Last Updated June 24th, 2019

21 Steps To Make Being A Stay At Home Mom Or Dad Work Financially

21 Steps To Make Being A Stay At Home Mom Or Dad Work Financially

For some families, being a stay at home mom or dad just happens. It’s not always planned. There’s just the sudden realization that having mom or dad stay home makes sense. Maybe there’s a layoff while she’s pregnant or the kids are young, or the sudden realization that childcare costs more than one parent’s job brings in. If you aren’t prepared, going from two incomes to one can be quite a shock.

Others know from early on that they’re going to be a stay at home mom or dad. The income may not even be a part of the decision as such; it can be based more on the desire to have one parent at home. Still if the family doesn’t prepare financially for the changes, things can get difficult.

This is why it’s so important to plan before your family goes to a single income due to one parent staying at home if at all possible. You can avoid some nasty financial surprises if you know how these things may go.

1. Practice living on one income first.

If the decision to have one parent stay home with the kids is a deliberate one, not one caused by circumstance, try living as though your family only has a single income for a time while both parents continue to work. Not only will this show you how things are going to be, it allows you to save up the money from the second income. A little financial padding is always a good thing to have.

2. Review your finances.

You can do this even if staying at home wasn’t planned in advance. Calculate all your living expenses – rent, food, utilities, vehicles, taxes, insurance and so forth. Make sure the income of the parent who continues to work will be enough to pay all your regular expenses… ideally with some left over for savings.

Don’t be too discouraged if you don’t see right away how to make things work on a single income. It’s common to need to make sacrifices.

3. Cut down on monthly bills.

Rethink your monthly bills where possible. Are you on the right plan for your cable TV/internet? Do you really need it? Can you cut down on your cell phone plans (consider what early cancellation fees will do)? What other monthly expenses can you cut down?

stay at home parent budget

You can cut your electric bill by changing where your thermostat is set. Let your home get a little warmer in summer and cooler in winter. Don’t overdo it, but do remember that you can adapt to a greater temperature range than you may normally use.

You may even want to decide if going solar is right for you. If your bills are high enough, it can save money.

The great thing about cutting back on monthly bills is that once you’ve decreased a bill, it stays down unless your service provider increases the basic cost. You don’t have to change it every month – just review your needs occasionally and make sure it’s still right for you.

4. Plan for emergencies.

Life never keeps things simple for long. Cars break down. Kids get sick. Parents get sick. Something in the house needs to be repaired or replaced.

If you don’t plan ahead for emergencies, they can ruin all your financial planning. Have some money set aside for those times when things need to be repaired. Have insurance to help out with the things insurance can help with.

I like having a home warranty. It doesn’t save me the whole expense every year, but it ensures that I won’t spend a fortune on repairs. Check with the companies that offer home warranties in your area and make sure that they have a good reputation before signing up. It is NOT cheap, but can be very worthwhile if something goes wrong with a covered item.

5. Avoid credit card debt.

Credit can be a very tempting way to pay for things you can’t afford at the moment. I still have credit card debt to pay off, although things are steadily improving these days. If it weren’t for the debt (taken on for reasons that were generally good at the time, not so much frivolously), we’d easily be living within our income and have money left over to save.

6. Pay off debt.

Beyond credit card debts, there are other debts that can make having a stay at home parent more difficult. Pay off or pay down those student loans, car loans and pay down the mortgage if you have them. The lower you can make those bills, the more flexibility you will have financially.

There is, of course, a balance to be struck between paying off debt and making investments with your money. Choose wisely for your situation.

7. Pick your sacrifices.

Most single income families have to make sacrifices to keep mom or dad at home. Talk as a family about the things you’re willing to sacrifice, and which things you’d prefer to keep.

For example, you may have the habit of going to the movies as a family frequently. That may be fine on two incomes, but can you still afford to do so on one income? You may need to cut back.

8. Look at taxes withheld.

stay at home dad

Take a look at the taxes being withheld from your spouse’s paycheck once your family is down to a single income. The fact that your family is now living on one income means you can probably adjust the withholding so that you get more money now rather than a big tax refund. Big refunds feel like a windfall, but what they really mean is that you didn’t have that money earlier.

9. Talk about money.

Have a talk about your attitudes toward money, especially that only one person will be bringing it in for the family. A lot of tension can come from the bread winning parent feeling as though that money is his or hers, not both of yours. It’s just as important for the stay at home mom or dad to have spending money as it is for the working parent. Don’t let the “I earned it, it’s all mine” attitude ruin things.

There are many different ways to manage family finances, and you should choose the one that works for your family. Some want separate accounts, while others feel that there’s something wrong if you don’t keep all your money in a joint account. Find what works for your situation.

10. Consider or increase life insurance.

The expense of life insurance may seem like an unnecessary extra, but if your family is unfortunate enough to need it, you won’t regret the expense. Should one parent die, whether that’s the working parent or the stay at home one, the money from life insurance can help keep the family going.

11. Discuss how long you’ll stay at home.

What is your plan for being a stay at home parent? Is it just while the kids are babies? Until they go to kindergarten? Until they’re adults? Forever?

What you decide at the start may not be what you want forever. Some find that staying at home isn’t right for them. Some think they’ll only stay home for a while, but find it so good that they want to stick with it always. Some realize that while they love it, the financial aspects aren’t working out and that it’s necessary to go back to work.

However things seem to be going, talk about the stay at home decision occasionally to be sure everyone still considers it to be a good thing and to deal with problems as they come up. Don’t let issues fester.

12. Consider your retirement.

One major problem many long term stay at home parents don’t always take sufficiently into consideration is retirement. Not working for years will impact what you could get from Social Security. If you aren’t saving for your retirement even when you don’t have an income, it could become a problem in later years.

13. Consider part time work or work at home.

Not every family will be able to get by on a single income. My husband and I don’t. I earn pretty good money working at home – enough that it isn’t worthwhile for me to look for an outside the home job even though my kids are all school age and well able to handle most things without me.

make money by working at home

Working at home is a challenge, especially when it comes to getting started. Many jobs won’t work out if your kids are going to distract you. Think carefully when deciding what you want to do. Can your kids be quiet enough that you can do work at home customer service or would you be better off doing something else?

A home business is another good idea, if risky. Not every home business makes money. I like blogging and running my own websites because it’s fun and flexible. The money can vary quite a bit, of course.

Sometimes, a part time job when your spouse can be home is the best way to handle things. A part time job can also be nice for getting time with other adults. If a single income isn’t enough, make sure you find a way to bring in enough extra money so that your family doesn’t have trouble with debt.

14. Consider furthering your education.

Furthering your education can be very important when you’re a stay at home parent looking to return to work someday – or just because you want to learn more about something. If you take online classes, look carefully into the school to make sure it’s a good quality program – there are a lot of low quality schools out there.

An improved education may help you land a better job when you go back to work outside the home. It’s not a guarantee, even from a good school, as there’s still a gap in your paid work history, but it should help.

15. Keep up professional credentials.

Even if you don’t plan to go back to work soon, keep up any professional credentials you may have. If you need to go back to work, even part time, this can be a huge help in getting a better paying position.

16. Keep up professional contacts.

If you left a professional position to stay at home, keeping in contact with old coworkers and other professional contacts can be a huge help if you decide to go back to work. It’s not just about working outside the home – you may be able to use these contacts for freelance or work at home positions if you don’t want a regular position. Keeping your foot in the door can be a huge help if you need to increase your family’s income for any reason.

17. Learn to find bargains.

Knowing how to find bargains on the things you need can be a huge help when you’re a single income family. Seek out ways to save money on the things your family needs, but make sure you don’t buy things you don’t need just because the price was good.

stay at home mom

Clip coupons, go to thrift stores, pay attention to sales in local stores, buy in bulk when appropriate, find out what’s cheaper from programs such as Amazon’s Subscribe and Save. There are many ways to save money that won’t take up more time than you’re willing to give it.

I’m very fond of my local dollar store. It’s one of the few companies that regularly carries fresh produce in its stores. This allows me to keep a good supply of healthy, fresh foods in my home while spending less on them.

Not all dollar stores have produce, unfortunately, but they can have good bargains on other items. They may be worth adding to your shopping routine if you find a good store.

18. Cook more.

Eating home cooked meals is generally far more budget friendly than eating out. If this isn’t already a habit, make it one.

I love my crockpot and my Instant Pot. They’re each useful in their own ways on those busy days when it’s hard to figure out how to make meals at home.

I also buy meats in bulk at Costco, and then freeze them into meals. I don’t do the once a week cooking thing – instead, I prepare multiple meals all at once, including the one I’m cooking that evening. This way I have a number of meals at any time that I need only remember to defrost on time so I can cook it.

19. Learn to do basic home maintenance.

The more repairs you can handle around your home, the less you’ll have to spend on professionals. Painting is relatively easy, a project many people are comfortable with taking on, but you may find that you are capable of handling more than you think.

YouTube videos are great for do-it-yourselfers. If there’s a household repair that you’re willing to try, odds are that there’s a video to guide you through it.

That said, when professional help is called for, get it. A poorly done repair may cost more than the original problem would have if it had been fixed correctly the first time.

20. Don’t be too hard on yourself about mistakes.

It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you make financial mistakes when you stay at home. Maybe you overspend and have to take on some credit card debt. Maybe you didn’t prepare enough for unexpected bills, and ended up having a car repair ruin all your plans.

Whatever happens, take it as a lesson, and don’t be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes, especially when we’re learning.

21. Adjust your plans.

Review your finances regularly. Make changes where things aren’t working or where they could work better. Not every money saving tip will work for every stay at home parent. There may still be times where convenience trumps money saved. On the other hand, you should also be able to find more ways to save money over time that will suit your lifestyle. Just because one thing isn’t working out doesn’t mean something different won’t work either.

Life can change pretty fast. You may be happy being a stay at home mom or dad, but then have to go back to work because your partner lost their job or was injured. Your plans now don’t have to be your plans forever. Be adaptable.

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post may be 'affiliate links.' This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission.

Last Updated April 7th, 2014

The Sad Truth About Stay at Home Mom Regret

The Sad Truth About Stay at Home Mom Regret

Most stay at home moms start out staying at home for very good reasons. Sometimes it’s voluntary – you can afford to do so, and don’t mind the break from your career. You want to raise your kids yourself and not pay for childcare. Other times it’s the best financial move at the time – childcare runs more than you’d earn working outside the home at the time.

Good reasons don’t mean you can avoid regretting it over the long run, however. It’s not at all uncommon for stay at home moms to later find that they regret the decision. What was once a sensible, loving decision has a price in the long run, and paying that price can be painful. Finding a good job in your 40s and 50s, for example, can be very difficult. Dealing with the sudden need to work in the event of your spouse’s death or disability, or if you two should divorce, can be a very unpleasant reality.

What’s The Price?

The price you pay is in your earnings and savings. Staying at home for however many years puts a dent in your career, often a big one. Most stay at home moms eventually return to the workforce, but at a much lower level than where they started out.

If you had a solid professional level career before staying at home, you may have to start out almost fresh. You may have to get more education to catch up with your industry. All this means you won’t be earning as much, and you have less time for promotions and raises to increase your salary. It’s a financial hit well beyond the lost income of the years you weren’t working.

But even if you had a lower paying job you left because it wouldn’t even pay for childcare, your future earnings take a hit when you stay at home. It’s that loss of promotions and experience that can get you.

How Do You Avoid It?

You can avoid these problems with good planning and some good fortune.

My own favorite (I’ve said it before) is working at home. I do well enough at it that the past two years, my income has been higher than my husband’s income. It took some time to get there; I’m no overnight success. Still, running my own business from home and making a good income at it is wonderful, making all the time I’ve spent working up to it worthwhile. Stressful as can be at times – business doesn’t always go the way I’d like it to. But now I know I can do it.

Your solution doesn’t have to be your own business. It can be a work at home job, part time work, freelance work… whatever works for you. I really think the key is making sure you keep some sort of relevant work experience going for the kind of career you’d like when the kids are old enough that you want to go back to work. It may not put you as high on your career ladder as if you’d never stayed home at all, but it probably won’t be as low as if you’d left entirely.

Improving your education as the kids get older is another alternative. Going back to school as an older student has its advantages. Most older students are more serious about their studies, because you really know their value. You can study for the career you’d like to have, not necessarily the one you had before you had kids.

Improving your education also sets a great example for your kids when they’re in school. They’ll see you doing homework and studying, and getting good results for it. That can make an impression, plus you can set yourself on a better career path after.

None of this is easy for most families. I firmly believe, however, that you are a thousand times better off if you consider the problems you might face later in life, so you can prepare for them in advance. There’s no knowing where your life will take you, but you can take steps that may help smooth many troubles out at least some of the way.

Regretting the price you paid to be a stay at home mom doesn’t mean you regret the good parts, of course. Even if being a stay at home parent lands you in difficulty later, remember those good parts. Those memories won’t make future troubles go away, but they have their own value.

I’m not saying all stay at home moms eventually regret their decision. Plenty will be happy they did so for the rest of their lives, despite the price. You’re better off, however, if you know what the price is early on, so you can take control of how you pay it.

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post may be 'affiliate links.' This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission.

Last Updated March 4th, 2010

How Do You Decide Whether to Work Outside the Home or Be a Stay at Home Mom?

Deciding whether to continue with her career or be a stay at home mom can be a painful decision for new mothers, and even for experienced ones. There are two dreams, each pulling you a different way.

One is the dream of always being their for your child. Of handling all the needs of your family at home. Being there for every first. Helping your child learn. Making almost every meal at home and being praised as the perfect mom by your admiring family.

The other is the dream of your career. The work you may love, or the dream that you will someday work your way up to that dream job. Bringing home enough money that your family can have all its needs comfortably met, and enough wants fulfilled to really enjoy life.

How to choose between them? It’s not always a pleasant decision.

Consider Finances First

While not what you may want to be thinking about, your financial situation is vital to whether or not you can be a stay at home mom. Will your family have enough money to get by, or will such a decision leave it struggling?

There’s a lot to consider. What would your family’s financial position be without your income, without cutting costs? What sacrifices are you willing to make? Do you know for certain that you could find a way to work at home to bring in extra money if you needed to?

Don’t forget to consider costs that will automatically be cut if you stay at home. You probably won’t eat out as much. You’ll probably simplify your wardrobe. Your tax situation will change. You won’t be commuting, so your car will be driven less.

If your family can’t make enough cuts to make it on one income, you may be stuck for the time being continuing with your job. If considering other factors makes you desperate to stay at home you can continue to work outside the home while working hard to find a way to bring in an income from home.

Which Do You Really Want?

What you really want from your life is important. Will you really be happy without your career? Changing your identity to “your child’s mommy” is a big change, and not always an easy one. Does that idea bother you?

Of course, even working outside the home a part of your identity quickly changes to “your child’s mommy,” if not right away, then when your child gets older and starts making friends. But it can be harder when you’re a stay at home mom and don’t have an outside the home career to talk about.

On the other hand, you may want to be there all the time for your child, and not have to worry about how you’re going to manage to take time off work when your child needs you. This may be the thing you’ve dreamed about even more than a successful career. Being a stay at home mom may exactly suit what you want from life.

Being financially dependent on your husband isn’t for every mother either. It’s rough sometimes knowing that your family has one income. Never mind that theoretically it’s just as much yours as his. There’s a difference emotionally to a lot of people.

The Needs of Your Child

I’ve put this last, but certainly not least. Sometimes the needs of your child outweighs all other considerations.

For most children, so long as they’re in a good situation they can grow up to be happy, healthy, productive adults whether their mothers stayed at home or put them in daycare. Show your children that you care for them and love them, and your decision can be right either way.

But sometimes things aren’t that simple. There can be health issues creating problems. You can have trouble finding adequate daycare. Things can simply work out sometimes to where you have to find a way, any way, to have one parent stay at home, and most often the mother takes that job on.

Take Time on Your Decision

Deciding whether to work outside the home or be a stay at home mom isn’t something you have to decide overnight most of the time. Take some time. Figure out if it’s going to work for you. Don’t drive yourself crazy, but have reasons for your decision and understand that you may have regrets for whichever path you don’t take. That’s just a part of life.

And enjoy your family!

Disclosure: Some of the links in this post may be 'affiliate links.' This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission.

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