I’ve gone over the financial benefits of being a stay at home mom or dad. They can sound pretty good, but they are not the full picture. There are also a number of financial hazards of being a stay at home mom or dad. It’s vital that you know them as well.

Loss Of Income

Obviously, you’re losing a lot of income when you stay at home and don’t work at home. While that loss may be offset by not having to spend money on childcare and such, this is not the complete picture.

There are also lost career opportunities when you’re a stay at home parent. Staying home with the kids for five years means you’re missing out on five years of raises and chances for promotions. It’s five years that you might not be keeping up with your industry well enough to return to the same position as you had before.

This is why it is important for stay at home moms and dads to keep up with their industries or work to improve their educations. Another option is to work at home, whether you telecommute from your old job, find something else that can be done from home or start your own online business, such as a blog.

It can be more difficult to find a job as you get older too, especially if you haven’t worked for a while. Age discrimination is a thing, and it’s very hard to prove.

Working at home part time doesn’t entirely resolve these issues, but it’s a start. Some moms will be fortunate enough to find something that brings in enough money to replace a full time outside the home job, but many others will not. It’s something to consider.

Decreased Savings For Retirement

Few stay at home parents save for retirement, yet it’s just important for them as it is for a parent who works outside the home. It’s hard to save the money when things may be tight already. But the younger you start saving for retirement, the more benefit you will gain from each dollar saved. Vanguard has a great chart on this on their site.

Loss Of Network

Your network of friends and professional contacts can make a huge difference in your career path. When you take a break from working to raise a family, your professional network usually shrinks dramatically. It’s hard to keep in contact with people on a professional level when your lives are in such different places. Plus, you aren’t showing yourself to them as a professional; when they see you, it’s as a parent.

Financial Dependence On Someone Else

You love and trust your spouse, or so I assume. You believe that they will be able to provide for you and your family. That’s a part of why you’re at home with the kids and they’re working.

I touched upon this in the work at home section of the financial advantages of staying at home post yesterday. I reiterate this today – there is a lot of risk in being financially dependent on someone else.

Not because they’re unreliable. Not because they’re untrustworthy. But because you never know what life is going to bring you. Unemployment, disability, divorce and death can all happen, and you won’t always see it coming.

You need to have a plan in place to handle a financial crisis, whatever the cause may be. Shit happens. Take some time with your spouse and make sure that you and your family will be taken care of, no matter what happens.

That includes if something happens to you. Stay at home moms and dads provide a valuable service to their families. What would your family do without you? Your financial emergency plans should include something for if you can’t continue to care for your family for whatever reason. Life insurance for both parents is a good start. It doesn’t hurt to have small policies for the kids too. You know you would both be wrecks if something happened to one of your kids, right?

Get into the “what ifs.” They aren’t fun… in fact, they can be downright scary to consider. But they are important. Plan for them before you have a problem. They shouldn’t rule your lives, but they should be acknowledged.

Having One Parent Manage All The Finances

Even when both parents work, it’s not that uncommon for one to handle most or all of the finances. One usually has more interest in the subject or more time for it. That doesn’t make this an ideal situation.

Make sure both parents know what your financial situation is. The parent who works outside the home should not be the only one to know how your finances are doing. The same goes for the stay at home parent.

Both parents need to know what the bills are, when and how they get paid, what your income is, and what’s in savings. Take some time and talk about these things regularly, regardless of who handles the finances for the most part.

Offsetting The Financial Hazards Of Being A Stay At Home Mom Or Dad

There are some things you can do to offset the hazards of being a stay at home mom or dad. You need a safety net, for your own sake and the sake of your family. I mentioned working at home and improving your education in the benefits of being a stay at home mom or dad article. Those are the two big things you can do to minimize the risks.

Finding the right work at home opportunity is quite challenging. The scams are numerous and much easier to find than the legitimate opportunities. The skills you already have may or may not be suited to working at home and you may have to pick up an entirely new skill set. If you can make it happen, however, it can be well worth it.

Many parents plan on going back to working outside the home, at least part time, once the kids are in school. These jobs are generally easier to find than work at home jobs, but a part time job that makes the most of your skills can be very hard to find.

Taking classes at night at a college or online when the kids make it possible is always an option. Improving your education is a great choice if your career wasn’t where you wanted it to be before you became a stay at home parent. There are so many options now, although paying for it can be a challenge if your budget is tight.

Whatever you do as a stay at home parent, consider your financial future. Don’t leave it as some vague thing to be handled when the kids get older. Plan now so that you can make the most of your time as a stay at home parent and still have a good career later. You will thank yourself later for thinking of your financial future now.

The decision to become a stay at home mom or dad is usually not made lightly. There can be significant financial consequences, both to the family and to the parent who stays home with the kids. But there can also be financial benefits of being a stay at home mom or dad, and these are worth considering.

No Daycare Costs

The cost of daycare for young children is significant, and this is often a large part of why a mom or dad may choose to stay at home. The more kids you have, the more this costs. Sometimes a family comes to the realization that one paycheck is going almost entirely to the cost of daycare. There is little point in working outside the home if all your money goes to that.

The cost of childcare in much of the United States is higher than the cost of attending an in-state public college. This is why it’s difficult for many families to keep both parents working if they have more than one child – too much income goes to daycare.

I live in California, and according to the Child Care Aware map, the cost of in-home child care for an infant is $7,678. It’s $11,817 for a daycare center. The costs are a little less than double that if you have an infant and a 4 year old in childcare. That’s a lot of income out of your paycheck. Getting rid of that is a huge financial benefit.

These numbers get better, of course, once the kids go to public school and need less daycare. They’re pretty much irrelevant for me now, as my oldest is 15 and my youngest is turning 9 soon. That’s why so many parents go back to work once the kids are in school – you can earn enough to make things worthwhile more easily.

Income Taxes

Your income tax burden may drop when one parent has no income. Not only do you have less income to tax, you may fall into a lower tax bracket. The change in tax bracket, of course, depends on how much the family earned with both parents working versus having just one work.

Remember that the higher tax bracket only applies to the income above the previous bracket. The income below that is taxed at the lower rate. This makes estimating your taxes difficult, but you can give it a good shot if you want actual numbers to work with.

Spending Goes Down

Your family can decrease spending in many ways with a stay at home mom or dad. It’s not just about child care.

A stay at home parent’s wardrobe costs less than a professional wardrobe, as a general rule. Pretty much everything can be washed at home rather than dry cleaned, which helps as well. How much of a benefit this depends significantly on the job the parent had before.

Stay at home parents eat lunches out less as a general rule too. They also don’t grab coffee out as often as parents who work outside the home. Getting coffee and a little something for breakfast on the way to work can easily run $5 a day. When stay at home parents do go out, on the other hand, it’s usually with the kids, so things can add up a little faster.

These savings can also extend to dinner. Having a parent at home makes it easier for that parent to cook meals at home, so the family eats out less in the evenings too.

A stay at home parent can do a lot to help the family live more frugally. They have time to find the best deals on groceries and other things the family needs. Food is one of the major expenses for a family, and there are many ways to save money in this area.

Transportation Costs

The stay at home mom or dad no longer has commuting expenses. This can be a huge savings. We went through a time when we had only one car because I drove so little. The savings was incredible, as that means we only paid for insurance on one car, having sold the other. Where we live now, it’s not practical to have just one car, but my insurance premiums are pretty low since I still don’t drive as much as someone who commutes.

Your transportation expenses will probably go up some as the kids get older and go to school or join activities. How much of an impact this has depends on how far away these things are – I was able to walk my kids to and from school for years.

No Hidden Work Expenses

Working outside the home can have some hidden expenses beyond commuting and clothes. Consider the social side of working in an office. Some of these expenses don’t come up often, while others are more frequent.

Some places have employees contribute to a coffee fund, for example, so that coffee is always available for everyone. There may also be requests for contributions for birthday gifts, baby showers and retirement gifts for coworkers throughout the year.

While all these things are pretty small in most places, they can add up through the year.

Better Career Focus For The Working Parent

The parent who continues to work outside the home can put their complete focus on their career when the other parent stays at home. They don’t have to worry about being called home when one of the kids gets sick. Staying late to finish a project is easier when you don’t have to worry about being on time to get the kids from daycare, which also looks good to employers.

This makes that parent look more dedicated to their employer, and may improve his or her chances at advancing their career. This benefit can be hard to define because it depends on so many factors, but it can be significant.

Time To Improve Your Education

Taking some time to improve your education while you’re a stay at home parent is an expense, but you may be able to make that into a financial benefit when you return to work.

There are a lot of online education options these days. You might decide to learn to be a medical coder while you’re at home so that you can earn money. You might look at getting a degree from an accredited college.

Improving your education is never a guarantee that you will earn more money when you go back to work, but you do improve your chances. This can help make up for the opportunties lost while raising your family.

You Can Work From Home

Working from home is a benefit I strongly recommend to stay at home moms and dads. My income has saved us many times. Several years ago my husband was laid off from the job he held at the time, and the fact that I was bringing money in meant that it was a complication, but not a complete financial disaster.

Working at home is so affordable in most ways. Costs will depend on what you do, but many work at home jobs and online businesses don’t add a lot to your monthly expenses. If you need only your computer and your internet connection, well, these are things you’re paying for anyhow.

It is not easy to get started working from home for most people. Work at home jobs can be challenging to find, and businesses… are businesses. It takes time to make one into a success and there are no guarantees that you will ever succeed with an online business. On the other hand, they’re cheap. It costs very little to start a blog, for example.

I strongly recommend working at home, at least a little, when you’re a stay at home parent. A single income family can be hit hard if anything happens to the breadwinner parent. Unemployment, disability, divorce, and death are all things you probably won’t see coming but can happen to any family. Working from home gives your family a buffer against these problems.

These financial benefits of being a stay at home mom or dad aren’t meant to dismiss the very real financial risk a stay at home parent takes. I’ll be covering that next.

As discussed in the previous article, it’s easy to burn out as a stay at home mom. It’s not the easy job many people think it is, at least not all the time. We all have good days and bad days. Being a stay at home mom can go from the best job in the world to sheer drudgery in a short time, often in the same day.

1. Teach your kids to help

Teaching your kids to help out around the house is not always fun. It often makes the jobs take longer, and it takes kids a long time to learn to do the jobs as well as you’d like them done.

Kids are generally very willing to do some jobs, and very unwilling to do others. I encourage you to teach them to do both types. It’s a huge help to not be the only person in the house dealing with dishes, laundry, cooking and so forth.

Of course, your spouse/significant other should also be doing a share. Being a stay at home mom doesn’t mean you have to take care of it all, day and night, 7 days a week. Come to an agreement about responsibilities so that one parent isn’t taking the bulk of the load when both are home and available.

2. Don’t put your kids in more activities than you can handle

It’s not just parents who decide that kids go in a lot of activities. Sometimes kids want to do it all… soccer, ballet, baseball, karate, art, music lessons… the list goes on. It gets worse when you have more than one child, especially if their interests are different. You can do a lot of truly exhausting and time consuming running around if you aren’t careful.

There’s a balance to be struck between what you want your kids to do, what they want to do, and what you realistically have the time and/or money to do. All of it matters.

I suggest first taking into consideration what activities your child wants to do and deciding if it’s reasonable given the time and money required. My oldest, for example, wanted to join the local swim team, but after reviewing the cost and time commitments, we agreed that it wasn’t going to happen. I have since heard from other parents that you tend to get nickel and dimed a lot for swim team stuff, over and above the monthly fees, so I’m glad we didn’t join.

If there’s still room for more activities, next consider what you would like your child to do. I don’t suggest putting your child into something they’re strongly against without good reason, but sometimes it makes sense to tell your kids that they will try out a sport or a musical instrument, and decide together which is the most interesting, and how long they have to try it. There are good reasons for children to get involved in sports or music for a time, even if they don’t see it.

3. Learn to say no

Schools need volunteers, there’s no disputing that. In fact, I encourage you to volunteer at your children’s school when you have the time. I volunteer at my kids’ school one day a week for about an hour and a half, plus occasional field trips or special events.

I’ve even done walking field trips with classes that none of my kids were in just because I knew the teacher and she was short on volunteers. She asked me if I could go along the morning of the field trip because she knew I was flexible. We walked the classes to a local coffee shop so they could see their art displayed (the kids were allowed to buy a snack or a drink if they had money), then walk back. This took the place of my gym workout, so the time spent wasn’t a big deal, but really helped the teacher out. All together it was about 5 miles of walking, because I went with both of her classes.

If I hadn’t had the time, I would have declined and she would have understood. Most people will, although some will pressure you to volunteer when you don’t want to or shouldn’t. You have to learn to say no and mean it. That’s not easy if you’re used to helping out, but important when you realize you’ve been doing too much.

You may also need to learn to say no when friends or family ask for help and it’s not a time that you can do it. Do things for others when it’s reasonable but don’t demand the impossible from yourself.

4. Have fun with friends

One way you can make time for yourself is to go out and have fun with your friends once in a while. Not only is it good for you to have a social life, it’s good for your family to see you have a social life.

5. Get enough sleep

It’s easy to skimp on sleep. There’s so much to get done throughout the day, and it can be easier to get things done when everyone else is asleep. Early mornings and late nights add up, and leave you exhausted.

If you have to stay up late or get up early to get things done as a stay at home mom, you may need to have your husband and/or kids help out more. It is not all your job and you shouldn’t feel as though it’s all up to you. The other people in your family can help as appropriate by age and other obligations.

6. Do things away from home

I don’t mean just grocery shopping, although sometimes grocery shopping is a fair break. It’s not a great one. You should do more than that away from home.

Getting away from home doesn’t have to be without your family. It’s good for all of you to do things elsewhere. Head out to a park or museum, go for a hike, do something fun. A part of enjoying your time as a parent is doing things as a family as well as on your own.

7. Get away from your electronics

It’s easy to be overly attached to your smartphone or computer, but it’s not a good thing. Neither is watching too much television. Take time every day away from your electronics, especially close to bedtime. The light from electronic screens can make it harder to get to sleep.

If you are using your electronics at night, take a look at f.lux, which is a free program that changes the lighting on your computer screen. I really like it. I can’t promise that it will make it easier to sleep, but I like it on my computer.

8. Make time for yourself

Take time regularly to do things you enjoy, whether at home or out of the house. Read, work on a hobby, get out to the gym, whatever works for you. Not only is it a break for you from being on as “Mom” all the time, it shows your children that being a mom doesn’t have to mean losing yourself, and that’s good for them too. You deserve to be a priority.

9. Make time for your spouse/significant other

How long has it been since the two of you have been on a date? I know my husband and I often go too long without getting out alone together. It’s very easy to skimp on time for each other.

You don’t have to be fancy about this. You don’t even have to get out of the house, although I think it helps quite a bit. But if money and/or time are tight, find things to do at home together. You can watch a movie, which gives you the option of going out to the theater, grabbing a rental, or watching something you own or something playing on TV. You have have a special meal at a restaurant or something special together after the kids are in bed.

Doing things around the house together can be good too. My husband and I have a lot of fun just walking around the front and back yard of our new house, planning out how we’re going to change the landscaping to suit our needs and California’s drought.

10. Relax

Sometimes just kicking back and doing nothing is good. Really good. Maybe in a nice bath.

11. Consider getting a work at home job

I am a huge fan of at home moms and dads having a work at home job. The work I’ve done at home has helped keep our family afloat. If I didn’t work at home, we would not have been able to buy the house we are now in. I earn more than my husband now, so I definitely consider it worthwhile.

Not only does working at home give you more financial stability in a crisis, it’s a good example for your kids. It’s a lovely thing to be able to say that you trust your spouse to provide for your family, but too many families get hammered by realities which cannot be prevented. Death, disability, divorce, unemployment… I’ve written about these before but it bears repeating. Working at home is a way to protect your family financially while being there for them.

Having a work at home job will increase some stresses, of course, but I think the benefits are well worth it, especially if your family would otherwise be in a financial crisis.

Doing all of this won’t mean that you never feel burnt out; we all go through frustrating times in life. But it will help you to deal better with the challenges of being a stay at home mom. Don’t expect to be happy all of the time; that’s just not realistic. If you take care of yourself as well as your family, odds are you’ll enjoy your time raising your kids overall.

Are you a stay at home mom who doesn’t have enough to complain about because things are going too smoothly? Not to worry, you too can burn yourself out on the whole stay at home mom thing with a little excessive effort. Are you on the path to complete and utter exhaustion, frustration and burnout?

1. Do everything for your kids.

Don’t worry about teaching your kids how to do things for themselves or how to help around the house. If it needs doing, you do it. It’s all out of love, right? Kids don’t need chores, don’t need to clean up after themselves, do laundry or even cut their own meat as they get older. You can do that for them. They need the free time more than you do.

2. Put your kids in tons of activities.

I mean tons. You have the time to run them all over town, don’t you? They need their activities. Let them explore every interest. Who knows, one of those activities might help them get into college or even lead to a career! What do your time and the expense matter?

3. Be the volunteer everyone can rely upon.

School needs a volunteer? You’re right there. Church needs a volunteer? You’re right there. Someone in your extended family needs help? You got it. If someone needs you to do something, you say yes, rarely no, even when it’s inconvenient or someone else would be more suited to the job.

4. Never make time for yourself.

Your quiet time is when you go to the bathroom… assuming the kids don’t come running through the door – again. Or maybe when you go grocery shopping without the kids. Doesn’t that feel wonderful sometimes?

Real time for yourself? Who has time for that when caring for a family?

5. Distance yourself from your friends.

Making time for your friends would mean making time for yourself, and that’s just not happening, is it? You have more important things to do, and your friends just need to understand that.

6. Skimp on sleep.

Late nights and early mornings are just routine when you’re a mom, aren’t they? You have so much to get done, and a lot of it is easier to do when everyone else is asleep. You’ll get caught up someday.

7. Spend as much time as possible on your electronic devices.

If you’re not doing stuff for your family, you’re on your smartphone. Those apps aren’t going to play themselves, and how better to keep in contact with friends than texting? It’s a mental break. Your smartphone is never far from you.

8. Never go on a date with your spouse/significant other.

Who has time to maintain your other relationships when you have kids? They always need something, and sitters are so expensive. You’ll make time for that someday, but now? How?

9. Focus on having a perfect home.

You’re home all day, so of course your home should be perfect. If the kids make a mess, it needs to be cleaned up fast. There are no excuses for a messy home.

10. Worry about things that are out of your control.

Are your kids eating enough? What if your spouse loses his or her job? Then there’s who will win the next election, wondering what will break next in the house… there’s so much you can worry about and so little to be done about some of it..

Seriously, moms, try not to overdo all the things people expect of stay at home moms. You deserve time for yourself. Doing things for your kids, putting them in activities, volunteering and so forth have their place, but put limits on these things and make sure to take time to take care of yourself. You really don’t want to burn out on what can be a generally good time of your life.

Tomorrow, we’ll discuss how not to burn out as a stay at home mom. For now, can you think of more things that leave you feeling burned out as a SAHM?

There are good reasons to choose to be a stay at home parent, especially when the kids are little. Some choose to stay home with the kids until they’re all grown. It’s a good thing to do for your kids when your family’s situation allows it, but you should be aware of the risks. Life rarely goes as smoothly as we’d like, and that’s why every stay at home parent should have a safety net. Here are some options to consider.

Life Insurance

Having at least some life insurance on both parents is a generally good plan, regardless of who works or doesn’t. But if one parent has no income coming in, life insurance can be a way to ensure that in the event the working parent dies, they’ll get some money, which gives them some time to get things going again.

Don’t just buy a minimal policy if you can help it. Think about how much financial help your family would need if either parent dies while the children are still growing up. What is the financial value of each parent? How many years will you need that value to continue? What about medical bills and funeral costs?

Find a good insurance professional and talk about what kind of life insurance coverage your family should have. Be sure you understand the different kinds of life insurance. Get coverage on both parents, regardless of who earns an income. Stay at home moms and dads contribute significantly to the family in ways other than by earning an income. Money from an insurance policy can help the family deal with those issues after an at home parent dies.

Of course, life insurance only handles one of the potential problems that can arise for the family. It won’t help at all in many other situations. If divorce, disability or unemployment are causing financial issues, it won’t help at all.

Several Months’ Savings

Saving up several months’ income is another way to be ready for those problems life loves to throw at you unexpectedly. Having enough money to live on while you get things figured out for a few months is a huge help.

Saving up a lot of money may not be easy, depending on how close your expenses are to your income, but if you can manage it, do so. Living off savings is far better than using credit cards and having to pay them off later, believe me!

This should not be the same as your retirement fund if you can help it. By the way, you should have a retirement fund for yourself too, even if you have no other personal income.

Your Own Retirement Plan

Just because you’re a stay at home parent doesn’t mean you don’t need to contribute to a retirement plan for yourself. Whether you go back to work when the kids are older or not, contributing a retirement plan for yourself is very important. A lack of income means you aren’t contributing to Social Security, and that effects the benefits you would get when you’re older. There are a variety of plans you or your spouse can contribute toward for your retirement. Talk to a professional to learn more.

Up To Date Professional Skills

If you had to work outside the home, what would you do? What kind of work have you done in the past?

Make sure that you keep up on any qualifications for work you’ve done in the past, or work on qualifications for work you’d like to do. If you have to go back into the workforce because that’s the only way you can support your family, do what you can to make it the job you’d like, not just the first one to come along when you’re in a crisis.

Be very careful when choosing an online college or vocational program. Many programs are not worth what they cost. Others are excellent. You want a program whose graduates find appropriate work after graduation. If too many graduates have trouble finding employment related to their training, that’s not a good sign.

You can also read up on what’s happening in your industry. Read trade journals when you have the time. You can also consider joining a professional association. This can help you to keep in contact with people in your industry, which may become valuable if you go back to work, as well as help you be aware of changes in the industry.

Earn Income From Home

Of course, you can always do your best to earn income from home, as I and so many others do. There are many ways to do this, from working for an employer to working for yourself.

Don’t just look at how someone else is earning money from home, however. They’re doing what works for them. Look at what you can do. Other people can be an inspiration, but you’re more likely to succeed if you work things in your own way.

Do not expect earning an income from home to be easy. It rarely is. You have to figure out how you’re going to earn money and make it happen, while managing your at home life. It can involve using some kind of child care if your work requires more focus than you can manage with your children around. Alternatively, it may involve early or late hours, and less time for sleep.

Earning an income from home is my personal safety net because it doesn’t rely on how my husband is doing. If (god forbid) something happens to him, I’m still earning a living. My income has helped keep us afloat in the past.

Build a Support Network

If all else fails, or even if all else is working pretty well, make sure to have a good personal and professional support network. Your support network can help you get through tough times and may even help you find what you need to improve things, whether that’s a new job, the right doctor or something else. They might be there as a shoulder to cry on or bring a meal over to help you out.

Maintain or build your professional network on LinkedIn. Connect with former employers and coworkers. Look for relevant professional groups to join. Participate.

Keep in contact with friends and family in person as well as online. Getting some time with your parents, siblings, friends and so forth is important. You need time to be yourself, not just a mom or dad 24/7. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and so forth have their place and you should take advantage of your preferred social networks, but for most people there’s still nothing like getting together in person and having fun.

Also network with your fellow at home moms and dads. Many of them will have had professional careers too. You may be able to help each other keep up with your former careers, even if they were entirely different. You can always compare how you each keep up with things.

Talk About What If Something Happens To You

Don’t just consider what happens if something happens to your spouse or significant other. What if something happens to you? I promise, it will be a significant impact to your family, and something you should plan for.

Go beyond the life insurance mentioned before. Stay at home parents can become disabled too… how would you handle that as a family? Is your health insurance good enough to cope with that, and what about long term disability? It may not hurt to look at the costs of long term care insurance for the stay at home mom or dad. If you aren’t earning an income, you may not be able to get disability insurance, which is meant to replace the income you earned by working. Long term care insurance will ensure that you receive care if you need it for a long time, so your family doesn’t have that strain.

If disability insurance is what you want, you have to have an income. If you’re working now, look into an independent disability insurance policy. Pay attention to the terms, especially how long you need to have worked before quitting for the insurance to be effective. Make sure your policy will continue as long as you pay the premiums – the coverage is based on your paycheck when you were working, even if you later quit. This will probably be more expensive than disability coverage provided by an employer, but coverage from an employer only helps while you have that job.

You don’t need to limit yourself to just one of these, of course. The more things you do to protect yourself, the better off you are if things go wrong.