Last Updated May 21st, 2007

Division of Labor

Housework is one of those things that can become a sore point in a marriage, especially when one parent stays at home. One guess who probably gets stuck doing much of the housework, even if the at home parent works at home.

Yes, my home is pretty typical.

My husband has improved somewhat through the years. Still not where I would like him to be, but getting there. If I want the dishes done, all I have to do is let them pile up in the sink for at least 24 hours. Then I have about a 50/50 chance that he will finally do them. Easy, no?

Yeah, right. We all know how hard it is to look at a sinkful of dirty dishes.

Seriously, if I really want my husband to help around the house, all I have to do is ask. It may take him a half hour to an hour to get started because he’s deep in a computer game and doesn’t want to hit pause, but it does get done. And yes, the wait does drive me nuts, although I cope better with it now that I recognize that he generally does take the action I asked for. Read the rest of this entry »

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post may be 'affiliate links.' This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission.

Last Updated March 10th, 2007

Romance and the Stay at Home Mom

It can be hard feeling romantic after spending all day with the kids. You’re often worn out by the time your husband gets home, and there are probably still the dinner dishes to be done and the kids to get ready for bed. It’s often no wonder romance falls by the wayside.

But if you work at it you can restore the romantic aspects of your relationship.

If sheer exhaustion is a part of the problem, make sure your husband understands that. And then tell him if you need more help when he’s at home. His job has definite hours. Yours does too if you consider 24/7/365 definite. Make sure these things are well balanced.

That doesn’t mean hand your husband a long list of chores the minute he walks in the door, of course. But things like doing the dishes together and putting the kids to bed together are quite reasonable to ask.

Take the time for touch in your relationship. After the kids are in bed, haul out the massage oils and take turns massaging one another. Even if you’re too tired for more than massage, you will both feel better for it.

If you have a fireplace, take advantage of it. Light up a fire and cuddle up together in front of it. No TV, no interruptions. Chocolate covered strawberries are a nice touch for this one.

If you can get the kids out of the house, plan a special dinner for just the two of you. Haul out the good china you got for your wedding but rarely use. Make something special for dinner. Light candles. Dress for it. Try to have everything ready before he gets home. And try to have most of the cooking mess cleaned up. You don’t want dirty dishes to ruin the mood.

If you pack his lunch, leave little love notes in it. If he doesn’t, how about sneaking a note into his pocket or wallet. Just a little something to make him smile, nothing that would embarrass either of you should a coworker get a glance.

eBooks with Still More Ideas…

50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships

1000 Questions for Couples

300 Creative Dates

How long has it been since the two of you went on a date?

If babysitters for the kids are hard to come by, make a date at home. Put on some favorite songs and dance together. Watch a romantic movie. Go outside and watch the sunset.

Don’t forget to kiss each other every day. Really kiss, not just a peck on the cheek. And tell each other “I love you” every time you think of it.

It can be tough keeping those romantic feelings going when you have children, rougher when you spend your entire day caring for them and just feel wiped out. But romance does not need to disappear from your marriage just because of that. Take the time and show your husband that a stay at home mom still knows her romance.

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post may be 'affiliate links.' This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission.

Last Updated July 28th, 2006

Is Your Marriage Still Fun?

One of the most common complaints I see on my forum about marriages is that sometimes they just aren’t fun anymore. You and your spouse get into such a routine that you forget to just enjoy being with one another.

It doesn’t have to be that way. With a little effort, you can put the fun right back into your marriage.

One of the first things to do is look at how you used to have fun together and why you stopped. In many cases, it’s simply the strain of raising a family. It takes a lot of work, I know, and my husband and I are just as guilty as any other couple of forgetting to have fun together, just the two of us.

You share a lot of great memories, however, and you can do similar things even when you have children and a really tight budget.

A romantic date doesn’t have to cost a bunch of money. Have a picnic on the beach or at a beautiful park. Go for a walk.

Don’t have the money for a babysitter? Make time for each other after the kids are in bed. Turn off the computer! Rent a romantic movie, have a picnic in the backyard or a candlelit dinner. Trade massages. You don’t have to spend a fortune to enjoy one another’s company again.

[tags]marriage, romance, bringing back fun into marriage, romance on a budget[/tags]

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post may be 'affiliate links.' This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission.

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