, but all the details aren't exactly simple, and after this weekend I can definitely say it takes more than a day to explain it all, so we'll be doing a lot of emailing back and forth while he learns, I'm sure.

Don't forget, you can contribute your articles or tips anytime for consideration. Just use the contact form.

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Feature Article

Family Management Tip #1: Getting Your Family to Pitch In

Family life is busy. It's hard enough to manage your own time, but in a family you're responsible for managing everyone's time. And like any other team, your family cannot succeed without teamwork. Problem is, even though you may be close to your family members, they still tend to take a lot of things for granted. It's not like you're facing a competing team in a match everyday, so how do you rally the troops to keep your family running smoothly?

If you're like the typical household organizer, you're barely getting through a day without goading or reminding your spouse, the babysitter, or the kids several times about what chore or homework or sports activity they're supposed to be doing or not. And, on occasion, either you or your spouse ends up at wrong place or the wrong time, and there is enough frustration to go all around. Surely, there's got to be a better way!

There is. It's called family management. No doubt, love is the basis for a happy family. But a little management will go a long way in keeping that institution running smoothly.

Family Management ought to be taught in school. These days, there are some schools offering programs on family management, and that's a good thing. Most of us have never even thought of the term even though we may deal with the issues every day. Some of us are probably even good family managers!

If you take a step back and think about everyday life, it offers some of the same challenges any team of unconnected individuals will come to face if they need to live in close quarters and work towards some common goals. In other words, workgroups everywhere face almost exactly the same set of challenges that a family faces. Workgroups spend a lot of time and resources towards managing teamwork. Families generally don't, and they should.

The UCLA Center for Everyday Living noted in a recently concluded study that between two careers and parenting, there are three jobs, but only two people to run them. I'd add that there's a fourth job - household management. Keeping all these things running smoothly and retaining your sanity requires efficient management.

Whether you're running a busy household or managing a small team, what you need do to keep things running smoothly are the same:

* Make daily, weekly, and monthly to-do lists for everyone
* Set expectations
* Monitor progress and provide frequent feedback
* Continually educate, motivate, and inspire

Get yourself a good family organizer. There are several available. There are paper-based solutions and software-based solutions (like the one my company, Mediabee, makes). Whichever solution you pick, be sure that it meets all of the requirements above.

But before you implement the solution, remember, you must get your family's buy-in first. Not doing so would be to set yourself up for failure. It is human nature to concentrate on your own priorities, and your spouse and kids are human. (So are you as a matter of fact.) The other, often overlooked, fact is, men, women, and children are differently constructed and their priorities tend to be dramatically different. Hence the need for everyone to get on the same page as you start to put this solution into practice.

Here are the things to discuss as put this system in place:

Why the system is needed.

Emphasize the positive aspects of what you're trying to achieve: to be a healthy and happy family. You'd think this should be obvious, but, as I said, people think differently, even if they're your own family. Each family's situation is unique, so you'll have to discuss the situation appropriately. Bottomline: everybody has to do their part of the required chores, whether or not they think it is a priority for them, or the "family" isn't going to be happy. For example, the kids probably love take-out meals, but you're not happy when you can't give them healthy home-cooked meals. Everyone's basic needs have to be met for the family to be happy and healthy.

What are the rewards for following the system.

This is the neat part. If everyone pitches in even for things they don't consider a priority, then they're likely to get more time for what they'd rather be doing (within limits, of course).

What is required of each person.

This is the actual mechanics of splitting the tasks between people.

Your family organizer should allow you to easily delegate routine tasks to each member of your household. They should have a mechanism to indicate that they are doing their tasks on a regular basis. You can associate a reward system - whether it's allowance money or getting to watch their favorite show - with the amount of progress they're making.

Putting this system in place can be very rewarding, because it brings the family closer together as a team, and everyone understands each other better. Whether or not you actually stick with the system for the long haul will depend on how successful you were at getting your family's buy-in. So plan this carefully, and be sure to have a system that periodically rewards good behavior. It worked for my family and I'm sure it can for yours too.

Saro Saravanan is the Founder-CEO of Mediabee, which makes Mediabee Family Dashboard, a free family management tool built to address the needs of busy families and their organizers. In the past, he was the chief architect who launched Fidelity NetBenefits. Be sure to read the rest of his articles from this series on Family Management. Download Mediabee Family Dashboard today at http://mediabee.com and
streamline your family life.

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Guest Article

Think Like Your Kids - And Understand Them More

Seven-year old Michael was on a school trip to a Wildlife Centre in Central Scotland. It was near the end of the day and they were in the Gift Shop before boarding the bus for the journey home.

Poor Michael! He couldn't resist the array of lollipops and chocolate animals that beckoned to him. He chose one and was about to pay for it with his last few pennies.

His teacher, a kindly soul with not long before retirement, noticed him. "Have you bought something for your Mum yet, Michael?"

Michael lowered his head in shame! Gently, the teacher took the candy bar from him and replaced it on the shelf.

She walked to another display and selected a small figure made from cheap plastic. "Why not take this for her? You've got just enough money left."

Years have now passed.

Michael is all grown up and has left home, but the figurine still has pride of place in his mum's display cabinet.

Michael still recalls the day he learned an important lesson: "The figure was made of cheap plastic, but my Mum couldn't have treasured it more had it been made of silver, gold or even platinum."

Sometimes we as parents and adults lose our sense of perspective, don't we? What may seem trivial and unimportant to us, can mean so much to a child.

We can learn a useful parenting tip from Michael's mum. The gift had little or no monetary value, but was given - albeit with a gentle nudge from the teacher! - with generosity and a certain amount of personal sacrifice. And by displaying it for years, Michael's mum showed her appreciation of that.

This reminds me of a conference I once attended.

There was a blue rug on the floor and the participants were asked to gather round. It was an exercise in perception, we were told.

The speaker threw a small woollen ball onto the rug. It was exactly the same colour and was made from the same material - so it blended in and seemed to disappear.

'Now find it,' was the instruction. Everyone peered and peered without success, until someone - not me! - got down on his knees and looked from ground level.

Bingo! There was the profile of the ball, rising above the surface of the mat.

Call it 'thinking outside the box' or whatever - but very often problems can be solved by looking at them from another perspective or dimension.

When we learn to think like our children, when we 'get down to their level', when we master the art of getting inside their heads and seeing life from their point of view, the task of raising children becomes much easier - to say nothing of more enjoyable and fulfilling.

Happy parenting!

Frank McGinty's writes motivational books for both parents and teenagers. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html