Are You a Good Parent? *Snicker* Yeah, Right! (Yes, right!)

There’s an awful lot of advice out there on how to be a good parent. Everyone knows what you should be doing to raise great kids. Heck, I know what you should be doing to raise great kids. Obviously you’re going to get it wrong when you try to do it all your own way. You need help!

Yeah, right.

The truth is that most of us are pretty good parents most of the time. Not always, and no book, no blog, no expert can make us get it right all of the time. Somehow most of our kids will turn out just fine anyhow.

There are as many parenting styles as there are parents. You’ll have some things you agree with other parents about, and other things you may disagree strongly about. That includes disagreeing about parenting with your spouse. So long as you and your spouse can come to an agreement where it matters, small disagreements aren’t going to be a real problem for your kids.

There are some things I think are important for all parents to remember:

You’re Your Children’s Parent First

Many parents want to be their children’s friend as well as their parent. That’s fine, but you need to be their parent first. Somebody has to be in charge as the kids grow up, and that person shouldn’t be one of the kids.

That probably means the kids won’t always think you’re their friend. Especially when you keep saying “no” to something they really, really want.

I don’t think of myself as my kids’ friend yet. I’m their mother and hopefully confidante. I want them to be able to tell me anything. But friendship is a gift I hope they can give me as adults.

Make Time for Silliness and Fun

Parenting shouldn’t all be serious. You should take time to have fun as a family every day. It doesn’t have to be much. Joke around. Make silly faces. Just do things to make everyone smile.

Don’t Take All the Advice You Get as a Parent

You’re going to be given a lot of advice as a parent. Just because someone tells you something works doesn’t mean you have to try it on your kids.

You know your kids best. You know your parenting style best. If something that works for another family isn’t a match with either of those, you don’t have to do it.

That includes the advice given in whatever your favorite parenting books are. Take the parts that work for your family. You really don’t need the rest.

Remember Your Spouse is Your Partner in Parenting

This can be hard sometimes for at home parents who are the main one to deal with the kids during the week. If you’re married, it’s vital to remember that your spouse needs to help out as a parent when they’re home. It’s good for the kids to see the two of you working together and it gives you a break from being the sole source of discipline for the kids. I don’t know about you, but there are certainly days when I need that break.

You Are a Priority

It’s easy to sacrifice time for yourself as a mom or as a dad. There’s so much to do during the day. But miserable parents aren’t so likely to have happy kids. Kids notice these things.

Take bits of time for yourself. Keep up with your own interests. Sometimes have the family do the thing that interests you, not something that’s focuses 100% on the kids. Take a break.

Parenthood is life changing. It’s time consuming and hard. Don’t let that mean you lose yourself in the process.