Home with the Kids Newsletter October 25, 2005

The Editor's Desk - From Beneath the Clutter
Feature Article - 7 Secrets of a Happy Marriage
What's happening on the discussion boards?
Guest Article - Every Family Should Have a Website
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The Editor's Desk - From Beneath the Clutter

Hosting companies! It's always such fun when your site has a problem and the hosting company doesn't know why - after all, it was working earlier.

At least in this case I can be pretty sure the problem was caught fairly early on, as it was causing most of my pages to only display the background! Not exactly visitor friendly. But I can see that people were getting through the site earlier today, so I know the issue was caught early on. But as I write this, two hours since the problem was noticed by my mother, they still don't know what caused it. Fortunately, I was able to patch things so the site will work, and will continue to do so unless something REALLY strange happens, but it's frustrating to have to fix things myself.

On a lighter note, I'm having fun getting ready for Halloween. We went to a Renaissance Faire this weekend and bought garb for Ariel for her Halloween costume, which simply delights her. She looks so cute! The blouse is a few sizes too big for her, but that just means she'll be able to use it for a few years. The skirt, on the other hand, is exactly her length, which means in future years it will be an overskirt. But the color is absolutely perfect on her! Ariel was disappointed in the Renaissance Faire, though. When she heard the word "fair" she assumed there would be rides....

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Feature Article

7 Secrets of a Happy Marriage

Do you believe in falling in love? In finding that "special someone" who is your other half, your soulmate? Do you dream of finding the one person in all the world who will understand you, love you and be there for you, no matter what? If so, you're not alone. In fact, statistics show that about 90% of adults will get married at least once in their lives.

As a society, we've become so conditioned to the fairy tale of "Happily Ever After" that many people actually feel as if their life is lacking something if they're not a part of a couple.

But sadly, just like in the movies, most peoples' thoughts seem to stop at the part when the music swells and the happy couple says "I do" and loses themselves in that first magic kiss as husband and wife. They don't think about what happens after the honeymoon.

Considering that about 43% of all marriages in the U.S. ends in divorce, perhaps a class on the realities of building and maintaining a strong healthy marriage should become required before signing on the dotted line of a marriage license.

Having a happy marriage doesn't just happen by accident. It doesn't happen because you're "in love" or "perfect" for each other. Marriage is a partnership, and like any partnership, it takes commitment, dedication and hard work to help it to grow strong.

Here are some tips given by couples whose marriages are strong and healthy. Follow them, adapt them to work in your own marriage, and you'll be on your way to having what we all want -- a happy marriage!

1. Communicate. It's important that you keep the lines of communication open. Especially when things go wrong. There are so many outside influences that can affect a marriage -- jobs, family, friends, hobbies, education, church. If you're suddenly not being able to spend time together, or you're fighting about money, it's especially important to talk about what's going on.

2. Listen. It's a sad fact that we are often more polite to strangers than we are to the people we love the most. If your spouse is trying to talk to you, whether it's to find out what you want for dinner, to tell you about their day, or to discuss a problem in your marriage, give them the same courtesy you'd give a complete stranger, and LISTEN! Don't try to finish their sentences, don't try to solve their problems, and don't ever say, "I told you so!" Here's an especially apt poem, written by Ogden Nash:

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the wedding cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

3. Create rituals and family traditions. Every successful couple has their own private rituals - things they do that has a special meaning just to them. So whether it's getting your spouse coffee every morning, a special touch that means "I love you", or creating couple signals for "Let's get out of here, or "No, I don't want to buy a timeshare for $95,000!" find your own. Remember some of your favorite childhood family traditions, and incorporate them or start new ones in your own couple. Someday, you'll look back on each time as a treasured memory.

4. Go on a date. Couples who have been together for thirty, forty and even fifty years or more say that one of the things that has kept their marriage strong is going out on a "date" with their spouse on a regular basis. If money is tight, try taking a walk together, going to a dollar movie, or even to a drive-in. Spending quality "couple-time" helps to reinforce the special feelings that made you fall in love with each other in the first place.

5. Agree on money matters early. Amazingly, many couples never discuss money except in the most superficial ways until after they're married. One of the leading causes of arguments in marriages is because of a difference in how money is handled in the couple. Before you walk down the isle, discuss your feelings about things like credit, paying bills and saving money. Talk about how you will pay expenses, and who will handle the money. Finding out after the fact that you have major differences is only going to lead to long term problems.

6. Love and Respect. No matter what happens outside of your marriage, it's vital that you and your spouse always treat each other with love and respect. There are some simple rules that have worked for couples for the last 80 years that still apply today. They include: Never go to bed angry. Kiss each other every time you come home, or before going out. Say "I love you" every single day. Mind your manners, and say "Please" and "Thank-you". Do something for the one you love every day. Just because. Occasionally write love letters to each other. Laugh at his/her jokes, no matter how bad they are, or how often you've heard them. Don't sweat the little things. Try something new once in a while.

7. Maintain a commitment to your marriage. This can be especially difficult today, but it's important that you put your marriage first. If you're committed to making your marriage a success, and you know that your partner shares your commitment, there's nothing that the two of you can't accomplish.

And you'll be one of the lucky few that have a truly happy marriage!

Author: Mickael Kerenterff. For more information, please visit my website at http://www.SuccessfulMarriageSecretsRevealed.com where you can grab a free e-course about Successful Marriage Secrets. You will Discover How Mary & John Easily Transformed Their Miserable and Lifeless Marriage Relationship into One Filled With LOVE, Happiness, and Excitement!

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Guest Article

Every Family Should Have a Website

Before the Internet the best ways to stay connected with your family and friends, was by telephone, family reunions, and the Christmas newsletter, which recapped the year. This isn't necessarily how it needs to be these days.

Today in this world of instant everything, your family and friends shouldn't have to wait to hear that Samantha went on her first date, and that Bobby caught his first fish in that annual newsletter. You can publish this information on your own family website.

I know what your thinking, I don't need a website to tell Grandma that Bobby caught a fish, I can call her on the phone, or better yet I can send her an email, with a picture of Bobby and little Nemo. Everyone, even Grandma has email these days and I find it very convenient and thoughtless to send out an email to everyone.

Yes, I agree email is very convenient and anyone can get a free account these days. But lets think about that picture you attached in the message, what happens to that priceless picture of Bobby holding up his fishing pole with a big proud smile on his face and the look of shock in Nemo's. That picture although very memorable at first glance, gets filed away in someone's inbox and forgotten or worse deleted.

Now imagine storing that picture on your family website, your own personal online photo album (known as a gallery). You know after a while of uploading pictures to your family website, you now have a family history which you can go back to and enjoy forever. You don't have to worry about losing all of your photos in a fire or if Fido decides to eat those pictures like he did with your homework in sixth grade.

Family website are not just about pictures but also about stories and communication. Adding a daily journal (known as a blog) will keep everyone up to date on the latest and greatest accomplishments of Samantha and Bobby which you did not happen to capture with your digital camera. What is great about Blogs are that after you tell everyone about how Samantha made you place that "Honor Student of the Week" sticker on your brand new mini-van, your friends can make fun of the fact that you actually bought a mini-van in the comments section for that post.

Communication is also a valuable asset of a family website. Along with the benefits of having giving Samantha and Bobby their own email address, which by the way you can manage, you can also give Grandma and Uncle Fred their own email addresses also. There really is no reason why the whole family cannot have an email address like bobby@yourlastname.com or similar.

Although email is a great way to communicate there are also other ways. You can set-up a secure or password protected calendar, which could be public or private. You can set-up everyone you want with their personal calendar and have them all sync into a main family calendar. Imagine your spouse keeping track of the kids' appointments so you can just glance at today and know you have to pick up Bobby from his new anglers meeting at 5:30.

Now you may think that you could never possibly afford or have the technical skills to do all of this on your own, well you are wrong. If you find a website hosting provider who allows you to install open source software, all of these applications are available to you free of charge. You can get a free blog, gallery and calendar set up in no time. Here is a hint, when looking for a website hosting provider look for one that offers "Fantastico". Fantastico is a very good auto-installer of open source software, and is very easy to use. If you would rather not bother doing the install ask your website hosting provider to install these applications for you. In most cases they will for a small set-up fee or they may even do it for free.

Having a family website can be a fun and rewarding experience which may end up being an indispensable part of your day to day activities. Not only will your family website encourage communication between your friends and family but it will also serve as a way to keep all of those precious moments alive for a very long time.

Jeff Hoffman is president of Doozy Website Hosting, a professional website hosting provider specializing in small business and family website hosting services. Jeff is also an award winning website designer and multi media specialist with over 9 years experience. You can contact Jeff at his company website at http://www.doozyhosting.com for more details.