It’s interesting watching my daughter learn to interact well with other children. She’s the classic type A personality and extremely dominant. It gives her some trouble when she wants to play with other kids, because she doesn’t understand why they don’t just obey her.
Fortunately, she can also be extremely sweet. And even that tendency to want to dominate helps sometimes; there’s an autistic boy who comes to her class once or twice a week, and his teachers adore her because she gets him to do more than he would do on his own, and the other kids don’t play with him as much as she does.
We talk with her regularly about being a good friend to her classmates. We talk about what she’s doing and asking if she would like it if others did the same to her. Doesn’t change her behavior very much, but I think we are starting to get through to her.
I know it’s just a matter of time before she learns how to change her bossy attitude to something her friends will appreciate. She wants to lead, but just doesn’t know how.
I’m hoping that the work we’ve done talking to her will help her soon. I know it bothers her that many of her classmates aren’t interested in playing with her because she only wants to do things her way. She’s just going to have to learn the hard way that if you want to do that, you have to make it interesting to the other kids. And I feel confident that she will get there.
If you’re dealing with similar problems, I really recommend talking about how such behavior makes others feel. Young children don’t have much empathy for others, but you can encourage them along that path by leading them. Kids do understand how they would feel at such times; they just need to realize that others feel the same.
And of course I’m curious about how my fellow parents handle these things.
[tags]children,kids,friendship,school,playing together,bossy kids[/tags]