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Feature Article - Is Your Marriage in The Red? 8 Principles to Keep Your Vow Till Debt Due Us Part
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Our late Spring Break is over now. It just seems so strange to have Ariel's school have the break so much later than I would have expected, but it was probably nice for those who traveled. We didn't do much - Ariel's cold lasted pretty much the entire time.
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Here are 8 Pina Principles to sidestep obstacles, crossover financially, and win in your marriage:
1 - Use Your Strengths Typically every marriage has a spender and a saver. Generally one person is better at saving. The saver can view the spender as immature and irresponsible. On the other hand, the spender sees the saver as too frugal and a dream killer. Instead of letting it divide you, use the strength of the saver to stick to your financial savings plan and build financial security for the family.
2 - Trim the Excess Fat The average household carries about $10k in credit card debt. To begin eliminating excessive debts you need more money to conquer the habits that enslaved you. You can gain more money by reducing the "extras" and your living expenses. Cut out the monthly shopping sprees, eating out at extravagant restaurants, stop loaning family and friends money, and increase your insurance deductibles. We had to give up going to Starbucks and Stop & Shop everyday and purchase a home warranty to alleviate unexpected home repair costs. Where can you slash costs? Every little bit adds up and can go towards paying extra to eliminate your debt.
3 - Be a Team According to a Harris Interactive survey, only 50% of couples maintain combined accounts while 18% keep separate bank accounts. Wow! Only half were team players with their spouse. To win financially utilize a team approach. One thing that has always been true for my husband Stanley and I is that what I have is his and whatever he has is mine. So when I wasn't working, he dipped into his 401k savings repeatedly for our expenses and when he wasn't working, I did the same and carried the load financially. If I ate, he ate. When I paid "my bills," "his bills" were paid in tandem. If I treated myself to something special, I treated him as well. This set the tone for us, in the sense we never fought about this is "my money" or that is your bill. After all, arguing is not going to reduce your monthly debt!
4 - What's the Grand Total? As Stanley and I began to take steps to become financially free, we identified our total debt amount. I'll never forget that day. I called Stanley on the cell phone and said, "What do you think our total debt is?" He guessed a couple of numbers and neither of them were accurate. I couldn't believe the number either. Why? Because we constantly guesstimated our debt by saying it's about $20k or we don't have a lot of debt only $25k. It was neither. The truth about your total debt will set you free. Find out your grand total and use it to mobilize your debt free campaign.
5 - Get a Grip Get a grip and keep track of your money and budget. It can be as simple as an Excel spreadsheet to track income and expenses or a software package such as Microsoft Money or Intuit's Quicken.
6 - Talk, Talk, Talk Find a way to communicate in a healthy manner about your family's financial plan and goals. As we know, money can be the number one stressor in marriage. It is what some couples fight about the most. Many of these fights are the result of unclear or unspoken expectations. We strongly urge you to block off time for financial planning and discussions to track progress or lack thereof.
7 - Move Forward Now I shoulda did "x" or I woulda did "y" isn't gonna get you free in your finances. It's done now. Don't pout about it, blame your partner, or let it paralyze you into inactivity. Think of it like this, the longer you do nothing, the longer you stay in bondage. Commit to moving forward now.
8 - Fess Up You need help with your finances. Admit it...things have snowballed into some serious debt and you are in the red. If so, get some help. It could be a combination of a financial planner, securing additional income, or a coach to identify the things you believe about money that are keeping you in debt. In either case talking to an objective professional partner can ease some of the tension.
Being in a financially out of control relationship is no fun and certainly isn't glorious. If you need the professional help I referenced in this article, get it and get financially free. There is help...even some professionals come to your home. So what's your excuse now? Limitlessly free,
Karen M. Pina GOD's Coach
(c) 2007 Gifts Ordained By Direction/Karen M. Pina. All Rights Reserved
Karen M. Pina is a leadership coach. She is the CEO of Gifts Ordained by Direction (www.godscoach.com), a training and coaching practice that addresses everyday leadership issues. Karen is the author of "Leadership FITness" (www.fit-leaders.com). You can get FIT physically, financially, and spiritually by picking up a copy of the book.
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