Note to My Baby, at 8 Months Pregnant

THAT is my belly button. It is not an exit, nor will it be one at any time in the future. Pushing on it will not help you get out.

THOSE are my lungs. I need them to breathe. Kicking them day and night may be entertaining, but they will keep getting in your way. They are also not blocking the way out.

THAT is my stomach. Kicking it gives Mommy heartburn. Lots and lots of heartburn.

THAT is my bladder. Now we’re getting closer to the way out. But that does not mean you get to use it as a punching bag. Keep your head in that general area, and when it’s time for you to come out you’ll be aimed in more or less the right direction.

Despite my complaints, it’s so much fun feeling you move around. Sleepless nights and all. We’ll be getting to know each other even better soon. I look forward to it.

Love, Mommy

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4 Responses

  1. Hilarious and of course, I can relate!v

  2. Tara says:

    Oh I love that! I remember with all 4 of my pregnancies I enjoyed every movement my kids made. When I would not feel them kick the wind out of me I would always worry! So, I began to just adjust to the all night parties my kids loved so much!

  3. Nina says:

    Ah, I gave birth five months ago and this all seems like it was yesterday.

  4. hank says:

    Thanks for the very humorous post. My wife gave birth to our first child a year ago but it doesn’t seem like a year has passed. I really look forward to reading more from you in the future.