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The Editor's Desk - From Beneath the Clutter
Feature Article - How To Get Cooperation From A Strong Willed Child - 5 Useful Tips
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Phew! Survived my daughter's 6th birthday. I learned an interesting thing, though. After school birthday parties can actually work pretty well. The kids were a bit tired from school, so they were generally well behaved and by the end of the party had settled down to coloring. Only catch was having to watch a couple of the kids until their parents got off work, but even that went well.
And they all had a blast!
Getting cooperation from strong willed children can be extremely difficult at times. You know you have a strong willed child if you constantly feel angry about their behaviour.
From all the reading I have done on the subject I have found the following 5 tips to be very helpful in getting my children to cooperate. Try them on your child and you should see an improvement.
1. Tell them what you will do
Most of the time parents tell their children what they should do. "Pick up your toys". "Get out of bed". "Come to the table" etc. Rather then tell children what they should do, tell them what you will do. For example "I will listen to you when you have calmed down". "I'll serve dinner when you are at the table".
2. Choices
Some children just like to make a decision themselves. Telling them what to do takes control away. Give them a choice between two ways of acting and they will choose one because they are in control. For example "You can stay inside if you are quiet". If you want to make noise you can go outside".
3. The broken record
Some kids try to defeat you with their arguments. Don't get involved in an argument of a child's making, particularly if it is about a routine or established rule. Basically, state your instruction and then keep repeating it despite your child's attempts to engage you in an argument.
For example,
Parent: "It's time for bed"
Child: "But I don't want to"
Parent: "It's time for bed".
Child: "But I'm not tired".
Parent: It's time for bed"
4. The when.......then statement
Are you fed up of always saying no to your child?. Then try using the when....then statement such as: "When you have cleaned your room then you can turn on the TV". This statement puts the onus on your child to cooperate. It is not a bribe. It is placing the pleasant after the less pleasant. In effect, you are saying you can have the good things once the bad things are done.
5. Inviting cooperation
Most children (mine included!) hate being told what to do. They like to have their own way. They respond less to being told and more to being asked. So when you want their cooperation ask, don't tell. For example, "Can you help me out by helping me empty the dishwasher?"
So there you have 5 tips that may help you get a little bit more cooperation from your child.
And you what they say, "every little bit helps!".
Karen Cummins is a full time mother of two great children. She writes on varoius topics relating to children. You can visit her blog at http://www.child-matters.blogspot.com to see articles, information and resources on different matters relating to raising children. Visit now for your FREE ebooks. More free ebooks coming soon!
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