Saying "No"

I know my kids get frustrated sometimes hearing the word “no”. I’m also sure there are times they hear “yes” more often than they should. It’s tough being strict enough without overdoing it.

One of the things I’ve noticed is that no matter how hard you try to be fair, when you have more than one child each will be treated a little differently. I consider this quite reasonable, actually. What you allow each child to do and to have depends on their age and needs.

For me, saying no to my son can be harder. It’s not that I want to spoil him, it’s that he’s still only talking a little bit, so he has to put a lot more effort into asking for things (mostly by dragging me and pointing), so he asks for less.

That doesn’t mean I don’t say no to him. He’s the kid who gets sad with his entire body when his wants are denied. It’s cute in a lot of ways, of course, and he gets over it pretty easily most times.

My daughter, on the other hand, is at that stage where she wants it ALL. And she asks over and over to see if she can get the answer to change. We’re pretty careful about not allowing that to happen as much as possible.

I think the trick is to make sure that your children know and understand what the rules are. If you’re consistent they may say you’re too strict, but they’ll also follow your rules. You have to decide how much they can play wildly in the house, and what they should do outside. What snack foods will you allow? How much television?

All of these will vary from family to family, and even within reason from child to child. You can’t expect a 2 year old and a 5 year old to obey all the same rules. Their needs will be somewhat different just because of the age difference.

What kinds of rules do you find to be most effective in your home? Do you consider yourself a strict parent or a lenient one?

[tags]family,kids,rules,saying no,parents,strict parents,lenient parents[/tags]