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The Editor's Desk - From Beneath the Clutter
Feature Article - Why Limit Yourself By What Others Are Doing?
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Is summer really almost over? I can't believe school is getting ready to start already.
Ariel's preschool starts August 25. Yes, that is a Friday. It's just for an hour and a half, more of an orientation than an actual class, I suspect.
We went shopping today for a new backpack and lunch bag for her. That's pretty redundant at her age, since class only lasts three hours and she only needs to bring a snack, but she uses the backpack for other things too, so it's not really a problem picking up a new one. I couldn't believe how completely picked over the lunch bags were.
There was still a good selection of backpacks, but for the lunch bags we had a choice of a plain color, Bratz, Hello Kitty or a Supergirl style. The rest were more for boys, and Ariel refuses to have anything to do with things that might be for boys right now. Won't even wear blue shirts because blue is just for boys. Good thing she doesn't complain about blue jeans.
Shopping for school supplies is a bit tricky this year. Both the local Target and the local Walmart are remodeling. Walmart's just a disaster area, with many departments in two or three different spots that bear no relation to where they used to be. Target merely shrunk their selection in a couple categories and moved a few things a small amount.
At least it's done now.
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It’s natural to compare ourselves with others to a certain extent. You look at someone else and wish you could be doing as well as they are. But did you ever stop to think that you are limiting yourself by doing so?
This is especially common for at home parents. You see how well your friend’s children are doing in school and wish yours would do the same. You note with pride when your children are doing better.
Is that really worthwhile? Your children and hers are very different individuals. Think about how much you hated to be compared with friends or siblings. It’s better to pay attention to what your children are good at than to worry about what someone else is better at.
If you run a home business, you’re probably limiting yourself by comparing yourself to others as well. Sure, you may have decided to get started after seeing how much someone else was earning, the home they bought, the cars, the vacations....
So what?
Don’t worry so much about how much better they’re doing. Spend more time figuring out how to make the most of the skills you have and improve them. Being envious can be motivation, but it can also waste a tremendous amount of time.
Take a look at what is challenging you and figure out how to work through it. There can be all kinds of problems. Some are easily fixed while others are not. There’s no good cure other than time for small children underfoot, after all!
If a problem can be fixed, however, it’s well worth the time. Talk to your husband if he’s making things more difficult for you. Figure out ways to keep the kids busy. Learn to manage your time better.
I can tell you that I’ve gone through times where it was very hard to find time for my business and times where I had plenty. Last year at this time I was coping with at least two appointments every week for my son, who was wearing a helmet to fix his craniosynostosis. I don’t know how a mom working outside the home would have managed it, but working at home gave me the flexibility I needed. But I sure lost a lot of good working time giving him the care I needed, and it was frustrating seeing other people talk about improving their businesses.
We don’t all have to be supermom. We don’t have to keep perfect homes, cook perfect meals, raise perfect kids while volunteering and running successful home businesses. Life generally doesn’t work out like that. Stop paying attention to the people who seem to life that way and pay attention to what you want to achieve.
Stephanie Foster is the owner of Home with the Kids, a resource that knows that there's more to staying home with your family than just business. For more stay at home tips, visit the site at http://www.homewiththekids.com/ and subscribe to the free newsletter.
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