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The Editor's Desk - From Beneath the Clutter
Feature Article - Making Plans for Mom to Stay at Home
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Is school out for your kids yet? My daughter has just over a week to go. Yesterday was my last day to volunteer in her classroom, although I wouldn't know it to look at my schedule. Field trip Wednesday, class potluck next Monday, last day of class next Wednesday. But at least we've survived another year.
Ariel has suddenly become determined to set up play dates with classmates - any classmate will do, it just depends on who comes walking out around the time we're leaving. She's having trouble with the concept that these things can take planning, but we're getting ideas as to who has a fairly flexible schedule and might consider it. Can't have her too lonely all summer, after all!
I also wanted to reassure those of you who were concerned about last week's ad for The 7 Great Lies of Network Marketing. I still have no intention of bombarding you with ads for various companies. However, I do like their product and felt it was worth mentioning. I still feel that way.
I will only do promotions of that sort when I feel the product is worthwhile. For those of you who have been on the list a while, you know how rare that is. I expect it to continue to be quite rare.
Don't forget, you can contribute your articles or tips anytime for consideration. Just use the contact form.
Having at least one parent stay at home is very important to many families, especially when the children are young. And most often it is the mother who chooses to stay at home, although stay at home dads are becoming more and more common. No matter which stays home, it requires planning to make the adjustment for everyone easier.
The one thing that immediately leaps to mind is that the family will have to do its best to live on a single income. This is true in most cases, although sometimes a stay at home mom or dad can earn enough from home to make the difference minimal... or even improve matters.
Financial matters can be tough. It is possible for a family to live on a single income in many cases, but it almost always requires significant sacrifice. No grand vacations. No keeping up with the latest tech toys. No shopping on a whim.
These may be replaced by coupon clipping, eating at home, and simple vacations. If you're going to have to make big lifestyle changes, it is best to start the financial ones before one parent starts staying at home. This gives the family the chance to understand some of the implications right away.
But stay at home moms and dads also have to deal with tremendous social isolation. It is incredibly difficult to find friends when you're at home. No more casual office gossip. Lunch out with friends becomes a rarity. It's tough.
Expectations must also be managed. Is a perfectly kept home expected? What will the balance of responsibilities be when both parents are at home? What about time off for each?
All of these factors are things which must be considered and discussed beforehand. Disagreeing about responsibilities once things get going can only add to the tensions.
One thing you can try that can help with expectations is to have the parent who will not be staying home with the kids try it for a day. The stay at home parent can go do something else for the day, while the other does something outside of the house for a day. While it's still not the same as doing the job seven days a week, it can help to give insight into how the day really goes for a stay at home parent.
Being a stay at home mom or dad is not for everyone or every family. Quite a bit depends on family dynamics and family income. But for those who can do it and enjoy it, few experiences are quite so rewarding on so many levels.
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